Talk me off this ledge/rant
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Talk me off this ledge/rant
Ok, backstory. My axb's brother has a pregnant girlfriend. Her mom just sent me an invite to the baby shower- in another state, thoughtfully including an address to send a gift if I'm not attending in person.
I have this insane urge to call the RSVP number and warn them about what their daughter is getting involved with here. Axb's brother had a DUI last Xmastime and is a binge drinker/pill head. The whole extended family is rife with alcoholics, addicts and Codie's, which probably means this girl comes from a similar background and wouldn't heed any warnings anyway. I just see myself six years ago, an expectant mother with no idea what I was in for.
Also tempted to tear axb's mom a new one for giving out my address to people I've never met and to tell her that her deadbeat son hasn't sent one penny of child support so even if I wanted to send a gift, doing so would take food out of my children's mouths.
Rant complete. Time to read some Alanon literature and throw out the invite card so I can't call the RSVP number and make an @$$ out of myself.
I have this insane urge to call the RSVP number and warn them about what their daughter is getting involved with here. Axb's brother had a DUI last Xmastime and is a binge drinker/pill head. The whole extended family is rife with alcoholics, addicts and Codie's, which probably means this girl comes from a similar background and wouldn't heed any warnings anyway. I just see myself six years ago, an expectant mother with no idea what I was in for.
Also tempted to tear axb's mom a new one for giving out my address to people I've never met and to tell her that her deadbeat son hasn't sent one penny of child support so even if I wanted to send a gift, doing so would take food out of my children's mouths.
Rant complete. Time to read some Alanon literature and throw out the invite card so I can't call the RSVP number and make an @$$ out of myself.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
I would suggest eating the number. in my heyday, I would have thrown it away only to dwell upon the trashcan, obsess like crazy, and finally go dig it out of trash and proceed with my master plan of mayhem.
stay focused.....you can do this.
and ain't it grand to have a place to vent instead of re-acting?
stay focused.....you can do this.
and ain't it grand to have a place to vent instead of re-acting?
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
How about a copy of:
(wait for it)
How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics: Al-Anon Family Groups: 9780910034265: Amazon.com: Books
I mean for a like a baby shower gift, that is.
(wait for it)
How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics: Al-Anon Family Groups: 9780910034265: Amazon.com: Books
I mean for a like a baby shower gift, that is.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
I threw it in the gross kitchen garbage and took the bag out. LOL.
Will avoid talking to axb's mom when ds5 does his weekly phone call today. I already sent some old Forum mags along with the Mother's Day package- some of ds5's school papers and artwork with a card.
I know she did it because she still considers me part of the family b/c I don't do stuff like I was contemplating earlier. I work hard to be cordial and keep her in contact with her grandson.
The whole thing just really chapped my butt for some reason.
Will avoid talking to axb's mom when ds5 does his weekly phone call today. I already sent some old Forum mags along with the Mother's Day package- some of ds5's school papers and artwork with a card.
I know she did it because she still considers me part of the family b/c I don't do stuff like I was contemplating earlier. I work hard to be cordial and keep her in contact with her grandson.
The whole thing just really chapped my butt for some reason.
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Originally Posted by ladyscribbler 
Lol Hammer. My group gives a free copy of that to every newcomer. Time to dig mine out.
===============
Grappling with my own "guilty conscience" activity of trying to buy absolution for being crooked. I have been stuffing $20 bills in the basket and buying books for newbies for the last year.
I have a bunch of free shipping coming in a contract I am doing. Just have to keep my crookedness out. I could get a stack of them and just leave them as as a "Take One" pile in the middle of the Alanon table.
Had to deal with that as part of my 4th through 9th Step, and apologized to my group (and it was a FULL HOUSE that night -- 25 or more people. Not a chair left.) for being an ass and using (yeah using) them and the donation basket to feel better about me being a crook.
But on a good note, one lady I had bought a book for came and let me know how it had helped her. She was broke at the time at the time, and it made her feel so welcome, that was why she stayed in has been doing Alanon.
Anyway -- The IRS (God's Agent in this case) finally put the smack down on me sending me a $202 Million Dollar fine. (total error, I really owe nothing). Every time I try to deal with the agents on it, they all just start laughing and get everyone in the office to come look and they all laugh, too.
Just God's way of letting me know I will not "buy" my salvation by works. Cannot pay such a debt and fine. Only by grace, and my Jackass God will have everyone laughing all the way.
That is my life. Everyone is always laughing at me when I am in some crisis.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
It is my understanding that when you are invited to out of town events (wedding/shower/etc) and you are NOT attending, then you are NOT required to send a gift. It is rude of ex's mom to imply that you need to send a gift to an out of town event you will not be attending.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Originally Posted by MissFixit
It is my understanding that when you are invited to out of town events (wedding/shower/etc) and you are NOT attending, then you are NOT required to send a gift. It is rude of ex's mom to imply that you need to send a gift to an out of town event you will not be attending.
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Originally Posted by ladyscribbler
Yeah, pretty sure dear Abby would have some choice words about this situation. Like I said, I don't think the intention was to panhandle for gifts so much as to make me feel included. Plus I think they are trying to impress this girl and her family b/c she is worried about losing easy access to yet another grandchild if this poor girl figures out what a bunch of loonies her bf and his family are.
I watch AWtf's mom go through this type nonsense.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
ladyscribbler.....Look at it this way....you have resisted the temptation to buy another ticket on the crazy train. You know the train....the one that travels to Dysfunction Junction.
Good for you.
dandylion
Good for you.
dandylion
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Originally Posted by anykey
Why do you owe her or anyone a gift?
People should give gifts because they want to - and for no reason. Not because they have to.
PS- you are in another state- I would not worry about your address being gave out.
People should give gifts because they want to - and for no reason. Not because they have to.
PS- you are in another state- I would not worry about your address being gave out.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Originally Posted by dandylion
ladyscribbler.....Look at it this way....you have resisted the temptation to buy another ticket on the crazy train. You know the train....the one that travels to Dysfunction Junction.
Good for you.
dandylion
Good for you.
dandylion
Phone call went off without a hitch. DS5 talked to grandma and I steered clear. She'll get those Forums for her Mother's Day gift. Funny that I'd already mailed that before this invite showed up. Maybe she'll actually read them. I sent her some brochures from the Newcomers packet for Valentine's day. Just sharing the priceless gift of serenity.
At least this girl has family in town for when things go pear shaped, so she's already in a better situation than I was. Sigh. And the cycle begins again with a new generation.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
No offense, but that made me laugh too. Did you have a heart attack when you read the IRS letter?
Originally Posted by Hammer
wow. THAT is a Great Idea. Especially with all the cheap ones with combined shipping on Amazon, etc.
===============
Grappling with my own "guilty conscience" activity of trying to buy absolution for being crooked. I have been stuffing $20 bills in the basket and buying books for newbies for the last year.
I have a bunch of free shipping coming in a contract I am doing. Just have to keep my crookedness out. I could get a stack of them and just leave them as as a "Take One" pile in the middle of the Alanon table.
Had to deal with that as part of my 4th through 9th Step, and apologized to my group (and it was a FULL HOUSE that night -- 25 or more people. Not a chair left.) for being an ass and using (yeah using) them and the donation basket to feel better about me being a crook.
But on a good note, one lady I had bought a book for came and let me know how it had helped her. She was broke at the time at the time, and it made her feel so welcome, that was why she stayed in has been doing Alanon.
Anyway -- The IRS (God's Agent in this case) finally put the smack down on me sending me a $202 Million Dollar fine. (total error, I really owe nothing). Every time I try to deal with the agents on it, they all just start laughing and get everyone in the office to come look and they all laugh, too.
Just God's way of letting me know I will not "buy" my salvation by works. Cannot pay such a debt and fine. Only by grace, and my Jackass God will have everyone laughing all the way.
That is my life. Everyone is always laughing at me when I am in some crisis.
===============
Grappling with my own "guilty conscience" activity of trying to buy absolution for being crooked. I have been stuffing $20 bills in the basket and buying books for newbies for the last year.
I have a bunch of free shipping coming in a contract I am doing. Just have to keep my crookedness out. I could get a stack of them and just leave them as as a "Take One" pile in the middle of the Alanon table.
Had to deal with that as part of my 4th through 9th Step, and apologized to my group (and it was a FULL HOUSE that night -- 25 or more people. Not a chair left.) for being an ass and using (yeah using) them and the donation basket to feel better about me being a crook.
But on a good note, one lady I had bought a book for came and let me know how it had helped her. She was broke at the time at the time, and it made her feel so welcome, that was why she stayed in has been doing Alanon.
Anyway -- The IRS (God's Agent in this case) finally put the smack down on me sending me a $202 Million Dollar fine. (total error, I really owe nothing). Every time I try to deal with the agents on it, they all just start laughing and get everyone in the office to come look and they all laugh, too.
Just God's way of letting me know I will not "buy" my salvation by works. Cannot pay such a debt and fine. Only by grace, and my Jackass God will have everyone laughing all the way.
That is my life. Everyone is always laughing at me when I am in some crisis.
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Actually I laughed, too.
It was from a 1099 that some knuckle-heads that I worked with sent it. The 1099 was listed as a Rent Income of $423 Million. Nine digits -- there are only 9 digits that can be filled in -- else it would have likely been in the $ Billions. I think their CPA fell asleep on the keyboard.
The Automated (yeah, gee) Under-Reporting Unit got that and Automated a Tax Bill of $149 Million with Taxes and Fines included. I sent in an Appeal to the Tax Court, and they all laughed, too. They sent it back to the AUR office as a No-Go, to be deleted. Instead, the AUR folks added another year's fines and interest to bring it up to $202 Million.
Every layer I deal with all laugh and laugh and ask if I am having lunch with Bill Gates and Warren Buffet.
A good thing it is so crazy, or else it may look like I really owe something, but they have set it "live" for collections at one point, and still is not clear yet. Part of my 9th Step amends is do my taxes honest. But at this point they are advising me not to send anything in, as it will just make the mess bigger and bigger.
It was from a 1099 that some knuckle-heads that I worked with sent it. The 1099 was listed as a Rent Income of $423 Million. Nine digits -- there are only 9 digits that can be filled in -- else it would have likely been in the $ Billions. I think their CPA fell asleep on the keyboard.
The Automated (yeah, gee) Under-Reporting Unit got that and Automated a Tax Bill of $149 Million with Taxes and Fines included. I sent in an Appeal to the Tax Court, and they all laughed, too. They sent it back to the AUR office as a No-Go, to be deleted. Instead, the AUR folks added another year's fines and interest to bring it up to $202 Million.
Every layer I deal with all laugh and laugh and ask if I am having lunch with Bill Gates and Warren Buffet.
A good thing it is so crazy, or else it may look like I really owe something, but they have set it "live" for collections at one point, and still is not clear yet. Part of my 9th Step amends is do my taxes honest. But at this point they are advising me not to send anything in, as it will just make the mess bigger and bigger.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
*chuckle* Awesome job, Ladyscribbler!
So, if it makes you feel any better, the 'wedding of the century' in my family took place late last summer.
The groom got so drunk at the reception that his friends carried him home and put him to bed.
It is generally believed he was 'priming' before the wedding even began.
He was so hungover the next day that they almost missed their flight for their honeymoon.
No one in that branch of my family tree batted an eye at this because, well, the young woman's parents are alcoholics, her maternal grandparents and maternal great-grandparents are/were all alcoholics.
I never thought of sending literature, I don't think it would do this crowd much good at this point. *sigh*
So, if it makes you feel any better, the 'wedding of the century' in my family took place late last summer.
The groom got so drunk at the reception that his friends carried him home and put him to bed.
It is generally believed he was 'priming' before the wedding even began.
He was so hungover the next day that they almost missed their flight for their honeymoon.
No one in that branch of my family tree batted an eye at this because, well, the young woman's parents are alcoholics, her maternal grandparents and maternal great-grandparents are/were all alcoholics.
I never thought of sending literature, I don't think it would do this crowd much good at this point. *sigh*
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