HealthFirst

Hi all,

I'm on day #3 of sober living and I find that my mind is preoccupied with being sober. I wasn't a daily drinker - in fact I usually drank on weekends. However, now I find myself keep thinking about how I'm never going to drink again, the social effects, how good I'll feel, checking this site, looking for meetings, how I'll share my new journey with friends, etc.

I find it a bit annoying that this is constantly on my mind - much more than drinking.

Does anybody have any experiences like this to share and how it turned out?

tim68

I'm on day 3 myself. If your preoccupied with being sober you know you have a problem. Congrats on recognizing it. My main concern like you is that alcohol is that comfortable "pal" lurking around. Really its just the wolf in sheeps clothing for an alcoholic like me. I'm doing this for me and my health first and foremost. True friends will understand, support and stick by you. The ones that disappear will be the ones that loved you as their "drinking buddy". I think the biggest fear is how do I do things without alcohol? Right? You just have to learn to live life a different way. I'm in that process now and am coping with the graceful help of others here for right now. Just know that I know how you feel and your not alone. SR is a great place to be and is my primary source. Try a few different sources and choose what works for you. I'm thankful your here. Your not alone. One day at a time. Tomorrow will be day 4 for both of us.

LBrain

thanks tim, "If you're preoccupied with staying sober... you have a problem."
That's a fact Jack!
In early sobriety many - if not all - experience that exact same phenomenon.

It's your AV, that Alcoholic Voice inside your head. It's going to challenge you every step of the way until you are strong enough to overcome it. It may never go away. You just have to be the boss over yourself. Work on some exercises to help you deal with it.
Eventually it will give up. But you have to be stronger than IT.
Glad to hear you decided to join us. Welcome aboard.

doggonecarl

I've been sober over three and a half years How did I do it? By being preoccupied with my sobriety. Daily.

And it doesn't annoy me, one bit.

Katsmeeyow

I'm trying to understand it also and how it's annoying. I'm very preoccupied with mine and I'm not sure I would have it any other way. I probably just don't understand the dilemma.

ETA: congrats on day 3!!

JohnnySober99

I went through the same thing before.. and all I can say is it's not necessarily a bad thing. It definitely subsides after a while.. the longer you go without drinking, the less you think about it. There are so many resources available to someone trying to quit drinking that we can easily get caught up in it.. if you view this as a positive and coming on SR as kind of a "hobby" then I wouldnt' really see any harm in it

PurpleKnight

If your doing the same thing as you used to do just with no alcohol, that usually means sitting at home, bored thinking about alcohol and that's not going to end well.

You need to plan new activities, completely change your pattern of life, the more you change your routine the less time you'll have to think about what you used to do.

You need create a NEW you!! a Sober one!!

Oldselfagain

^^^^So true!!!

sugarbear1

Congrats on 3 days!

Verte

Hi Healthfirst, (editing: now that I read it...I think I misunderstood your question. Sorry. I'll post anyway. Day8 brain?).

The preoccupation is one reason I just kept on drinking. Not wanting to be preoccupied with anything and definitely not wanting to add a label to myself.

Being an athlete, academic, daughter, sister, wife, colleague, rain-maker, sweetheart...these were all good ways to label myself.

A huge problem for me has been the anxiety over the reality that all around me among team members, family, colleagues was and continues to be this unspeakable problem. But hey, we're a team right? We take care of each other. If we don't say 'it' then 'it' does not exist.

Today I am thinking about what DID NOT stop me from problem drinking with all of my circle:

Death. A lot of untimely funerals among friends, team-members, the funerals involving substances are haunting me today (Day8) and there have been too many. Nobody talked about it though, we all just got loaded after and kept moving forward.

Illness. A lot of it. Mental and physical. Did not stop us, me.

Guilt, shame, pain, loss of every kind. But hey? We're a team.

Many in my circle believe that they are 'functioning' with their 'just' mary-j, pain killers and alkee-hall. But I assure you they are not. Total pain and destruction. Has and will continue to be.

And after looking out for 'the team' and staying true and loyal. Here I find myself with this solo journey. This is reality for me and how it MUST be for now.

I have to do this now. It has to stop. Nothing, not even the immediate threat of my own death has stopped me or anyone I know in the past (the 'promising youth' that are already dead definitely did not see that coming...if they were here today I am certain they would take that one night back).

No one can face this problem, say adios, except for me. I want this issue laid to rest. One day at a time.

Sorry if this is heavy. I'm really trying hard to not make light of the seriousness of this journey. Our lives really do depend on it.

Day3 was really hard for me. Hang in there. Keep your eye on the prize!

least

The longer you're sober, the less you'll think about it as it will become your new normal. I am very aware that I can never drink again but not to the point that I obsess over it. It's just the way my life is.

HealthFirst

Those were extremely helpful posts. Just to clarify, it's a problem for me b/c I used to focus on what I was doing (successful at work, being a husband, dad, eating, etc.). Now, I feel like this thing is in my mind the whole time that says "I'm never going to drink again". "How is it going to be in a week? A month? A year? 10 years from now?" bla bla bla...

I am glad that, for some, it got better. Because I'd like to get my focus back to what I'm actually doing at the present moment.

When I was drinking, I was not preoccupied with "I gotta home and drink"; well, actually, I did think about "grabbing a beer" pretty often but would resist.

Thank you for the support. I'm going to my second AA meeting tonight.

Dee74

Hi HealthFirst

Give it a little time. Even if you drank sporadically, you've made a major change to your life.

I'm willing to bet your drinking history is some years old. You're only 3 days into recovery.

It gets better - you'll meet new challenges sober, you'll re-engage with the other parts of your life, and the obsession will die

D