Robert777

I have heard that phrase going around and relate a lot. I have also heard others saying alcohol stopped working for me. I have been trying to get sober for a long time now but just keep going back to it. If I am honest, I love being drunk and don't want to stop drinking. I am still youngish at 28years of age. The main motivation for me giving up is my family threatening to throw me out of the house. Alcohol has many negative consequences in my life but I still love it dearly, that euphoria is hard to let go off. My life is presently a ruin, i have severe social anxiety disorder and live a quite isolated life with really no purpose. I depend on my family to provide for me so I am caught between a rock and a hard place. Another part of me thinks that me being thrown out of my house would be a big wake up call and help me to make a life for myself. I live a quite luxurious life now, meals all made for me, nice food and drink always in the house. I can get up out of bed whenever I want, stay up till however late I want. So yeah, I don't really have much incentives to get sober. The anxiety is killer in my life but I have suffered like this for so long, I am kind of used to it, going on a decade living like this. So yeah, I never usually post and only lurk but I think it is good for me to share this, maybe I will learn something I am presently unaware of. Thanks, Robert.

Robert777

Most times I drink now is just me in a bush with my ipod since I can't drink in the house anymore. Strangely, this is all I need and I cherish these times. I like being out in nature when drinking and the tunes just enhance the good feelings. Ive been to rehab a few times, been in and out of AA. I guess I'm too comfortable in my life.

doggonecarl

You've got 58 posts Robert, over the course of a couple years. Part of you wants to get sober.

Why don't you quit for a while and let that person emerge. You can always go back to drinking if sobriety is so miserable. But frankly, I don't think you've given it a fair shake.

Robert777

I mean life is suffering, once you stop drinking, life and all it's ****** problems are still there. Alcohol keeps me content.

Coldfusion

There is probably an AA meeting soon near you. I pray that you find help,

Robert777

Hi, yes the longest I have had is seven months and my life did improve a lot but still. I guess I am just getting real sick and tired of struggling against this thing. I am tired of all the guilt my family makes me feel for choosing with my own free-will what I want to do. I also have no clue what I want to do with my life so that makes it even harder. I don't have much motivations. Guess I have depression too.

Robert777

I went to one yesterday. Felt not so bad about being sober. But today, things are different. Why can't things just stay the bloody same?

Verte

Stepping away from the bush and posting on the site is a great start.

I think you have great incentive to stop drinking...SR is SO helpful.

Keep reading and posting!

Robert777

If alcohol stops working for me, then of course it would make sense to give it up completely. But it still does the trick and helps me escape the misery of my life.

Robert777

Hi, I have tried before to just use this site to stay sober and it was never enough. The compulsion to drink is just too strong for me.

Verte

How is alcohol 'working' for you? In all seriousness. What is it doing for you?

CAPTAINZING2000

At first drinking was fun in my life
Later trouble came with the drinking
At the end of my drinking days,
All drinking did was cause me trouble.
I know a few functioning alcoholics.
Drinking as far as I can tell, never got
Them into any apparent trouble.
What separated me from them,
There are consequences when I drank.

Robert777

I am tired of the loneliness and isolation. I am tired of the anxiety stopping me from enjoying the company of people. I am well and truly FUBAR!!!

Robert777

It makes me feel good for a few hours, it reduces my anxiety for a few hours letting me be my real self, it gets me out of the house, and is the greatest escape I know of.

Thepatman

Hi Robert,

It sounds to me like your situation is enabling you. 28 is still rather young but make no mistake about it, you can add 10 years to this and not even see the years pass in front of you.

I hope you can kick this killing habit and seek help.

Robert777

Yeah, I get consequences too. But also solace.

BHappy2014

Just a thought and I'm only on Day 2 so don't trust me. But, maybe alcohol is keeping you stuck. Things might become clearer if you quit and my anxiety is enhanced after a binge. Just a thought

Robert777

Thanks, part of me does too. Or else I wouldn't be here. But it feels like it's got it's claws too deep into me.

Robert777

I believe you are right. But the mountain looks to damn steep and slippy that I have to climb up. Guess I am comfortable right now even thou at times I suffer terribly. Might sound strange but its how I feel.

Coldfusion

That's why there are meetings every day, sometimes more than one.