story74

Does it every bother you that you are dealing with an addict. They lie, cheat and steal with you...and in my case no child support and hasn't seen his son in way too long AND even cheated on me. In fact, he abandoned his family. Then you see/hear that he is hanging out with family (who all know), and you wonder is there just a HUGE elephant in the room? Do they talk about it? How can they respect and/or hold a conversation with this person? How can it look on the surface like everyone is having such a "great" time catching up on old times?

I guess I have never been in that situation. I just find it gross. Gross that my son is in so much pain, and people are shaking my XAH's hand and catching up on old times. It is so hard to see it from the other side. For example, these people haven't been through what I have gone through with him, and they miss and love him and are just happy to see him and giving him support. I don't know why I feel he should be shunned until he gets his act together, but I do! Wrong or right, that's how I feel.

It is so confusing to me. I will never ever understand the many layers of the addiction.

Ann

Story, I am the mother of an addicted adult son and I will always love him, no matter what. That said, I cannot live in the same house as he does nor can I wrap my days around him. In my case, that's easy because we lost contact about 10 years ago. But I remember well the chaos involved and don't envy anyone the experience.

I am sorry that you and your children have gone through so much with all this. Regardless of how he is doing or how those around him today treat him, what is important is that you have love and peace and joy in your home today, unencumbered by active addiction.

Hugs

story74

I wrote this last night upset. I do believe every human deserves love and a chance. I just don't think his family members have been burned by him.

It is just hard.

chicory

Story, I am sorry for the pain you and your son are having in your lives.
Perhaps his family has not been through any of his bad events, personally.

and , you really do not know what they are thinking , while they are shaking his hand. perhaps they are praying that he will do better if he knows he is loved and that his life matters.

I know its hard. But you are doing what you need to do, for you and your son. I hope his father comes to want recovery.

hugs
chicory