Fidget

I am new to this board, so i decided to simply put up a new thread. i am Chrysi. I am 21, divorced, and just recently moved to Sc from NY. i am living with my BF and he and i didnt smoke when we moved here. he was the active smoker, but he quit smoking several times, it was easy for him to do. he says that he does not need it... but after i started smoking, i liked the feeling. no pain. i was numb... My BF and i have been fighting for a while about silly things... so i kept smoking bc it felt better. now, i can no longer go an 8 hour period with out it. and to top it off, it has lead me into X and drinking and cold meds. also, i can not sleep with out pm meds in me. it stared like nothing was going to happen, and i never thought i would be here. i was the ANTI drug person in HS. no one could even get me near a cigarette, and now i am about 1 pack a day. i know that i am not the worst case, and i should be thankful that i am not on the streets. but being a waitress allows me not to have to worry about it. i can make all the money i want. i just need help. i dont like how i have become a slave to this. please help! PS... this is me

Chy

Hi Fidget and welcome!

Yup, cigarettes, can be a nasty little addiction. Though I was able to quit drinking I still smoke, and am working towards giving them up to, but it's a highly addictive little stick isn't it. It sounds like your allowing that to be the reason your using other substances, so what to do? Well I'd like to suggest you visit our NA and Substance abuse forums allon with Nicotine forum.

You will see the horrors addictions caused us here. You will see the difficulty we endure in quitting and getting clean and sober, but the good news is it's never to late to quit, seek out help, and take back control, before it get's out of control. So Stick around, have a read through the various forums, and make a firm decision about what you need to do, and know there is plenty of help in doing it.

Fidget

Thank you so much! i am not just talkin about cigarettes though. i am talkin about marajuana, X, sleep/cold aids, and drinking. i know i need help and i thank you for holding out a hand.

Chy

I figured as much, and left it for you to share that, but you'll see a bunch of people holding out their hand to help.. in fact I think their on the way over now!

We're very glad your here!

Fidget

*tear* thank you! i tried to talk to my BF about this, and he said i was full of ****, and that no one can be addicted to weed, and that it was not a gateway drug.... but it is.

ted

HEY FIDGET,WELCOME.I'M TED ALCOHOLIC/ADDICT.
YOU'VE FOUND A GREAT PLACE TO GET THE HELP AND SUPPORT YOU SEEK.
LOTS OF GREAT FOLKS HERE.STICK AROUND AND GET WELL....ted :veryhappy

Fidget

Thanks Ted. you as well!

Dan

Welcome Fidget!Purple lips this early in the morning make me dizzy
How quick it happens no? Real innocent at first, a substance comes to take over your life. I let that happen for thirty years.
I'm done now.
My life. My rules.

bikewench

Hey Fidget...

Welcome to SR...

There's a saying in AA... but it applies across all addictions...

The man takes a drink... then the drink takes a drink... then the drink takes the man....


Or...

One's too many and a thousands not enough... ; )

That's the nature of addiction.. it's always progressive.

For myself as well... when the overuse of one substance became a problem for me... I'd simply switch to a less problematic substance until that became a problem..

So.. I was much like you... battling a multitude of substances but having it all turn into one big ugly unmanageable ball for me.

I had to go to 12 step meetings to get my mind working in the right direction.

Your right to be concerned about your "using"...

I hope you go to any lengths to help yourself.... before the need gets firmly entrenched.

Fidget

Thanks. i knew b4v i had a problem when i was visiting my mom and i bought some and to hide it, i went to the attic and it was sweltering. then i called my mom at 4 am crying. i am still shakey and sick. i told her and she cried too! i hurt people. i never wanted to hurt her.

triegger

Fidget,

I am Triegger, an alcoholic, but also a newbie here. 36 hours sober now with the help and support of these great people.

I am too new to offer real advice other than to share that the first step for me was to admit I had a problem and I could not control it. Listen and post, share your feelings and the support is there.

Know you are in my thoughts and prayers,

Triegger

Fidget

HEY! I sure hope that you do well... thanks for the support. i am here if you need me as well...

splendra

Hey Fidget-

It sounds like you do have some problems there where you are. I live in charlotte near you. I know there are lots of NA & AA meetings here and it sounds like you need to find a meeting fast!! Probably Rock Hill has them too. It sounds like you are combining too many substances and it could be pretty dangerous. Look up AA & NA up in the phone book and call someone......
Your friend,
Lisa

bikewench

Fidget...

None of us intentionally wanted to get addicted or have our behaviours around addiction hurting other people.. but that's the nature of the beast...

Your right to be scared... your on the cusp of having a substance take years from your life...

I know what your going through... and I pray that you reach out and look for help where you are. There's no one right way to get right... ; )... but I know that the 12 step groups are open 24 hours...

This is the drug section of SR... lots of experience, strength and hope to be shared there...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...splay.php?f=20

Your not alone Fidget... I've walked this path and so have many others... and there's freedom if you want it.

Fidget

I do! i want to feel again, and not feel like this...

lizzy81001

your bf is the one that is full of s***. this is my 5th day without pot and my husband is the same way. because he smokes, i have to deal with it at home as well. he says pot is not a drug and not physically addictive. he also says there are no withdrawals. Randa (another on this site) introduced the possibility that he would know whether or not there were withdrawals if he stopped smoking to see. anyhow, you are young and waitressing. i am 23 and stopped waitressing last year after 3 years. whats more i was working in sports bars as opposed to family restaurants where almost everyone was certain to be on something. whether is was pot, alcohol, ex, coke, or anything else. the first step is realizing how you feel and that you don't want to feel that way anymore. so welcome. take you shoes off and read. reading about everyone and seeing the support that is available makes the biggest difference. hope this helps. have a great holiday.
Audra

Rowan

Hi Fidget, I'm Rowan and I'm an alcoholic. I'm so glad you're here. I hope you make the choice to become clean and sober, because life gets so much better! And you're worth it! Keep posting in here and let us know how you are doing.
Keep coming back.

justine

Hi Fidget,
Well sounds to me as if your Man should be visiting here with you.
I'm sure most people on SR will tell you that most of us started out smoking pot.It starts off o.k then you find yourself looking for a "better" high then it snowballs till you spend your days consumed with the constant chase to feel that high.
Dont you listen to him Babe you listen to your own heart and conscience!!
We are all here to help and support you.

KelKel

Hi Fidget...
welcome to Sober Recovery...
You will have to excuse my ingnorance on the subject, but what is X?
There is alot of knowledge here in the forums.
Experience, Strength and Hope are woven in to the threads.

I do hope that you will take a serious look at where the progressive disease of addiction can lead you, it can be found here on forums and/or maybe going to a meeting would help. A support group like AA/NA should be the easiest to find and most likely the most helpful. It really does help to be around others going through the same kinds of struggles.

I find the purple lips very intriguing to the eye and brain...
Comforting to the quiet side.

Oh my name is Kel and I am an addict to alcohol. I am sober today and was yesterday as well. I am not thinking about tommorow, just the now.
It is not perfect but it is better and the chaos has become more like life's daily trials and tribulations and sober I can deal with them.

needtogrowup

Hello Fidget,
You are at the right place for help and support. I am on my 4th day clean from pot. I have to go to the fair..and just took a quick peek at thsi site as it can be addicting..I love it and I bet you will soon learn what I mean if you stick around..I love these people and I have only been here almost a week.. Hang in there girl..and come back..we all need eachother..randa