Leana

How do you meet new non-addict friends? My 24 yr old daughter (6 months sober) left almost everyone of her friends behind when she got sober. The problem is that she is so lonely. I feel so bad for her, she just sits with her dad and I night after night. She tried one of those meet-up groups but found most of the groups were centered around happy hours or other bar related activities. She goes to AA meetings but hasn't clicked with anyone. Her work is mostly older married people. And most alumni activities related to her college involve drinking.

What did you do? Does anyone have any ideas I can give her for meeting new non-drinking friends?

Sulu1

Hi Leana.

I can't really give you advice but I just wanted to let you know I will be following this thread because I'm in the same position. I'm 22 and find it really difficult to meet new people who actually want to do things that don't involve drinking from time to time.

MrG

Tetra

I really feel for your daughter. I am 33 and live with my parents. I am also 6 months sober and also find myself sitting in with them most nights.

I do have a few close friends and I am going to stay with one of them for the weekend so that will be a nice break.

I have started doing volunteer work with meals on wheels and I have met some new people through that.

Nuudawn

Curiosity got me. I'm well over 30. Although I think it is likely more difficult under 30...sobriety is just generally lonely business for the first great while. Perhaps she could take a class ...learn something new to fill her time. Maybe a new language or pottery. Most of us don't have a clue what to do with ourselves when we first sober up..and few of us have too many non problem drinking friends.

PurpleKnight

I'm 31 yrs old, but I became Sober off and on in my late twenties and now eventually have achieving my longest stretch when I turned 30 yrs old.

At the start it was tough, I live on my own, so basically sat in for about 3 months, did nothing, didn't see many people, went to work, didn't drink, went to bed, and played large volumes of online games (online scrabble was my personal favourite )

But after a while I started to do things, I'm a big sports fan and so that was an interest I could get back into, without the alcohol of course, sport always come with a fan community, so meeting and interacting with people happening once again, after I managed to control the not drinking part, meeting people, going to games, involved on online forums etc.

The other thing I realised after about 3 months in, was I could go and visit family members that I hadn't seen in ages, at weekends I'd just show up at aunts/uncles/cousins, pass a few hours, many cups of tea and it felt really good, but I then started to be invited to things my cousins (those that were in my age range) were going to, things like quizzes, 5 aside football, fishing etc, and so through that I started to meet a lot of their friends that I had never met in my life before, my social circle started to expand as a result, and none of it revolved around alcohol.

After a while I did then start to build up the strength to attend events that did have alcohol at them, things like birthday parties, charity nights etc, but that comes with an element of risk with alcohol involved, so it depends on the person, again I found them quite easy to meet people, plenty of people to chat to, a lot of these events though were local community events and I found out there are always things going on, things that I used to never get involved in as I was getting drunk, but I've met loads of people I never knew before through them.

The thing I realised is, other people at these things are also looking to meet people, it just takes one person to start the conversation!!

StayStrong33

I'm 25. It's not much but I would suggest adult sports leagues, group fitness classes at a gym, volunteering, or maybe finding a spiritual life group of her choice. Personally, group fitness has helped me find people who care about their bodies and what they put in them. It may be hard to find someone who absolutely doesn't drink but I think she'll meet ppl who are interested in doing other things besides drinking.