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Alcohol Withdrawal and Working

Old 05-01-2014, 09:37 PM
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Alcohol Withdrawal and Working

I have this really great friend. I told him before we worked together that I'm an alcoholic. He said "get help man" so I did. Later, I got a job with him (this was in January) and obviously I fell off the wagon and had alcohol issues since then.

He is basically my boss, but it's informal. Well, last week I took three days off work. One of those nights I got extremely intoxicated and had a very bad night. I won't bother with the details. The next day I took off because I was too hungover to go to work. I realized I had fallen off, so I got more meds and detoxed again. The third day (friday), I took off because withdrawal was really bad.

I go back into work this Monday (sober), and he asked what happened. I told him I fell off into drinking again. He simply looked at me and asked: "did you get it taken care of?". I said "yep". He said: "Good. Don't worry about charging this as vacation. Just take them as sick days. And no more eating at Joe Bucks."

I put this long story on here because it's amazing how much people have to complain about other people. I've known this guy for a year and a half (not long), and he's been totally understanding about everything. I'm not saying people should run and tell their bosses that they are alcoholics, but I AM saying that not everyone alienates you because of it.
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Old 05-01-2014, 09:38 PM
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I don't even know why I posted this. I just always feel ashamed to be an alcoholic, and it's similar to AA in that I don't have to hide it from him. I guess this is me telling the world about him "anonymously".
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Old 05-01-2014, 09:40 PM
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I'm really glad you have such an understanding boss Justin

D
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Old 05-01-2014, 09:56 PM
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It's nice to have someone supportive who isn't judgmental.
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Old 05-01-2014, 10:27 PM
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Originally Posted by justinJustQuit View Post
I go back into work this Monday (sober), and he asked what happened. I told him I fell off into drinking again. He simply looked at me and asked: "did you get it taken care of?". I said "yep". He said: "Good. Don't worry about charging this as vacation. Just take them as sick days. And no more eating at Joe Bucks."
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I think you are exceptionally lucky to have this friend.

I understand how hard staying sober can be, for sure. Can I ask if you are committed to this and what are you doing/changing to make sure it doesn't happen again?

I only ask as you say you've had issues since January, and we are now in May. I think it's dangerous to not start addressing why this keeps happening?

Please give his gesture of friendship and your sobriety, the respect and attention it deserves. In tough economic times as well, to be without a job, a reference and a good friend is a very big risk to take.

But I'm sure you know that, right?
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Old 05-01-2014, 10:31 PM
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How ironic! I'm reading ch "to employers" right now! I would be on my knees a lot to have an employer as you have that is understanding. Never lost a job coz of booze but the isms sure did put a number on me. There's no problem if joined aa if feel twill help you not only keep job but overall improve life beyond what could have ever imagined
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Old 05-02-2014, 04:23 AM
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Croissant, basically I thought I could it without counseling and I thought I could do it being around alcohol. I am attending AA, using this site, and going to therapy. And of course I'm not around alcohol anymore.

I've been largely sober since January. I think I've drank maybe 12 days since January, so I'm making good solid progress. Its much better than only being able to stay sober for maybe 4 days.
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Old 05-02-2014, 06:35 AM
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Yes, Justin, fair enough. I guess I'm looking at it not as a test run, but as a commitment....and asking yourself why it keeps happening.

Going to AA, therapy etc doesn't magically get someone sober (and please....I am not saying you aren't trying)...my question/comment is; unless you address those triggers for those 12 days...where will you be in the future?

That's the hard part of being sober....it's not just about not drinking.

My comments and questions are not meant as harsh, it's coming from someone who has also slipped, and it's not until you peel back the layers of the why...that you get to the heart of your problem.

You have a lot at stake here, as I say. Please don't take the gift of your friends loyalty for granted.
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Old 05-02-2014, 06:43 AM
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Um, I don't take it for granted... I was simply saying he's a nice guy for getting it. I dont believe one screw up is taking advantage.

And as far as realizing what makes me drink, I know that answer and its been addressed.
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Old 05-02-2014, 06:47 AM
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The answer is generally anger. Between that and depression coming off benzos (only for withdrawal prescribed by a Dr), it makes me depressed. The issues I just listed are being taken care of by therapy and self realizing why I get mad and drink.

What's different this time is I am already off benzos. I took half the normal detox dose and detoxed rapidly. My depression hit three days ago instead of what normally would have been around day 7. I woke up feeling great, and ready to write some software!
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Old 05-02-2014, 07:10 AM
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Originally Posted by gettingbetter64 View Post
It's nice to have someone supportive who isn't judgmental.
Amen to that!
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Old 05-02-2014, 07:34 AM
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Originally Posted by justinJustQuit View Post
Um, I don't take it for granted... I was simply saying he's a nice guy for getting it. I dont believe one screw up is taking advantage.

And as far as realizing what makes me drink, I know that answer and its been addressed.
Thanks, I tried to explain twice nicely where I was coming from. I did not ask for an explanation, nor did I say you were taking advantage. I apologise, sincerely that you reacted badly to what I said.

My understanding (and again I could be misinterpreting)...was you said you'd slipped 12 times since January when he assisted you with employment. I think he's an angel and merely was saying and encouraging you to identify what might be your triggers whilst you still have a job and a generous friend.

The title of your thread is alcohol withdrawal and working...so I assumed avoiding withdrawal was the aim. Hence why I asked what you were doing to address the slips, so I could suggest some options.

It's nice when we get forgiveness, no doubt. It's also good to address why we keep choosing alcohol to deal with issues.
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Old 05-02-2014, 07:55 AM
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This was the first time I missed work because of alcohol.

Just a misunderstanding. Nothing to worry about!
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