sweetenuff

Just wanted to say hi to everyone here. My first day sober today but nowhere near my first attempt I have been on and off the bandwagon for the last 18 years, my longest sober stints being month or so. I am a binge drinker, I don't drink all day or even drink everything and anything in the house but once I start ........... Well almost impossible to stop at anything near sensible.

I have done some terrible things under the influence and at best am 'that embarrassing drunk'. I start with the best intentions and well we all know where that goes. I am 50 later in the year and feel sad that I have wasted so much on alcohol, I don't want to continue on this rollercoaster, battering myself .... Be nice to have some dignity in my later years!!

I am also experiencing a few physical issues, dull pain in right side, gas and acid stomach, scary...worried for my liver and other known issues related to drink. And I have been losing my hair, I am female, for about 7 years now, tried all sorts of help to no avail, I can't tell you how much this is upsetting me. All this I am sure is linked to heavy and prolonged binge drinking yet I still do it.

I am so sick of the crippling hangovers, the health and emotional problems. The weight gain and the effect on the face...yuck!...... and of course hurting others.

I have a wonderful husband and a lot to be happy for yet I still wish I could be like him and just enjoy a few, while I know very well that I CAN NOT. I worry and get down that I won't be able to have a few drinks on 'x occasion', my birthday for example. Right, when have I only had a few .... I have a truck load and spoil myself...or worse the whole occasion.

Thanks for listening. So many people here doing well, its inspiring.


have been on this site previously but am hoping this time around I can really break this.

Dee74

Welcome back sweetenuff

do you have a plan to stay sober this time?

D

sweetenuff

Hi dee. I have enlisted the help of a qualified friend to come up with a diet and exercise plan and I am taking one day at a time. I tried AA meetings previously but these are not for me. I am cutting out sugar as this causes me a lot of problems ... Think this also affects hair loss and of course alcoholic drinks are loaded with it?

Sure there's much more I can do, feeling a bit battered today, any tips welcome.

Thanks

Dee74

Joining the Class of April support thread could really help too

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-4-a-6.html

D

solong

Hi sweetenuff, it all sounds familiar. Day 2 for me and twichy, irritable and glad I can read that others have struggled for years as I have. I am sick of beating myself up over it as well. Good luck to you.

Dee74

The April thread invite goes for you too solong

D

sweetenuff

Thanks so long, to you too

FeelingGreat

Hi sweetenuff, welcome back. With life expectancy for women of over 80 years, you can still live the last 30 years of your life sober and proud of yourself. How does that sound?
I'm a 57yo woman and it took me many years to quit, but I'm at over 2 years now, and I never want to go back.
I'm not giving you medical advice, but my suggestion is that you go and see a doctor and lay everything on the line, your drinking, your hair loss - everything. It's hard to be truthful about the volume, so write down if you have to. Talking to my doctor was my first step to finally quitting for good. Try not to feel ashamed; my sister is a GP and she says it's really refreshing to have patients who are honest about their alcohol intake, because so many lie (and the doctor usually guesses anyway).
I hope you can quit this time. Don't hesitate to reach out for support.

sweetenuff

The last 30 years sober and proud.....sounds soooo great, especially if I can regain my health, and my hair! Thanks

solong

Thanks Dee74, for the advice. Will check it out in a couple of hours.

goose333

Hi Sweetenuff,
So many of us started & stopped so many times. I don't have a lot under my belt this time but the difference is that this time I really really wanted to. And I had the same thought as you "I am so sick of..." fill in the blank.

So make a better plan this time. List everything you are sick of. List all the embarrassing things you've done while drunk. What happens when you have fallen in the past? Think about that and make a plan to prevent those situations from happening again.
Perhaps the daily support thread will help. It helps me. Forces me to check in here daily. Daily Support Thread

Forget about birthdays, etc. Just block it all out for now and focus on the immediate. It we start thinking about that stuff, it's just too overwhelming. You CAN do it this time. Good luck!
Goose

least

Welcome to the family. I'm glad you joined us. You'll find lots of support here.

Panacea

Welcome sweetenuff! There is excellent advice and support here! I am 48 years old with a similar history and on Day 6. You can do it!

Pan

Fandy

Welcome! We are here for you....and we have ALL had a day 1, ( ive had many myself). SR is open 24/7 and helps tremendously for venting, reading, and discussions... we understand, we relate and someone always answers you.
How much did you drink? The right side pain needs to be addressed by your doctor, I hope you make an appt.
One suggestion is to take a selfie shot of your face periodically...you will be amazed at the difference.

sweetenuff

I usually drink between 1 and 1 half bottles wine plus half lager but sometimes more lager/ less wine. 2 or 3 times a week. If I am out or having a few mates round usually wine. Maybe two bottles. Shamefull. My friends will drink a lot but not like me, doing at home every week to this extent. No longer can I pretend this is normal. On occasion I have gone over this amount and attacked the gin or brandy and gone wild. Thanks everyone for the support.

Upward2Enlightenment

Welcome sweet you can do it this time, good info above and great support here. Make an appointment with your doctor too and tell him about your drinking and quitting and ask him/her about a complete checkup. Don't worry yourself about your health, let toe doc find IF anything is wrong.

You can do it and we are here rooting you on.