Hammer

He's Counting Down From 21, And By The Time He Reaches 15, My Stomach Is In Knots

FireSprite

Wow. That brought me to tears.

chicory

Heartache, heartache, heartache.

embraced2000

that guy knows what he is talking about. too bad he had to live it in order to learn it.

felt kind of embarrassed watching it...strange reaction on my part.

felt like I was window peeping into someones wounded spirit.

God. I hate this addiction.

Thumper

I felt fear, such heart ache, and deep regret at some of the choices I can't un-make.

Addiction is never satisfied. It wants everyone. It lurks and waits patiently generation after generation.

LightInside

Had me bawlin'. Today is my son's second birthday and I wonder what he will have to say about his dad in 19 years.

ResignedToWait

Hammer, I have been meaning to ask you, what does the tf after AW mean that you've been using recently?

atalose

His mother has to clean up his father’s vomit in the middle of the night then cook’s breakfast in the morning like she’s not lost her appetite.

He hasn’t brought a friend home in 4 years.

A very honest look at how the un-normal begins to become just normal – in the home of alcoholics and codependents and what the children grow up with.

Very sad so very sad.....

jacrazz

^^facts!!

inpieces314

I am glad that I will not have to deal with this after what just happened to me. I think that is the only good thing, but it is a substantial one.

My mom never had anything nice to say about her dad, ever. He started drinking when she was 8 and quit 30-something years later. He died 4 years sober, and that is a wonderful thing, but their relationship was too far gone by then. She never recovered. She kept telling me he talked to her like she was a kid, and I kept telling her that she was, in his head, from when he started drinking. He lost 30-something years.

It really makes you wonder. Their behavior will hurt people for decades to come, even if they stop now. And not just any addicts, just people in general. Actions have consequences, and sometimes they last forever. This poor kid is never going to get over what his dad did, ever. How can he? He's seen some f-ed up s*** that no kid should ever see.

It's not anyone's fault, per se, parents believe that they should be together for the children, better or worse, etc. I have been there myself. As much pain as I personally feel right now, I thank God for taking the ABF when he did, before he did serious damage to the kids as well as what he has already done to me. Because having my kids grow up like that is something I will not tolerate.

Psalm5110

That just broke my heart. Until recently, I wanted my two-year old and the little one on the way to be that. Just. Like. Daddy.

That will not be their life. I. Will. Not. Allow. It.

Hammer

And the daughters, too . . . .

Minnesota Teen Wows With Original Song - Los Angeles Local News | FOX 11 LA KTTV

Hammer

Sort of new label that seems to fit better than "Mrs. Hammer," as she is now representing herself as a "divorced single mother" . . . .

You know what "A" is.

You know what "W" is.

You may know "wtf" is.

Seemed they just all go together.

Thumper

One of the turning points for me was watching my boys follow their dad around the yard mowing behind him with their little toy mowers. They mow, stop at the cooler for their pretend beers, mow some more, stop again. It was such a strong visual of seeing them follow in his foot steps. It was a snapshot of my ex following in his dad's footsteps and then his sons following in his. It was jolting and heartbreaking. It was a reflection of me living inside a dysfunctional marriage - just like my mother did, and her mother before her.

Raider

Oh dang. Ouch!

SeriousKarma

First of all, thank you Hammer, for ruining my make-up. The flood gates were open before he reached 19. But it was a good cry. The more young people feel free to speak out about this the more they'll realize they're not alone, and as we all know, that's a big part of recovery.

Inpieces, this quote reminds me of my teenage daughter. Her relationship with her father is strained and distant. I won't go into details just incase she ever wants to join this site (Hi Honey!), but I think it's interesting that one of her irritants was that he "spoke to her like she was a kid". That always made me sad for him. It's interesting hearing of someone else having the same experience.

inpieces314

Psychologically, it makes sense, and I bet it's actually quite common. People probably can't put a finger on it, though. They know something about the relationship angers them, but they don't know that may be part of it because that is how they were always treated by the parent in question.

I read somewhere that the addict stops maturing at whatever point in time they become addicted. Makes sense that my ABF was always acting like a 15 year old-that's when he started with meth.

And with my grandfather, it never stopped. They used to actually argue about how old she was. It's horrible, really, the things this s*** does to people's brains.

xmrscran

I just posted tonight about how upset for my daughter I am...this is sad. sad. sad. Luckily, xah "doesn't have a drinking problem". He left his supervised visit and drove directly to the liquor store. Funny thing is when I watched it I felt NOTHING...all I thought was yep, yep, yep. I've accepted this as her reality when it comes to her Dad, I don't know if that's healthy or not on my part?

MissFixit

That video made me cry.

HopefulinFLA

Wow, pretty powerful stuff!