13unluckyforsom

It's begun - 'wouldn't it be nice to have a cold glass of wine and unwind' and 'hey you could have a drink while you finish doing the work in the living room' oh for crying out LOUD.... Yes it would be nice if I was normal and sensible but I'm not. It's Wednesday for flips sake lol and this started yesterday! It's almost like I'm predicting my demise. Why would I do this...

Dee74

Thoughts are thoughts. It's what we do in response to those thoughts that counts

You have several days to work out a foolproof plan to stay sober this weekend 13

D

13unluckyforsom

This is where it gets worse - I then start contemplating if I smoke some cannabis it's not alcohol.. right?!!

Such is my desire to get away from feeling all the feelings that anything will do.

heath480

You still have the obsession of the mind, if you are thinking about drinking Alcohol at the weekend,we are still 2days away from it!

The good news is you don't have to act on the thoughts.

13unluckyforsom

I know Dee - it's as hard or as easy as I make it. I'd like to get drunk like a normal person and enjoy it. That's short lived once I start though. I have about an hour of happy. It's never worth it in the end. Deep breath lol I can do this - I was doing it for ages - I'm on this learning curve again - I learned how to be sober with someone and now I have to learn to do it by myself.

Dee74

It takes a little while to get used to feeling again.
It's uncomfortable for sure...but stick with it - it gets easier 13

D

least

You do not have to turn those thoughts into actions. Don't dwell on them. Focus on your goals in sobriety.

Anna

I think that the only way to ease up the AV is to just hear it and let it go.

It was actually amazing to me to find that my emotions didn't control me, which was what I had always believed.

13unluckyforsom

I have a highly addictive personality - it can be great for projects and for keeping going but on the flip side I have this lol the destructive behaviours it attaches to

doggonecarl

Go back and read your posts of a week ago. Sobriety was a clear goal then. Squelch the thoughts of drinking now. And learn to say NO. It's the only way to get past the weekend. By you deciding that you are not going to drink.

13unluckyforsom

I'm starting to understand that Anna - I'm nowhere near professional at it but I've managed to put a limit on how far I allow myself to go with things now. I allow myself to feel things but I don't let it consume me these days. I used to feel like a bit of paper being whipped around and tossed against walls and battered back to the ground and it was all consuming - I literally felt dizzy and verging on insane with it at times but it's more manageable now if I just recognise that yes I'm sad and that's normal but then spin the positives and dry my eyes etc.

I need to figure out how to do this with substance abuse. I say substance as I'd lick candle wax if someone said it'd get me high lol

13unluckyforsom

I know - I don't have to dance with the devil. I won't because I quite honestly can't go back to the person I was a year ago. That was a shell of a person.

Hmm play the record huh

LadyinBC

Because you're an alcoholic. We do plan our relapses and basically set ourselves up for one. I did it to myself over and over again. Would even put myself in situations that would trigger me. A lot of times we are not aware that we do it, but we do.

Changing my mindset was the #1 thing I had to do in recovery. Not easy to do, but it does get easier as time goes on.

13unluckyforsom

Yep this is the thing - it really doesn't matter how good or bad life is - if your an alcoholic any reason is reason.

Is it a self control thing? Would any of you say that you do other things in excess in your life apart from alcohol?

LadyinBC

Taking that first drink is definitely a choice. Which is self control. After that first drink, I know I am not going to stop. I don't romance that one drink or how I can have it because I don't want just one, I want to get drunk.

I also have a fear that if I did go back to it, it would kill me because I wouldn't beable to stop. I don't think I could recover again if I had another relapse. That is one thing that does keep me going.

tornrealization

I like the play the tape method. What will really happen after you take that romantic first drink?

I did on Saturday and well -

Pukes and a horrible hangover later while trying to do a 5K Sunday, I should've stuck to my plan to get out of the house and visit the City for a long day out walking.

You can do this - tell your AV I'm NOT listening!

As they say, play the tape - what will really happen.

What is something you can do this weekend that you think you'd like? Try something new/interesting? A new long walk in a park? A new restaurant? Call a friend or family member you haven't seen in a long time?

13unluckyforsom

I had been thinking of going on a day trip by myself somewhere - I'm trying to get comfortable in my own skin right now (28 and I'm just figuring out I need only love and accept myself lol) so I might still do this but the weather's turned a bit on the wild side so it's a maybe for now.

If not that I have to do something outwith my house - I've decorating in the process but I'm fed up looking at it right now.

Ruby2

There is a weekender thread for support and sharing that should be coming on in a few hours. Be on the lookout for that. I go there on the weekend. I also make sober plans for the weekend in advance. thoughts are only that. you dont need to act on them.

tornrealization

I'll check it out.

Ruby2

Weekend thread not up quite yet. It will be there. Please do join us!