Keree1

This is only my second post to this board so please bear with me. I have been reading this board on a daily basis, and the other night my "A" ask me what I was reading. I told him an Alanon fourm and he has not said 20 words to me since! I do find some peace in that, but most of all I feel quilty. The tension in this house is unreal. I have been doing alot of thinking and praying (mostly thinking)about what I need to do.
I have a 13 y/o daughter who has some major emotional problems (sucide thoughts), and who is in counseling and on medication for depression ( which I might add, has quit taking). My head tells me to ask him to leave, but my heart feels so sorry for him. We have been married 20 years with several separtations. I cannot "make the bills" without him and I am not sure he would consistantly pay support. I have thought about getting a second job, but with the state my daughter is in, I am afraid to leave her and my other children alone for very long. What do I do?
Our marriage has been over for a long time in alot of ways. Sex makes me sick to my stomach and I stay up very late so I won't have to go thur it.
I am very confused, and scared!!!! My daughter is slipping away, my life is, for the most part, a living hell, and I am terrified! I am sorry for such a long post, it is just that I really don't have anyone objective to talk too. Thankyou for listening and please keep me in your prayers.

In God's Love <img border="0" alt="[Baby]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/baby.gif" />

smoke gets in my eyes

I don't know if addiction makes a person self centered or if it's self centered people who tend to become addicted, but it is often an incredible shock to an addict that their behavior is perceived as such a problem that SOMEONE ELSE has to seek help over it. "YOU? What are YOU complaining about?"

You are in a tough spot. I would ask you to carefully evaluate however, how much he really contributes to the household. Lots of time we find when we do this that
THEIR INCOME minus THE COST OF DRUGS/ALCOHOL/FINES/MEDICAL/LEGAL is a negative figure. Their monetary value is sometimes an illusion. Not always.

Try making an escape plan as if you HAD to. All of your reasons for staying are understandable, but there can be circumstances that negate even the very best reasons. Pretend you HAVE to. What steps would you take? Many times just the realization that we have an option is enough to help us cope. When coping is a choice it's easier. Give yourself a choice.

By the way, your husband probably feels sorry enough for himself that he doesn't need assistance in that department.

Hugs!
Smoke

Keree1

Thankyou for your reply. As I mentioned, I have been praying about what to do and guess what the topic of my meeting (online) was today? Yep, you guessed it DETACHMENT! Is that a sign or what?
Thanks Again

Ann

Keree

Ditto to what Smoke said. And keep working on your recovery regardless of what anyone thinks. It is your life and your health at stake here.
Having a plan is a terrific idea, it is like insurance..you may not need it today, but tomorrow you may be glad you have it.

Hugs