finally told
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Join Date: Sep 2013
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finally told
I posted here a little while ago asking you guys for advice if I should tell my dad or not and how heart broken he would be if I Did. Well last night after coming home a little drunk he came to my room to question me and I just couldn't lie any more and just broke down crying. I told him everything and said that I was so sorry and I didn't mean for any of this to happen. He was very supportive but I'm sure he's really stressed and heart broken. Now the morning after I have a huge amount of guilt and shame 
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Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
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That is a huge step, zoomi. Proud of you. It's really hard for people to understand the depth and complexity of alcoholism, and usually a losing battle to try to impress on them. Take it as a giant leap in your recovery and move forward!
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Nebraska
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Zoomi, how do you know he is stressed and heart broken? Just because that is the reaction you think he will have, doesn't mean that is true. You said he went into the room to question you, so I am sure he knows something is up.
I would try not to feel the guilt and shame you are feeling. It is better to be honest and you were, so good for! What a load off your shoulders.
As for Dad, he is older than you and I am willing to bet he has been around the block a few times. I doubt you surprised him with the admission as much as you think you did.
Wonderful that he is supportive. You are in a better position with his support than some.
Now work out a plan, together if needed, to get sober.
I would try not to feel the guilt and shame you are feeling. It is better to be honest and you were, so good for! What a load off your shoulders.
As for Dad, he is older than you and I am willing to bet he has been around the block a few times. I doubt you surprised him with the admission as much as you think you did.
Wonderful that he is supportive. You are in a better position with his support than some.
Now work out a plan, together if needed, to get sober.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
zoomi, deep down your dad probably knew you had a problem, so maybe it's somewhat of a relief to him that you've reached out for help and were honest with him. It's great your dad is supportive, he may not completely understand but he can still be a huge support. Keep talking honestly with him and put your plans to stay sober into action. This can be the turning point for you.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
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Proud of you zoomi. The shame and guilt comes with the territory. Whether or not it is warranted, we (me) tend to make things bigger than they really are sometimes.
I'm 50/50 on the take him to a meeting. I would first give him a chance to read some literature. AA has several pamphlets that are aimed toward your situation. Go through the rack and pick out a few for him to read. Get him learned up on alcoholism from reputable internet sources.
Then consider taking him to an open meeting. If he learns anything, it will be that your situation is not unique and that there are probably some that were in worse shape than you. This can give him a relief from knowing that you can take back control of your life.
Good luck.
PS if you have a big book, there are chapters specifically written for him. I'm sure the BB aficionados will be able to tell you about it.
I'm 50/50 on the take him to a meeting. I would first give him a chance to read some literature. AA has several pamphlets that are aimed toward your situation. Go through the rack and pick out a few for him to read. Get him learned up on alcoholism from reputable internet sources.
Then consider taking him to an open meeting. If he learns anything, it will be that your situation is not unique and that there are probably some that were in worse shape than you. This can give him a relief from knowing that you can take back control of your life.
Good luck.
PS if you have a big book, there are chapters specifically written for him. I'm sure the BB aficionados will be able to tell you about it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 113
does any one where suggest I tell my dad to go to Al anon ? what happens there i do not want him to get freaked out but he is so supportive its amazing. what happens at those meetings compared to normal a.a meetings?
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