Germany1

Absolutely nobody in my life knows I'm an alcoholic except me. I'm trying to recover and feel good, but am still in the early stages. I've been putting off letting others in for the reasons that my friends would probably think I was a freak and my parents/family wouldn't act rationally either. It's only a matter of time until somebody notices I'm not drinking anymore at all (current plan, hoping to stay strong). What should I do when this time comes? Make up a bs reason as to why I'm not drinking anymore? Has this ever worked for anybody. Should I give my sobriety some time and then spill the beans? Suggestions please!!

comtnman740

Hey there,
There is nothing wrong with saying tha you're trying to get healthy or shed some pounds.

biminiblue

You don't have to tell them any more than you are comfortable sharing.

"I'm taking a break" "I'm cutting back" "I don't drink anymore."

You don't have to explain why. Someday you may wish to explain more, or maybe not. You are the captain of your ship.

least

You don't have to say anything other than "I don't drink anymore".

Compass7

I am in your same situation Germany. Day 14 here. I have only told 2 people in my life. I'm going to give it more time. For now I use the BS reasons, getting healthy, got to study etc. I don't want the added stress right now the whole "I'm an alcoholic" (seems personal to me although I'm sure some know). It is our business. I figure over time I will figure it out how I want to explain it. I don't feel like I'm lying because I am getting healthier and I am studying more without the drinking! I hope you find what works best for you.

patricia68

Would they believe you if you tell them you developed an allergy to wine/beer/whatever you used to drink? That's what I'm telling people

AveryMarie

Exactly what I was going to say Patricia. Worth a shot. But just saying you haven't been feeling well and are taking a break should suffice for short term purpose. If they give you **** then do you really want to be hanging out with them?

Njdude

It's really up to you! I don't have a problem with the alcohol as much as I do with every other substance on the planet! Problem is that when I start drinking, I get a buzz fast and the minute the buzz kicks in, thats when I begin to form a plan to go and use. So now I just decline a drink or say "no not drinking tonight but thanks!"

You don't have to give any information you don't want to give. As long as you are taking care of yourself FOR yourself, you don't have to worry about what the rest of the world thinks.

Good luck!

-Steve-

Germany1

Thanks everyone, yea I think I have some short term excuses figured out. The shedding a few pounds idea is spot on since I'm huskier and have a physically demanding job coming up in a month. I guess I'll fill everyone in more as my sobriety progresses and I'm more comfortable.

Marcher13

Germany I'm 13 months into sobriety, this question worried me enormously in the beginning but now I realise that the only person it ever mattered to was me. I said "I feel so much better without it" (entirely true) on the few occasions I was asked, for months I've simply said "no thank you". You have no obligation to say anything to anyone other than yourself, your sobriety is your business but if you want to share about it then do.

ETA I also thought that, in my case it wasn't as I thought, but my sobriety has been fully accepted without cross-questioning.

pcm54

Hi, Germany,
Since I live so far away from my closest friends and family, I told all of them after I had a few months sobriety. I simply said. "oh, by the way, did I tell you I joined AA?". To a person, everyone said basically, 'Oh, cool, good to hear. I love you. Do you need to go to a meeting? Should I go with you? Let's go shopping!". I had built it up so big in my head and then, we went shopping. Two of my daughters and my sister have chosen to take a very low road...they post pictures mocking rehab and addicts on fb and then call me out, but that's okay. At least they are alive today. I guess what I am saying is to just speak your truth however you want to. I did notice that once I stopped drinking I prefer the company of non-drinkers, so the matter doesn't really come up.

Betterlife1

Hi Germany! I'm in same boat! I've told only a handful of people what's going on. But I tell them its only temporary to get healthy. A couple were surprisingly supportive, but many were just thinking it's some "stupid" phase I'm going through and have given me a bit of a hard time. It's actually been 100 days today, and quite frankly, I can't even admit to myself that this will be forever! Forever is my plan, but it makes it easier on myself to say its just temporary. At any rate, don't think you should feel compelled to tell people anything just yet until you get further down the line. Good luck!

snowflake74

Germany, I've been in the same dilemma. What I found is that most people care far less whether we are drinking or not than we think they do. If people really do care so much, you have to wonder what's going on with them that it is so important that you're drinking or not. But regardless, you have to do or say the easiest thing to solve the problem. I agree with your stance that to reveal you're an alcoholic to others might cause unnecessary stress, especially in the beginning. Some things I've said to others to get through the moment are:

1. Meh, I'm feeling kinda under the weather... I don't want to get sick.
2. Meh, I'm trying to shed some pounds and trying to be good on my diet.
3. I'm the designated driver tonight. Nothing for me, thanks.
4. Meh, I gotta get up early tomorrow and do some yardwork.
5. I'm thinking I might be one of those people who are actually alergic to alcohol. I get really bad hangovers. I think I'm gonna lay off for awhile and see if I feel better.
6. I'm on anitbiotics right now... I can't drink while on them.

If you really want to get crafty, you can order a soda and ask the bartender to give it to you in a cocktail glass. Nobody will know (or care) that it's just soda. If you're a beer drinker, order a beer in one of those aluminum-style bottles, or a regular can (so people can't see the contents). Take it into the bathroom with you and dump it out and fill it up with water from the sink. Of course, when you are feeling more comfortable in your sobriety you won't feel the need to resort to such tactics, but in the meantime, do what you need to do to stay sober and still get through the night. I personally, needed to avoid drinking situations all together, because it's extremely hard for me to abstain when others are drinking around me. Hope this helps, and good luck!!!