Kabukicho

Who are these people? How do they manage to live life so normally?

They get coffee and get a snack. Sure, here in America, they might be a bit chubby. I would rather be chubby than a Xanx / Alcohol addict.

How do they become happy? How do stupid activities like going to the gym or going for a walk make them happy?

Perhaps they are simply stupid. Like animals. They don't understand the pain of existence.

Am I alone in thinking this way?

(I am not trying to be superior. Perhaps I have some NPD. But that is not the point. I simply do not understand how "normal" people live "happy" lives.)

BruceSA

With respect, I don't think they are "stupid" or animals.

Try switching your life with theirs for a week and then reflect carefully on the differences.

I actually can't believe this post is for real?

KAD

I understand the thought process behind your musings as I have shared them (and I'm pretty sure I don't have NPD). We see the world through the eyes of an addict. For all the misery and hopelessness addiction has brought us, we have grown accustomed to the "highs" it was brought us as well. Whenever I have sobered up - as I have now for the past 10 weeks - I still catch myself looking at "normal" people and wondering how they find the joy they apparently experience. How do they do that without the sort of release to which I've grown accustomed? I think that's because, after 26 years of drinking nearly every day, I forgot what it was like to be "normal." I forgot what it was like to be indifferent to alcohol. I forgot what it was like to not depend on it, to feel like I needed it just to get through life. I don't think it means you really believe you are somehow superior to all those people. You may possibly say that to yourself while you're under the influence (as I did on occasion) but I'm convinced that is the AV. It is a most artful liar. We lie to ourselves more than to anyone else. When I'm sober, what I feel more than anything when I watch "normal" people is envy. Maybe you do, too?

ontherightpath

For what its worth, You have no idea the struggle that they face every single day of their lives, much like i wouldnt know the struggle you are facing, if i saw you on the street.

dont judge them because they look happy. understand that peace is attainable. and happiness will follow

caboblanco

There are a lot of chubby guys that are ceo of companies in this country that probably enjoy a morning coffee and a snack

caboblanco

why is your status so important to you?...meaning your finances and details of your love life? I assure you nobody here gives a dam about that. I don't think you are being honest anyway..sorry. people don't talk like that unless they are insecure or trolling..then to talk down about random Americans on the street? look I know that's a sport in other countries but i'm pretty sure you live here and you are making this whole persona up.

what do you have if you don't have this lavish life you described? is this all you are holding on to?

ChickChick

I am normally a calm, patient, non-confrontational person. But this post really, truly rubs me the wrong way. I have an average american life, I am a stay at home mom to four beautiful kids. Yes, my life might be to simple for some but it makes me immensely happy. I happen to enjoy taking walks and soaking in the beauty around me in nature.

Your view on life truly makes me sad for you. I hope you open your eyes one day and see the beauty in simple things that are around us.

Fandy

I think that is the point of this entire thread...to inflame and insult.

biminiblue

You are certainly unique.

No one understands you. No one is as smart as you. No one "sees" what you see.

I felt that way too. Try life sober for a few months and then revisit this thought. You are coming from a place of relative delusion.


Everyone you meet is fighting a huge battle. Most normal people understand this and accept it, you are not there yet.

tomsteve

are they stupid? no
aminals?no.

stupid activities to you may be the greatest enjoyment to others.

have you actually asked these people if they experience pain in their lives?
or is that an assumption?

I was at the hardware store not too long ago. upon entering, the cashier (who knows be by 1st name ive been in there so many times) said,as usual,"good morning,tom. how are you today?" smile on her face. appearing to be quite serene.
when I got to the register I said,'and how are you today?"
she couldn't hold back. tears rolled down her face. her husband was recently diagnosed stage 4 liver cancer. no health insurance. they had no idea how the bills would get paid on one income. their son was in legal trouble. one of their vehicles was not running good.
if I didn't ask I would have never known.
how do people live normal,happy lives? I think it has to do with them deciding what normal and happy is for them. I think it also has to do with,when problems come up, getting into the solution. if something isn't working, they change it.

im taking my dog for a walk soon. if you feel that's stupid, that's your choice. me and my dog will be happy.

KAD

I'm not so sure. I think a lot of it is the alcohol and drugs doing the talking, to be honest. (We should all remember what that's like!) Maybe I'll be proven wrong but I'm not convinced @Kabukicho is just a troll. Not everyone who comes here seeking help is going to be humble about it or immediately receptive. Many are going to be a real challenge. Some are more difficult to reach than others.

That doesn't mean we're all tasked with trying to reach them either. We can try, but if it just makes us feel frustrated, insulted, or angry, we'll do more harm than good, to them and to ourselves.

ScottFromWI

You are also "one of those people", just like the rest of us. Consider that for a minute.

LBrain

I would rather live in a trailer park and be happy rather than live in a mansion and be sad.

jaynie04

I actually envy my animals, they have mastered the art of living in the present. They don't ruminate about the past or pace up and down worrying about the future.

They might look at each other to discern each others emotions, but I doubt they spend much time worrying about why Fluffy is a bit chubby.

They don't assign values to the way each other lives. I have yet to catch my cat looking annoyed at a squirrel in a tree for running up and down a tree trunk aimlessly. They don't seem to worry about things out of their control.

In fact, most animals with the basic necessities seem pretty happy to me. One might argue that animals have lapped us on the evolutionary scale…...

ChickChick

Great post Jaynie!! I LOVE IT!

Gibbons2

They don't understand the pain of existence.

First of all, how do you know these people are even happy? Just because someone is smiling, doesn't necessarily mean everything is perfect in their lives. You might think so, but you hardly know that unless you ask.

As far as taking a walk or going to the gym, I always look at exercise as God's natural way to make ourselves feel better. Exercise releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain.

The majority of people, I believe, do understand the pain of existence. But you can either choose to look at the glass half full or half empty. It doesn't mean you ignore painful things, but you just accept them as part of life and choose to focus on the positive things.

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Gibbons.

DocSobrietist

I don't understand why some of the others are offended by the OP. Reflects the realization of the pain we all of have been in at one point or another due to addiction.

But I think it's certainly worth noting that there are a lot of those people you see on the street, who may look happy and fulfilled, who are nursing their own private pain and torment - you just don't see it from the outside. Of course, plenty of them are also happy and fulfilled too, most likely. You just don't know. Plenty of us have been very good at putting on a happy, fulfilled, functional looking face for the world to see while we were falling apart inside.....

Anyways, I thought the OP was very real, no offense taken and I'm surprised people see it as trolling.

-DrS

Adnamaeel

Being the center of your own narrative and being the center of the universe are not the same thing. Maybe all those stupid happy people have grasped this.

KAD

I kinda feel like I understand this whole existential head trip Kabukicho appears to be on. I used to board that crazy train myself quite frequently. I still tend to over-think things but when I sober up, like now, I start to see it from the outside looking in. That usually results in recognizing that maybe I wasn't so smart, insightful, or clever after all. The AV can have us all quite fascinated with our own thoughts, and an accompanying overblown sense of self-importance. It takes clearing away the fog of intoxication to make us see we are not so different from the people we see day in and day out and, further, we have no idea what it's really like to walk in their shoes, outward appearances notwithstanding.

deeker

Kab you are under the influence of xanax and alcohol. You are not well right now. From reading another post of yours, it also does not sound like you are ready to get well. I do hope you will come back when you are.