snakes

I had a few days in a row with no alcohol, was feeling better and more positive, and went to a bunch of AA meetings, met people, got numbers, etc. Then last night I found an old bottle of wine in the house, drank half of it, and poured the rest out. That's not normal. I almost feel guilty posting about it because I feel like I should be posting about how successful I have been (not true) and being positive and encouraging.

SoberLeigh

You are being honest, snakes, and honesty is a great asset when it comes to achieving sobriety. Kudos on pouring half of the bottle of wine down the drain.

Keep at it, snakes. Maybe next time you feel triggered, call one of the numbers you received at AA or find a meeting, okay?

LBrain

welcome snakes, what's not normal? drinking half bottle of wine or pouring a half bottle out?

snakes

I don't think either are normal. Finding an old bottle of wine and just being so momentarily excited and opening it and drinking half. Who gets so excited about a bottle of wine? It wasn't even good wine. Not that I ever cared about the quality. And pouring the rest out. Who does that? I doubt a normal drinker would. I knew if I didn't pour it out I would drink it. So, I dumped it.

Granted it could have been a lot worse but still my actions are not normal.

RazaR

You can do it. Maybe you just needed a reminder. It IS normal. I believe very few actually put it down and walk away for ever on the first try. Take this moment, that feeling of guilt and know that you are better then that. Think of all the things in life that we do, that we learn, how often does one "do it the first try"? Not very Hang in there.

snakes

It is harder than I thought it would be!

Upward2Enlightenment

Snakes my DOC was not alcohol so I am not gonna pretend I know exactly what you are feeling, but by what I have seen your actions are normal for someone who is an alcoholic. The important thing is you realized what you were doing and stopped and want to be sober. All you did was have a slip, keep trying.

Upward2Enlightenment

I bet all of us have had that thought when quitting.

snakes

What if I slip again? And then I end up even worse off than I am now? These thoughts haunt me.

RazaR

Nothing good ever comes easy.

One hour at a time, One day at a time... You CAN do this because you want to.

Stoogy

If it was so easy Snakes, I suppose SR would not exist. You are just acting on instinct which was find a drink and you know the rest, your brain just had to adapt to life after alcohol which takes a big of time. When I first entered sobriety it was a nightmare walking through a supermarket isle containing alcohol as it truly felt like a magnetic pull, seriously it did feel like that. Time heals just be patient and do your best to abstain, you will be fine.

LBrain

snakes, I KNOW how hard it was to dump that wine. That was a victory for you. Stay strong. When I first started going to AA I found bottles of beer I had stashed in my garage. I told someone at a meeting and they drove me home to help me dump the bottles in the snow. Even though I thought I was strong enough to do it myself, I still didn't trust myself. Use your resources when you have to. Pick up the phone.

least

I hope you find the support you need to stay sober.

Upward2Enlightenment

Try to think about that next time you are tempted. I believe you have the inner strength to do this.
Like LBrain said

hopeful4

Dumping that wine was a success. Good for you!

Being here, getting support, and being honest, that is also success!

It's hard, but I am betting you are a lot stronger than you think!

Kabukicho

Good lord, I wish half a bottle of wine were my problem.

I understand how you are feeling. Please try to be gentle with yourself. Do not blame yourself for your mistakes.

An error only becomes a mistake when you refuse to learn from it. What did you learn this time?

snakes

I learned that I have to be vigilant in my quest to stop drinking entirely and that I shouldn't have any alcohol around.

I made an appointment to see a psychologist. My whole life has been some sort of mental roller coaster. I suppose that is true for most. I had a very extreme eating disorder as a teen and clinical depression. Guess I shouldn't be surprised by my struggle with alcohol.

Anewhappiness

What if I slip again? And then I end up even worse off than I am now? These thoughts haunt me.


That is why we have to stay in today. Our high power only gives us the strength and wisdom to get through these 24 hours.....keeps us dependent on him. What if I lose my job? What if I get cancer? What if what's what if. Stay in today and you can make it

Tamerua

Welcome! And we aren't normal drinkers, that is why we are here!

Good on you for dumping it and recognizing it. Next time, use your numbers that you got in AA.

crlion

I also stuffed up and drank this week. Had more than you had though.

All I can say is well done that you poured half down the sink. that shows you have some control and didn't allow yourself to drink the whole bottle.

From experience I've stuffed up and slipped a couple of times. Today is back to day one for me.

I think it's normal for an alcoholic to want to drink if it's in the house. Just check your house and make sure there isn't any more alcohol. If there is throw it out.

I guess I'm not really able to give great words of wisdome since i also slipped. But just wanted you to know that your not alone.