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I hate rollercoasters

Old 04-27-2014, 07:49 PM
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Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
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Unhappy I hate rollercoasters

I don't know if it is the AV messing with my mind, depression or just my way of thinking. 6 hours ago I was looking out the window as the sun shone down on the grass and told myself I am happy and I haven't felt happy in such a long time, then I said I need to get the energy and motivation to cut the grass. Now 6 hours later I feel so bad I just want to cry. It was a bad day, kept waking up with nightmares about wife, today was middle daughters birthday but she wants nothing to do with me along with some other minor stuff but I was still happy. I have no urge to use just don't know.

Sorry I just had to vent.
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Old 04-27-2014, 07:59 PM
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My emotions were all over the place the first few months. Up, down, exhilarated, morose…and then the mehs set in…..

I believe that when we go through the roller coaster we are actually witnessing our brains starting to figure out that what we relied on is no longer on tap. I have become fascinated with neuropsychiatry in the last few months simply because I can't believe what I have seen in myself in such a compressed space.

It is a pretty crazy trip right? Who knew?….
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Old 04-27-2014, 08:21 PM
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Stick with it Up - the rollercoaster ride will end, and you'll be able to count on a new kind of constancy for your emotional state

lean on us when you need to

D
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Old 04-27-2014, 08:29 PM
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I'm sorry you're sad. (HUG). Hang in there.
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Old 04-27-2014, 08:41 PM
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Big hugs. I think you're doing pretty great.
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Old 04-27-2014, 09:11 PM
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I'm sorry, my emotions were all over the place today too. Take care
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Old 04-27-2014, 09:40 PM
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You will level out emotionally, but that doesn't mean you won't feel bad when things suck, just that you won't feel erratically volatile.
You'll start to feel more and more like yourself every day.
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Old 04-28-2014, 04:56 AM
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I'm feeling better this morning, Thanks everyone.

I just felt so good about myself earlier yesterday then it seemed like for no reason the rollercoster came off the tracks.
Went to bed had the nightmares that keep waking me up throughout the night and then here I am. Clean sober and working on day 16. I count myself lucky that I don't remember most of the nightmares just the very end if at all.

Thanks everyone for your support.
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Old 04-28-2014, 05:33 AM
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Great stuff!!

Day 6 here, I also feel like an emotional yoyo!

We got this
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Old 04-28-2014, 06:00 AM
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It's normal for your feelings to be all over the place at first. Stay sober and they will smooth out.
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Old 04-28-2014, 09:28 AM
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I'm on day 56 or something and it's wayyyyyyy better than it was in the beginning. Moods are evening out slightly now.
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Old 04-28-2014, 09:34 AM
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Glad you're feeling better today, SU. The ups and downs can be brutal for sure. All the more reason to never want to do this again.
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Old 04-28-2014, 12:30 PM
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Kitten I have promised myself that no matter what happens with the rest of my life I will not start taking those pills again. Of course easy to say that right now as I am sure many others have, but when I promise something it is hard to make me break my word but it has happened before.
Thanks everyone for your support. You guys have made quitting so much easier on me.
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Old 04-28-2014, 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted by ScrewdUpInDe View Post
I don't know if it is the AV messing with my mind, depression or just my way of thinking. 6 hours ago I was looking out the window as the sun shone down on the grass and told myself I am happy and I haven't felt happy in such a long time, then I said I need to get the energy and motivation to cut the grass. Now 6 hours later I feel so bad I just want to cry. It was a bad day, kept waking up with nightmares about wife, today was middle daughters birthday but she wants nothing to do with me along with some other minor stuff but I was still happy. I have no urge to use just don't know.

Sorry I just had to vent.
hey bro! I feel you man, same exact way, up one then completely down in pieces the next...stay strong brother...we will get thru it!
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Old 04-28-2014, 12:43 PM
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Hey, sorry you were feeling so down yesterday. I'm glad things are looking up for you today. The ups and downs can come and go so quickly! But your doing great. Just keep at it. :group hug:
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Old 04-28-2014, 12:55 PM
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The emotional roller coaster stage is so normal; your emotions will eventually even out, SUID. 16 days is great progress.
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Old 04-28-2014, 01:10 PM
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early recovery can be a serious rollercoaster. give it time. them peaks and valleys of the rollercoaster will get closer. but try not to want it to be just one straight horizontal rollercoaster ride. ya know what a heart monitor is sayin when it has a straight,horizontal line??
it'll get better as long as ya don't drink and put int he footwork to change you.
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Old 04-28-2014, 03:01 PM
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SUID,, after 4 months I still get that way. I'm still kinda nursing the shock I got. Today a paycheck showed up in the mail. I never got checks, it was always direct deposit. It was my pay for the previous 2 weeks. A total of 16 hours pay at 70% of rate. WHAT HAPPENED TO 80 HOURS of full pay? OOOPS... Believe me it took the wind out of my sails. I lost all motivation to do anything.

But I do find that once I force myself to start something and get into it I'm okay. Part of my problem is I was forcing myself to go fishing and play golf instead of real life s^^t.
I'm still living the dream.

Hang in there. These imbalances will continue for a bit. Sometimes I wake up on top of the world. Other times I just want to crawl under the covers and make the day go away. They are a lot fewer and longer in between. But I do know what you mean.

Hang in there, you are doing great.
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Old 04-28-2014, 03:06 PM
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Wanted to send you some love ScrewdUp. I completely understand & did the same thing many times as I began to heal. The low times became fewer & fewer - eventually we stop torturing ourselves with memories and remorse. I'm glad you are feeling better today - you sound good & that makes me happy.
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