Feel out of step with the world
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Feel out of step with the world
Today was just a really crappy day.
Everyday I feel like I don't belong. My mother told me again tonight that "you're not normal" and "that people are sniggering at you behind your back"...
I know that I am not the life and soul of the party, and never will be but now at 33 years old and almost 6 months sober I have accepted that, and I like it this way. It is after 10 pm and it's my favourite time - I am in my room doing some reading and it's "me time". I am making arrangements for next week, meet my friends for dinner and a movie.
What is "normal" anyway? And who are these people? My new motto is "what other people think of me is none of my business".
These days I try to take the above as a compliment. When I was back in college last year, there was a foreign guy in my class and he said to me on the class night out that he liked me a lot because "you are a sweet and simple girl...you're not a high maintenance drama queen like most Irish women"!!
I just told my mom that I think she is wrong...and that I think I am a pretty good person. It feels quite odd because I've never said that before...
Everyday I feel like I don't belong. My mother told me again tonight that "you're not normal" and "that people are sniggering at you behind your back"...
I know that I am not the life and soul of the party, and never will be but now at 33 years old and almost 6 months sober I have accepted that, and I like it this way. It is after 10 pm and it's my favourite time - I am in my room doing some reading and it's "me time". I am making arrangements for next week, meet my friends for dinner and a movie.
What is "normal" anyway? And who are these people? My new motto is "what other people think of me is none of my business".
These days I try to take the above as a compliment. When I was back in college last year, there was a foreign guy in my class and he said to me on the class night out that he liked me a lot because "you are a sweet and simple girl...you're not a high maintenance drama queen like most Irish women"!!
I just told my mom that I think she is wrong...and that I think I am a pretty good person. It feels quite odd because I've never said that before...
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Originally Posted by Tetra 
"you are a sweet and simple girl...you're not a high maintenance drama queen like most Irish women"!!
Exactly Tetra, who are these "normal" people, everyone has a different personality, so there's no normal, there's individuals!!
Be yourself, and at the end of the day people will always have their opinions as there's no escaping people being judgemental in life, from our tastes in music, to the way we look, to every little part of life someone can have an opinion on, people can disagree or not like something . . . but that doesn't make them right.
I heard a saying a while back “There is always 3 sides to every story, Your side, Their side and the TRUTH.”
We can get down over people's opinions of us, but their opinion and how harshly we come down on ourselves is equally false, and so far from the truth!!
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Island Park , NY
Posts: 373
Originally Posted by Tetra
Today was just a really crappy day.
Everyday I feel like I don't belong. My mother told me again tonight that "you're not normal" and "that people are sniggering at you behind your back"...
I know that I am not the life and soul of the party, and never will be but now at 33 years old and almost 6 months sober I have accepted that, and I like it this way. It is after 10 pm and it's my favourite time - I am in my room doing some reading and it's "me time". I am making arrangements for next week, meet my friends for dinner and a movie.
What is "normal" anyway? And who are these people? My new motto is "what other people think of me is none of my business".
These days I try to take the above as a compliment. When I was back in college last year, there was a foreign guy in my class and he said to me on the class night out that he liked me a lot because "you are a sweet and simple girl...you're not a high maintenance drama queen like most Irish women"!!
I just told my mom that I think she is wrong...and that I think I am a pretty good person. It feels quite odd because I've never said that before...
Everyday I feel like I don't belong. My mother told me again tonight that "you're not normal" and "that people are sniggering at you behind your back"...
I know that I am not the life and soul of the party, and never will be but now at 33 years old and almost 6 months sober I have accepted that, and I like it this way. It is after 10 pm and it's my favourite time - I am in my room doing some reading and it's "me time". I am making arrangements for next week, meet my friends for dinner and a movie.
What is "normal" anyway? And who are these people? My new motto is "what other people think of me is none of my business".
These days I try to take the above as a compliment. When I was back in college last year, there was a foreign guy in my class and he said to me on the class night out that he liked me a lot because "you are a sweet and simple girl...you're not a high maintenance drama queen like most Irish women"!!
I just told my mom that I think she is wrong...and that I think I am a pretty good person. It feels quite odd because I've never said that before...
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hey, Tetra.
Normal...I believe I never belonged to this ephemeral club either...
I like your new vision. Yes, take it as a compliment.
And, maybe there is another word for being "not normal". How about "special"?
You are walking your unique journey. And that takes some guts, and deserves some respect.
Keep your chin up.
And best wishes to you)
Normal...I believe I never belonged to this ephemeral club either...
I like your new vision. Yes, take it as a compliment.
And, maybe there is another word for being "not normal". How about "special"?
You are walking your unique journey. And that takes some guts, and deserves some respect.
Keep your chin up.
And best wishes to you)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Southern U.S.
Posts: 1,030
Originally Posted by Tetra
What is "normal" anyway? And who are these people? My new motto is "what other people think of me is none of my business".
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I'm strange, wierd, and a little off. You know what? I like me just the way I am. I have many people like me to and the people who don't seem to be the ones trying to be someone they aren't
Still I rise.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
Mothers (fathers too but mother/daughter is fraught with specific tensions and conflicts) have such power to hurt us.
I'm glad you defended yourself and I love your new motto. I could use that motto more of myself, so I thank you for that.
I think the best thing for you, and I don't know if it is feasible, is to move away (travel if you can even!) from your mom/family. You will learn so much about yourself and find such strength. I lived in Australia for a year in my 35th year; it was such a wonderful experience and taught me so much about myself without that burden that family can sometimes be for us nearby. Move out/away…create your own life!
I'm glad you defended yourself and I love your new motto. I could use that motto more of myself, so I thank you for that.
I think the best thing for you, and I don't know if it is feasible, is to move away (travel if you can even!) from your mom/family. You will learn so much about yourself and find such strength. I lived in Australia for a year in my 35th year; it was such a wonderful experience and taught me so much about myself without that burden that family can sometimes be for us nearby. Move out/away…create your own life!
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 94
rejoice - yes embrace our geek/freak sides. "watch out for the quiet ones" people say - and ha ha to them....keep smiling so people will wonder what you're up to...dance to your own tune and toot your own horn once in a while just to PROVE you don't care. And LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE to your nay-sayers.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
Tetra; Your mom seems to go out of her way quite frequently to say hurtful things either to you or about you. Good for you for not buying her baggage.
Have you thought of talking to your Gran about maybe moving more permanently in with her, at least for awhile?
You might have more opportunity in the city for jobs, and it seems like your mom cuts you down just when you are in a solid positive space.
It's just a thought. I think you are doing really well and are a thoughtful, sensitive person.
My mother was also always threatened by the fact I did my own thing not like so called "normal people" too, such as reading in my room instead of going to social events and such.
You are who you are, and that is terrific.
Have you thought of talking to your Gran about maybe moving more permanently in with her, at least for awhile?
You might have more opportunity in the city for jobs, and it seems like your mom cuts you down just when you are in a solid positive space.
It's just a thought. I think you are doing really well and are a thoughtful, sensitive person.
My mother was also always threatened by the fact I did my own thing not like so called "normal people" too, such as reading in my room instead of going to social events and such.
You are who you are, and that is terrific.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Tetra, just remembered one my fav moovies, and thought about your thread.
I am doing boxing now, so decided to re-watch One Million Dollar Baby. There's a dialogue between the main character, Maggie who is a female boxer, and her mother.
Maggie's mother lives on welfare, and sister cheats on welfare pretending one of her kids is still alive. Finally Maggie saves up enough of her winnings to buy her mother a house, but instead of being grateful, she berates Maggie for endangering her welfare payments and Medicaid benefits.
The mother:
"Find a man, Mary M.
Live proper.
People hear about what you're doing and they laugh.
Hurts me to tell you, but they laugh at you."
I just love how the screenwriter put the words "Live proper" in the mouth of the woman who's cheating on welfare and considers herself normal.
Keep your chin up, Tetra)
I am doing boxing now, so decided to re-watch One Million Dollar Baby. There's a dialogue between the main character, Maggie who is a female boxer, and her mother.
Maggie's mother lives on welfare, and sister cheats on welfare pretending one of her kids is still alive. Finally Maggie saves up enough of her winnings to buy her mother a house, but instead of being grateful, she berates Maggie for endangering her welfare payments and Medicaid benefits.
The mother:
"Find a man, Mary M.
Live proper.
People hear about what you're doing and they laugh.
Hurts me to tell you, but they laugh at you."
I just love how the screenwriter put the words "Live proper" in the mouth of the woman who's cheating on welfare and considers herself normal.
Keep your chin up, Tetra)
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