kellygurl1711

I'm confused right now. 46 days in and I've noticed my cravings for alcohol are gone. The mental cravings are still there from time to time. Someone mentioned in a meeting that they were told they were going through the stages of grief much like the loss of a best friend. Is that what's happening for me? I keep thinking to myself, "where did my cravings go?" I kind of miss them. Now I'm going around and around in my head trying to figure out why i feel this way. Its making me feel like i have a weight on my head and shoulders. I don't like this. Help?

LBrain

Hi Kellygurl, glad you are working things out with the sponsor, be patient.

When I was in rehab I had to write a "Dear John" letter to alcohol. Saying goodbye to a dear old friend is tough. Some people react differently. For me it was almost a life time of turning to alcohol for everything. It is what I was programmed to do. Now I don't have it to fall back on. But I know it's still there waiting for me if I decide to go back. I can sort of equate to a time when an old girlfriend and I broke it off. It was over, there were no doubts about it. But I still looked for her when I was out - not stalking or anything weird like that. But if I saw her car in the parking lot I would 'bump' into her at the store and have a quick chit-chat. That went on for a few months but eventually it just faded away and never became a thought. Alcohol for some has that same effect. Just don't get caught up in the feelings - 'this too shall pass'. Hope this helped.

OpioPhobe

Kelly - when I was in the grieving process I wasn't having cravings per se. It was closer to reliving a memory from a long time ago that is no longer attainable. I was selectively remembering the good times, and glorifying them in my mind. At the time I wouldn't be actively thinking about using in the present, which is why I wouldn't characterize it as a craving. I was accepting the fact that I wasn't going to use and I was going to live life on it's own terms.

To be honest, I question whether the grieving process was helpful to me or not. It reminded me of using, and it was a distorted memory that wasn't reality.

KimsFriend

Hi. Day 37 for me. I can relate to your post. I feel so sad sometimes - like something is missing from my life. I do get cravings from time to time - not as much as in the beginning, but every time I put myself in a situation where I see a drink (well, white wine in particular) it comes on like a freight train.
And it isn't so much that I crave the alcohol per se, it is more that I just MISS the drunk. Which makes me even more sad, because God knows I have everything to lose if I pick up again.

But I try to keep plugging along. I make the phone calls, I pray, I go to meetings. Last night as I sat in my car after a meeting, I was crying because I just miss drinking so much. The speakers at the meeting seem so happy, so put together, and talk about how their obsession was lifted and I can't help but thing "what am I doing wrong? why can't I get past this?"

I think your grieving process theory makes a lot of sense.

Ethos23

I know I went through the "Grief" process. It was totally real. When I made the decision to quit...I mean to really quit, at any cost, to get help. I started to feel the grief feelings very soon after. It literally felt like I lost a very close friend or family member. It felt this way for a while and even now, almost 4 months in, I still get that feeling sometimes.