Makrellen

Intense emotional pressure, anger, depression, sadness, tinnitus, stress

I really crave to just drink it all away and feel good today

I won't.. but the pressure/pain is unbearable

Water, water

SoberLeigh

(((((Makrellen))))). Things can be really tough in the beginning - a real and unsettling emotional roller coaster. It will get better but it takes time. If you find yourself deeply depressed, best to check in with your doctor.

Stay close to SR. There is always someone here. Congratulations on 7 days, Makrellen.

Makrellen

I think it's all the old problems resurfacing today.. Have been there before, also when I drank. Now I have no alcohol to remove them

Said to my doctor I want some therapy soon. I can only hope to get better

brazilian

It's tough. I crave too sometimes.

It will get better. Therapy will help.

Hang in there

biminiblue

I ate and slept a LOT in the first month.

The emotions are raw. It gets better. I just kept saying, "don't drink over it."

Like they say here, there is no problem that cannot be made worse by alcohol.

Verte

Hang in there Makrellen.

One breath at a time. Take big, deep, full breaths one after another. Be so gentle with yourself.

I almost 'lost it' vacuuming yesterday. Folding laundry and vacuuming? Who knew these activities would be so hard without alcohol. Not me. Surprise! One breath at a time.

Soberleigh is spot on. Check in with your doctor.

I do not know what the health system is like in Denmark...but maybe there is a supportive day program to consider??

Way to go for your day7!! Keep your eye on the prize

sugarbear1

go get something done you've put off or help someone with less time, somehow action helps to change mood

Makrellen

Yes, it helped a little bit to just go grocery shopping
Met a neighbour on stairs.. talking about helping him with his computer trouble
Venting frustration here probably also helps
And I took an extra pill.. I'm on Seroquel for mood stabilizer and calming me down
I'm slowly getting ok now.. thanks for support

EndGameNYC

What you describe, Mak, explains in part why so many of us have trouble staying sober in the beginning. But for me, rather than drink having "it all go away," it was like pouring gasoline on a burning house. As long as there was no smoke, no fire in my room, I felt safe and made myself oblivious with regard to the impending catastrophe. By the time I acknowledged that there was trouble, the walls were falling down all around me.

Anna

I'm glad that you're feeling better.

countrysidegirl

Hi mckrellen

I'm now a month sober , I did have a bad day last weds bought 5 pint cans and managed to throw them down the sink

What I wrote down on a piece of paper is this

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I BUY ALCOHOL AND DRINK IT .....

Once a can, bottle has been opened I get a taste my brain then remembers this and CRAVES MORE

I become horrid , I don't care about anything or anyone and do what ever I can to get money and buy more

This general horridness causes rows with my partner

Money is spent on what could have gone on other things like a bill, clothes, cinema, nice meal out, sports etc etc

My bpd and bipolar are made much worse

The following day I feel severely depressed almost suicidal sometimes

I have a banging headache and terrible thirst

I feel full of remorse and regret

money has gone

I'm tip toeing around my partner as he is annoyed at my behaviour

I feel fat

my son doesn't want to be anywhere near me

I spend the rest of the day in bed and miss doing things I desire to get done or programmes I wish to watch

SO DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DRINK ? ? ? ?

I got these photo copied and have them stuck around every room in the house I also have a piece of paper in which I write down how many days I have been sober

it is tough , it is hell sometimes but it honestly is worth the effort , alcohol will change your personality and take everything away from you

people are on here who don't have all the answers , neither do we alas have a magic pill which can remove the taste and desire but we do care

I wish you all the luck in the world

charlotte aka countrysidegirl xxx

DefconOne

Feel your pain. On Sundays I usually had a bad hangover. Today I didn't as I was sober last night. It felt good to get up this Sunday.. Not at all like Johnny's song...

And there ain't nothin' short of dyin'
Thats half as lonesome as the sound
Of a sleepin' city sidewalk
And Sunday mornin' comin' down

Johnny Cash - Sunday Morning Coming Down

Leshar

Hello Makrellen,

I hope you're feeling a bit better. There is no question, the recovery path is not for the faint of heart. For me, it's been agony sometimes. But, to quote the poet Robert Frost, "The best way out is always through".
Please hold on!
Wishing you the best.

Makrellen

Dreamt about beers this night
It's hard to realize that my former life with drinking buddies has to go
Or I need to find huge power, to hang out with them without drinking
And perhaps find other new buddies who don't drink..

weirdesttoner

Distract yourself and keep going strong! First week was hell in my head, in the 2nd week things started to get better for me. Many sober days!

About buddies, i dumped them all and i realised we weren't that close anyway. Kinda lonely now, but i-m slowly working on this.

EternalNow

Me too. But for me alcohol won't work anymore.

Makrellen

Yes, I also have my personal list with good things about not drinking and bad things about drinking. On the computer though, as I use the computer a lot
I read it once in a while when things are tough, it helps some