christyham

IV been on this site a few times over the past couple of years when I have been down after a binge of drink. I then have went off thinking I can control it and at times I have controlled it for a few months but eventually it comes around again where I become complacent and band I am drunk memory loss etc. etc.

I have said before I don't crave alcohol and I can go months without drinking but when I get to social occasions like weddings, stag partys, birthdays etc. I end up drinking myself into a mess.

This has to change I have spoke to my wife before but she always says your not an alcoholic you just need to moderate your drinking when you are out. I do try but when I get to 5 or 6 drinks I just go of the rails.

I really want to give up drink but do I tell my wife or anyone else. I'm ashamed to be honest and I'm also scared to tell her encase I let her down again.

Do I need to go AA I really cannot get the courage to go as I feel so ashamed.
Can I give up alcohol without AA

cheebiechi

Honesty is the key for me, yes you can give up drinking on your own, but I find it a lot easier to share what I am going through with people who have or are going through the same as well. No need to be ashamed, we were all there, and we are all just one drink away from the ditch again!!!

Stay strong,

Matt

FeelingGreat

Hi Christyham, now that you've finally decided to stop attempting moderation and go for abstinence, you need to have the courage of your convictions. You have your reasons and you don't have to justify them to anyone.
It would be wise however to tell your wife so that she can support you. Just don't be half-hearted. I'm not sure what your relationship is like, but is there any reason why you wouldn't expect support from her? It would be nice to have her on-side when a big occasion comes around. As for others, a simple 'I'm not drinking tonight' usually suffices. You don't have to give them your life story.
Whether you go to AA is up to you. Many people stop drinking without AA, and many others credit it with long term sobriety. I personally didn't use AA because I am not a fan of the religious HP side, but I did go and see my doctor. If I had not been successful I would have gone to AA, because sobriety is my top priority.
I think you'll find that life will be much more relaxing sober. You won't have the constant anxiety of 'should I', 'how much?', 'too much?'.
Don't forget to come back to SR for support, especially during danger times.

seanie1888

I tried to moderate many a time Christy,
Always found myself back totally beat and confused after a binge wondering how did that just happen.
I found out i'm powerless over alcohol and that's ok
No need to be ashamed about AA, most fantastic people i've met on this earth go to them rooms.
Don't forget they in there for the same reason as why I'm there.
I found my answer in AA but that's just me.
Listen if its the Strabane i'm thinking of i'm not to far from you, drop me a pm if you want.
All the best
Sean

littlemelorelei

The more support you can get the better, your recovery is a long road, it's lonely to walk it alone x

Sulu1

I agree. You can never have to much support. I've tried it so many times on my own and haven't been able to see it through.

Croissant

I think maybe it's the problem of the connotations associated with the word alcoholic, that people struggle with.

Lots of people have drinking problems....they don't even need to be categorised as being an alcoholic. But they have something that needs to be addressed.

I had a friend who drank very occasionally, but did exceptionally dumb things, when he drank from time to time. That was enough for him to stop. Why play with fire?

I think you can easily tell your partner you don't like the effects drinking has on you and that is it. Your choice.

christyham

Thanks FeelingGreat no there is no reason I cant tell. We have a great marriage and she is my best friend I suppose that's what makes it even harder as I am ashamed that I have let her down. I suppose its the whole not liking to be different.
Thanks again for your support

Treerat66

Hi christyham, welcome to SR
My wife didn't believe I was an alcoholic until I pointed out all the red flags associated with my drinking. Go to a sobriety web site and find a list of possible red flags, then go through them and note the ones that relate to you, examples help to back you up.

christyham

Thanks Croissant, when you put it like that it makes it sound easier.
As you have said I do know I have a drinking problem and I suppose it doesn't matter if you class it as being an alcoholic or not I still know I have a problem.
I hate how I behave on drink its just not me, so its time to put this right.
Thanks again

Dee74

Hi christyham

For me my alcoholism is on a need to know basis. Those close to me know. For the rest I'm Dee the non drinker.

People said that to me too - the problem was I could never moderate my drinking - not with any guarantee of success.

yep - and when I stopped drinking it amazed me how most other folks had one or 2 drinks and left it at that.....

You've found a good place for support here - welcome aboard

D