Is it normal for an addict to binge before starting treatment?
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 16
Is it normal for an addict to binge before starting treatment?
Hi...
I've been reading here for a while and have gotten a lot of great info from reading all the posts here, but haven't posted yet.
Long story short...my husband is an alcoholic and is currently addicted to hydrocodone. He's battled with the drinking problem for much of our marriage (almost 6 years) and for the most part has managed to keep it at the "functional" (if you can call it that) level.
We've seen a counselor about the drinking and he would go periods where he would abstain completely. We have 2 young children (4 and 1.5) and he has a stable job. This year the drinking has gotten worse and a new problem has emerged.
He's always had a prescription for norco and would take them recreationally to give him a boost of energy and for pain from an old knee injury. In November he confessed to me that he was worried about his pill usage. He told me that he was crushing and snorting his norcos and taking them every day and thinking about them frequently.
Since his confession my eyes have been opened to the severity of his problem. He has scripts from multiple doctors and has been very dishonest with me about his usage. He wavers between admitting he has a problem he needs help with and not being willing to give up his pills.
Right now I have his pills. The only reason I agreed to keep them was because he contacted an addiction specialist who has an outpatient program which he will start Wednesday and he told me that he can't control the quantity he takes and wants to make sure he only takes a few a day until he starts the program. However, I learned today that he has filled 2 other prescriptions since handing his bottle of 120 pills over to me. He's also been drinking a lot each night.
I guess I'm wondering if this is normal behavior for someone about to give up their precious pills and booze, or if this is a sign that he's really not ready to get better.
My heart wants to believe he's ready to deal with his addiction, but my head doesn't think he is.
I've been reading here for a while and have gotten a lot of great info from reading all the posts here, but haven't posted yet.
Long story short...my husband is an alcoholic and is currently addicted to hydrocodone. He's battled with the drinking problem for much of our marriage (almost 6 years) and for the most part has managed to keep it at the "functional" (if you can call it that) level.
We've seen a counselor about the drinking and he would go periods where he would abstain completely. We have 2 young children (4 and 1.5) and he has a stable job. This year the drinking has gotten worse and a new problem has emerged.
He's always had a prescription for norco and would take them recreationally to give him a boost of energy and for pain from an old knee injury. In November he confessed to me that he was worried about his pill usage. He told me that he was crushing and snorting his norcos and taking them every day and thinking about them frequently.
Since his confession my eyes have been opened to the severity of his problem. He has scripts from multiple doctors and has been very dishonest with me about his usage. He wavers between admitting he has a problem he needs help with and not being willing to give up his pills.
Right now I have his pills. The only reason I agreed to keep them was because he contacted an addiction specialist who has an outpatient program which he will start Wednesday and he told me that he can't control the quantity he takes and wants to make sure he only takes a few a day until he starts the program. However, I learned today that he has filled 2 other prescriptions since handing his bottle of 120 pills over to me. He's also been drinking a lot each night.
I guess I'm wondering if this is normal behavior for someone about to give up their precious pills and booze, or if this is a sign that he's really not ready to get better.
My heart wants to believe he's ready to deal with his addiction, but my head doesn't think he is.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
I can't speak for anyone else, but the night I decided to check myself into detox, I tried to drink everything I had in the house. A friend was on his way from across town to take me to the detox facility, and while waiting, I had a bloody mary, a Capt. Morgan and Coke, and a gin and tonic. I guess it was my way of saying goodbye to booze.
I did check into detox that night and stayed for 6 days, then did 4 weeks of IOP. I had one relapse after that which lasted one day, but that's all. Next month, I'll have six years of sobriety. So, binge drinking that night didn't mean I wasn't ready to quit. I hope it's the same for your husband. (((HUGS)))
I did check into detox that night and stayed for 6 days, then did 4 weeks of IOP. I had one relapse after that which lasted one day, but that's all. Next month, I'll have six years of sobriety. So, binge drinking that night didn't mean I wasn't ready to quit. I hope it's the same for your husband. (((HUGS)))
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,781
I went to detox three times. Each time I drank a lot before going. I finally had enough and quit for good, over four years ago. I hope the best for you and your husband.
Welcome to the family.
Welcome to the family.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
The fact that he has confessed to his usage and agreeing to get help is a good sign.
It is normal to binge before detox. I have heard about it many times. The fact that he filled other scripts could mean he is in a panic. If I was out of booze or close to being out I would panic. I would be finding every way I could think of to get it. He is uncomfortable not having his supply near him.
If he has been taking more than he should and snorting then he has been doing it for some time. He just does not want you to see how much he is taking and he can’t ask you every hour for more and more. I would just let him be until Wednesday. I know that is hard to do but it is the best way to handle it for now.
It is normal to binge before detox. I have heard about it many times. The fact that he filled other scripts could mean he is in a panic. If I was out of booze or close to being out I would panic. I would be finding every way I could think of to get it. He is uncomfortable not having his supply near him.
If he has been taking more than he should and snorting then he has been doing it for some time. He just does not want you to see how much he is taking and he can’t ask you every hour for more and more. I would just let him be until Wednesday. I know that is hard to do but it is the best way to handle it for now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 458
It is normal. I have a suggestion. Get a bank box- and put the meds there. Allow out only what you need for x amount of days.
No one should be snorting that stuff. The tylenol in it- is dangerous to snort.
So- lets say he runs out- (pick a bank with short hours) most likely it will be after the bank closes. Then the blame is on the bank and not on you. He will agree- so he agrees that he will only use as prescribed.
No one should be snorting that stuff. The tylenol in it- is dangerous to snort.
So- lets say he runs out- (pick a bank with short hours) most likely it will be after the bank closes. Then the blame is on the bank and not on you. He will agree- so he agrees that he will only use as prescribed.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 16
Thank you all for your responses. Nothing about addiction makes sense to me, so his actions all seem totally insane.
He ended up coming home last night with a big bouquet of flowers, 2 bottles of wine and confessed that he was late bringing home dinner because he wanted to have a few beers and watch the game after he picked up our dinner. (He had sent me a text earlier saying he was going to be late because he ran into an old colleague). I guess he felt guilty so when I asked about said colleague he told me the truth.
I didn't bring up the fact that I knew about his extra pills, nor did I give him a hard time about the alcohol. This morning I gave him back his pills and told him I loved him and knew about the extras. I said I was keeping them for his benefit, not mine so I didn't see the point in keeping them anymore. He said he figured I knew, but didn't say much more.
At this point, I've made peace with the fact that I have no control over the choices he makes. I'm scared he won't choose to get better and I will have to decide whether I want to stay or go, but I've stopped worrying about whether he uses or not. My biggest worry these days is not about him dying but more about having to share custody of my kids with and addict who does a very good job hiding his addiction publicly.
I do think I need to stop counting his pills. I know he's taking between 6 and 10 10/325s a day (that I'm aware of) and I've gotten a little obsessive about counting his pills and checking his hiding spots. It's weird, but it makes me feel more in control when I have an idea of how much he's taking.
This is absolutely not something I ever thought I would have to deal with...
He ended up coming home last night with a big bouquet of flowers, 2 bottles of wine and confessed that he was late bringing home dinner because he wanted to have a few beers and watch the game after he picked up our dinner. (He had sent me a text earlier saying he was going to be late because he ran into an old colleague). I guess he felt guilty so when I asked about said colleague he told me the truth.
I didn't bring up the fact that I knew about his extra pills, nor did I give him a hard time about the alcohol. This morning I gave him back his pills and told him I loved him and knew about the extras. I said I was keeping them for his benefit, not mine so I didn't see the point in keeping them anymore. He said he figured I knew, but didn't say much more.
At this point, I've made peace with the fact that I have no control over the choices he makes. I'm scared he won't choose to get better and I will have to decide whether I want to stay or go, but I've stopped worrying about whether he uses or not. My biggest worry these days is not about him dying but more about having to share custody of my kids with and addict who does a very good job hiding his addiction publicly.
I do think I need to stop counting his pills. I know he's taking between 6 and 10 10/325s a day (that I'm aware of) and I've gotten a little obsessive about counting his pills and checking his hiding spots. It's weird, but it makes me feel more in control when I have an idea of how much he's taking.
This is absolutely not something I ever thought I would have to deal with...
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 458
I am allowed 4 vicodin. 5 mg tablets a day. If I ask for more then this the Dr will send me to a pain management clinic. I do not like to leave the house- so I wont ask for more.
His dosage seems high for an old injury.
His dosage seems high for an old injury.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 16
He's only prescribed 2 a day, which is up from 1 5/500 a year ago. He doesn't really even need it. He has different scripts from different docs which is how he has so many and he has friends he can get them from.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 845
Maybe the more important question is what's *acceptable* for you? His normal might not be acceptable in your life. I hope things will turn around during his treatment and that he will embrace recovery. Maybe that will be a good time for you to think about what you are and aren't willing to accept in your life re: drug abuse?
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Hmmmmmmmmm. Very interesting. There were a lot of wasted people coming into rehab with me. I, on the other hand, did not have a drop on the day I checked in. It is far to expensive to waste an entire day in rehab wasted and not learning anything. Maybe I'm not the one who is normal........
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Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by happymama22 
I learned today that he has filled 2 other prescriptions since handing his bottle of 120 pills over to me.
He's also been drinking a lot each night.
I guess I'm wondering if this is normal behavior for someone about to give up their precious pills and booze
I think that I almost killed myself the night before
trying to finish off my keg of beer while washing down handfuls of Valium
when they drew blood at the treatment center (which most all do)
the head doctor called me in for a talk
he said that I was very toxic
and they would have to wean me off of everything or I could die
the good news
I stayed sober just two weeks short of three years after that
then deceived myself again
sober now 6 years -- thank you God -- for this truly is the better life
the life that I always wished for
MM
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 16
I guess I got my answer about whether he's ready or not...
He just emailed me to tell me that he can't start the outpatient program until June because his first visit would have to take place during his work day and therefore he needs to wait until the school year is over.
I don't know where we go from here. I don't feel like leaving is an option. Our kids are young and the thought of shared custody terrifies me. He's usually a wonderful father but I don't trust him. At least when I'm there I knows kids are safe. Plus, I obviously love this man.
He just emailed me to tell me that he can't start the outpatient program until June because his first visit would have to take place during his work day and therefore he needs to wait until the school year is over.
I don't know where we go from here. I don't feel like leaving is an option. Our kids are young and the thought of shared custody terrifies me. He's usually a wonderful father but I don't trust him. At least when I'm there I knows kids are safe. Plus, I obviously love this man.
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