Thought I had it beat
Thought I had it beat
Good morning SR:
It has been a while since I posted. Well I am here to say that I was wrong. I thought I had this drinking thing beat. But again, I wake up hung over.
Over the last week I have been drinking out in the garage and it is continuing to escalate. I have also noticed that the wife and myself never argue unless I have been drinking. Man the cycle is so old and I hate it.
Well today is a new day and I threw everything out this morning. Today, SR is my day one again and I am looking forward to it.
I stayed sober for about three weeks so I can remember how good I felt. So along with my concern for my marriage is my motivation as of right now.
Please pray for me or pass the good thoughts in my direction if you would, I could use them. Thanks
It has been a while since I posted. Well I am here to say that I was wrong. I thought I had this drinking thing beat. But again, I wake up hung over.
Over the last week I have been drinking out in the garage and it is continuing to escalate. I have also noticed that the wife and myself never argue unless I have been drinking. Man the cycle is so old and I hate it.
Well today is a new day and I threw everything out this morning. Today, SR is my day one again and I am looking forward to it.
I stayed sober for about three weeks so I can remember how good I felt. So along with my concern for my marriage is my motivation as of right now.
Please pray for me or pass the good thoughts in my direction if you would, I could use them. Thanks
I had to accept that I had a problem with
alcohol and my life had become unmanageable
in the first 28 days in rehab. Then I had to
become willing to listen, learn, absorb and
apply what I was being taught about my
addiction and its affects on my mind, body
and soul and those around me.
I had to quickly learn to remove any notions
that I could drink successfully down the road.
That I could control my drinking. If I had tried
countless times before to control or manage
my drinking skills and failed so many times,
then it will never work a week from now, a
month from now, a yr. from now, and certainly
not 23 yrs sober now.
It just aint gonna happen. EVER.
I wanted what so many had that learned
how to stay sober for a many one days at
a time to get them where they are today.
Happiness, healthiness, honestly, freedom.
I wanted that more than anything and it
wasn't gonna happen over night like so
many of us wish it would be.
The steps in my program allowed me to
work thru all wreakage I caused in past,
work to clear the clutter I accumulated
in my life over the yrs.. All the baggage
and heavy crosses I had been carrying on
my shoulders.
Each step I work thru allowed the layers
of my past life to slip away, fall off to unveil
the true me. The little girl born 55 yrs ago,
who now knows how to smile, giggle, caring,
kind, responsible, understanding, and so much
more to enjoy life free and not under the
influence of a controlled substance or poison.
There are promises granted to us in recovery
that will come true and materialize as we
continue on our journey in recovery learning
to remain sober each day and passing on our
knowledge to the newcomer struggling with
addiction the same as we had.
alcohol and my life had become unmanageable
in the first 28 days in rehab. Then I had to
become willing to listen, learn, absorb and
apply what I was being taught about my
addiction and its affects on my mind, body
and soul and those around me.
I had to quickly learn to remove any notions
that I could drink successfully down the road.
That I could control my drinking. If I had tried
countless times before to control or manage
my drinking skills and failed so many times,
then it will never work a week from now, a
month from now, a yr. from now, and certainly
not 23 yrs sober now.
It just aint gonna happen. EVER.
I wanted what so many had that learned
how to stay sober for a many one days at
a time to get them where they are today.
Happiness, healthiness, honestly, freedom.
I wanted that more than anything and it
wasn't gonna happen over night like so
many of us wish it would be.
The steps in my program allowed me to
work thru all wreakage I caused in past,
work to clear the clutter I accumulated
in my life over the yrs.. All the baggage
and heavy crosses I had been carrying on
my shoulders.
Each step I work thru allowed the layers
of my past life to slip away, fall off to unveil
the true me. The little girl born 55 yrs ago,
who now knows how to smile, giggle, caring,
kind, responsible, understanding, and so much
more to enjoy life free and not under the
influence of a controlled substance or poison.
There are promises granted to us in recovery
that will come true and materialize as we
continue on our journey in recovery learning
to remain sober each day and passing on our
knowledge to the newcomer struggling with
addiction the same as we had.
I finally had to admit that alcohol had me beat. It beat me down for a long time before it took over my life. But, by then I was a full blown drunk. Couldn't live with it and couldn't live without it. I was in a terrible place.
I finally found AA and this place where there are others like me.
I wish you the best on your new start. I can't have one drink, I have to remember that always. Best to you.
I finally found AA and this place where there are others like me.
I wish you the best on your new start. I can't have one drink, I have to remember that always. Best to you.
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