fell flat on my face
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 142
fell flat on my face
So disappointed but aggravated too. Have not told my friends yet because I have an actual quit date in mind of June 3rd. I was doing well for four days then last night my friends surprised me with a night out-basically I binge drank. Please don't tell me to get new friends. My husband, who is overly supportive, and I are now in a wicked fight. He's mad I drank but mostly mad because I did not drink with him. I don't know if I can do this for real. How did I get here?!?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
And getting Binge-Drink drunk on the trip will make it more special and a better vacation?
if you think about it, no it won't you can be hung-over and miserable and remember your trip this way, or you can be done with drinking no matter if it is Monday, dooms day, the last full moon or the total eclipse of the sun.
YOU have to be ready to quit for YOU, not hubby, your favorite team, friends or vacation.
if you think about it, no it won't you can be hung-over and miserable and remember your trip this way, or you can be done with drinking no matter if it is Monday, dooms day, the last full moon or the total eclipse of the sun.
YOU have to be ready to quit for YOU, not hubby, your favorite team, friends or vacation.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
You will be a statistical anomaly if you can make an excuse to drink again and then stop after that.
Seems like you fear spending sober time with your friends more than you fear the negative consequences of continued alcohol use.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
Seems like you fear spending sober time with your friends more than you fear the negative consequences of continued alcohol use.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: TN
Posts: 114
Originally Posted by whatcouldbe 
So disappointed but aggravated too. Have not told my friends yet because I have an actual quit date in mind of June 3rd. I was doing well for four days then last night my friends surprised me with a night out-basically I binge drank. Please don't tell me to get new friends. My husband, who is overly supportive, and I are now in a wicked fight. He's mad I drank but mostly mad because I did not drink with him. I don't know if I can do this for real. How did I get here?!?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by whatcouldbe
So disappointed but aggravated too. Have not told my friends yet because I have an actual quit date in mind of June 3rd. I was doing well for four days then last night my friends surprised me with a night out-basically I binge drank. Please don't tell me to get new friends. My husband, who is overly supportive, and I are now in a wicked fight. He's mad I drank but mostly mad because I did not drink with him. I don't know if I can do this for real. How did I get here?!?
At some point you may want to consider breaking the cycle right now instead of basing it on some future event. I have a coworker who everyone at work quietly knows is an alcoholic. She wants to quit drinking but can't because every time she brings it up to me there is always a company event next week where she will be "forced" to drink in our work hard / play hard culture. She has spent the last 10 weeks waiting for a good time to quit; I've spent the last 10 weeks being sober.
You should be able to count on your friends' support 100%. One of my coworkers loves to drink - a lot. One day earlier in sobriety we left the office together and I mentioned how it was the kind of spring day that made a drink sound like a great idea. Her immediate response was, "no - you're not doing that" and the conversation moved on.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
The sooner you learn to deal with life events sober the sooner you will stop the chaos.
There will always be occasions to justify your drinking.
Not sure this is what you want to hear. Sad but it's true
There will always be occasions to justify your drinking.
Not sure this is what you want to hear. Sad but it's true
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
your post expresses shame and frustration with yourself. You WANT to stop - yet your 'planned quit date' allows specifically for you to go do it again....
It seems to me like you're fighting yourself.
I wonder if you took some quiet time alone to reflect on things, whether you'd find it more important to have "one last fling" with alcohol or to honor that part of you who feels disappointed, ashamed and frustrated that you 'fell flat on your face'....
You really don't have to drink on that trip with your friends. I know you feel like you do - I've been there - but you really don't. And you can have a fantastic time.
Also - you really don't have to go. Even if it's bought and paid for. The world won't end if you don't go because you choose to honor that voice calling to you from your heart saying "I don't want to live like this"......
In fact, not only will the world not end, it will open up in whole new ways you never dreamed possible.
So... I donno.... maybe it's time for some deep reflection on what's really important.
You don't have to keep living this spiral.
It seems to me like you're fighting yourself.
I wonder if you took some quiet time alone to reflect on things, whether you'd find it more important to have "one last fling" with alcohol or to honor that part of you who feels disappointed, ashamed and frustrated that you 'fell flat on your face'....
You really don't have to drink on that trip with your friends. I know you feel like you do - I've been there - but you really don't. And you can have a fantastic time.
Also - you really don't have to go. Even if it's bought and paid for. The world won't end if you don't go because you choose to honor that voice calling to you from your heart saying "I don't want to live like this"......
In fact, not only will the world not end, it will open up in whole new ways you never dreamed possible.
So... I donno.... maybe it's time for some deep reflection on what's really important.
You don't have to keep living this spiral.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,498
Originally Posted by whatcouldbe
Why have I read to set a date and stick to it then. I am confused....
We always encourage people to stop drinking right now, today. Who knows what could happen if you wait.
You could try to enjoy your vacation sober.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Originally Posted by tim68
All I can say is that you know you can't be in an environment surrounded by alcohol and expect to achieve sobriety. That's illogical. Your going to have to face some hard reality and tell your "friends" your giving up alcohol. The true friends you have will support you on a night out without that type environment. And the rest will disprove that they are truly your friend. Your going to have some losses getting sober. Worry about you and your health. That's the most important thing. I'm pulling for you. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
I'm cornfused. Your quit date is June 3 but you already quit and failed. Was this a practice quit?
And a practice relapse? Think of the money youll save. Or is this an all inclusive and you want to get your moneys worth.
And a practice relapse? Think of the money youll save. Or is this an all inclusive and you want to get your moneys worth.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi whatcouldbe
I tried for years not to change my life...to only change my drinking. I never made it work.
My life was *about* drinking...if yours is too, then that HAS to change...it's imperative.
The problem I have with picking a date is I would try to cram so much last hurrah drinking in there that I usually ended up drunk on my quit date day, and I thought 'screw it...I'll try again later'
The Chinese have a proverb - the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, The second best time is today
don't waste you're life waiting for things to happen whatcouldbe - make them happen
D
I tried for years not to change my life...to only change my drinking. I never made it work.
My life was *about* drinking...if yours is too, then that HAS to change...it's imperative.
Originally Posted by whatcouldbe
Why have I read to set a date and stick to it then. I am confused....
Why have I read to set a date and stick to it then. I am confused....
The Chinese have a proverb - the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, The second best time is today
don't waste you're life waiting for things to happen whatcouldbe - make them happen
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Island Park , NY
Posts: 373
Originally Posted by whatcouldbe
So disappointed but aggravated too. Have not told my friends yet because I have an actual quit date in mind of June 3rd. I was doing well for four days then last night my friends surprised me with a night out-basically I binge drank. Please don't tell me to get new friends. My husband, who is overly supportive, and I are now in a wicked fight. He's mad I drank but mostly mad because I did not drink with him. I don't know if I can do this for real. How did I get here?!?
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