Blossom717

I've heard of "documenting" their habits/actions and such in case of custody battles when I leave. But what exactly would I put in a journal? What he drank? When? How it effected me? My feelings? How it effected our dd?

His fishing season started today (fishes every weekend and sometimes after work) and he came home drunk with a bottle of whiskey in his back pocket and a beer in his hand...in the drivers seat pulling a boat! I think documenting it will help me vent and keep moving on with my recovery by not thinking about it once I write it down, but I'm not sure what would be helpful for courts.

Opinions?

chicory

I think you might as well start with todays stuff. why not? it will flesh out the rest of your documentation and show how often bad decisions were made.

Probably help with the venting too, as you say.

take care.

Taking5

Pics, copies of receipts that you might find where he purchased alcohol, videos of him drunk (check with an atty to see if this is admissible or even legal in your state) and testimony of others. Think of tangible stuff that could be brought up in court.

Your feelings or hunches, however correct they may, are irrelevant in a court proceeding. Don't even use the word "feel" when you document something. Use "think" or "suspect" instead. Talk to an atty if you before hand.

peaceofpi

If you're journaling for a custody battle, best to write down just the facts, ma'am. What you did with the kids that day, what contact (if any) he had with them, what he drank, was it in front of kids, did he drive drunk, did he scream obscenities at you, what boundaries you set with him, etc.

Journaling also can be cathartic. That would be where you write down how you feel. A lawyer, however, will be looking for the facts that can help decide which parent should get the most time with the children and what protections, such as random testing or supervised visitation, might be appropriate for when the drunk parent has the kids.

Blossom717

Thank you for the advice everyone! I have some videos and voice recordings but I don't think they'd be admissible. I have a copy of the hospital paperwork stating to stop drinking, and I will start keeping a journal of facts only..

He's smart about receipts....his dad keeps track of his spending so he will go to the grocery store, take out $100 cash to use at the liquor store...so his dad thinks he bought groceries.

redatlanta

Might be able to find some crumpled up receipts in the car. A's aren't known for perfection.

I would try to snap some pics of him driving with beer in hand.

allysen

I would consult with a lawyer about what and how to document stuff. While documenting may help in a custody case, it's also an extremely codie behaviour that can cause you a lot of stress. A lawyer can help you narrow down what to look for and what is useless.

My lawyer had said something about marking the bottles, photographing them each day to show how much was being consumed, etc. I never did any of it though (didn't need to).