Ilovesleep

So it's day seven and I doing ok, but as I sit here at 10pm on a Saturday night I know where all my friends are and what they are doing ( drinking ) and it made me question if these people would really spend time with me if on every occasion it was an alcohol free activity. And if they would be supportive in my stopping drinking? Don't get me wrong, my family are all amazing, very supportive and loving and are always going to be here for me. This is not a post about feeling sorry for myself, more a reflection on who I have been surrounding myself with and if they really are my friends or just drinking buddies?
And I just wondered if any of you had realised this and how you handled the situation?

LadyBlue0527

Not going to sugar coat this one. Sobriety is life changing and I had 4 people in my life who I thought were my closest friends. The friendships just dissipated because we no longer had the cement in common that held us together and made the depth of our friendships so far reaching. In other words, alcohol. This is not to say that none of us care for each other anymore, it's just that it was more about the drinking and less about spending quality time together.

I slowly have replaced those relationships with people who share common interests other than what bar we're going to or talking about who got the most tanked the prior weekend. After a while you think about those situations and all those discussions and realize just how stupid they really were.

Life is so much better without alcohol. You'll find like minded people and for the first time in your life you'll feel pretty good about the fact that they're genuinely calling you to hang out because they want to see you. Not because they've gone through their drinking buddy list and you happened to be the first person that was available.

The friendships that you make are now real

Keepintheday

Hey. Guessing you are in the UK too? That's a tough one as a lot of things with friends are built around pubs and restaurants. I guess I look back to my so called 'social' drinking and now recognise that it was always me who had one or two extra, ordered two when everyone else had one, pre-loaded before I met friends and was always the one stumbling around, embarrassing myself and chatting up the nearest man, woman or dog in sight...

Really, looking back my friends could take it or leave it. Whereas after the first drink nothing could stop me. Tough one to deal with as an alcoholic and for me it's hard to be around drinkers. Eventually I found friends slipping away, either cos I embarrassed them or because I didn't think they drank enough so didn't want to go out with them. That's when my drinking alone started big time....

I am just back after a slip, but during my last longer stint of sobriety I found the cinema was always a good option! And it will be again. I did make it to the pub on a few occasions, ordered diet coke or whatever and no one really batted an eyelid. Amazing how an alcoholic watches everyone else's consumption and what they have....I have also made some friends in AA to socialise with and continue to do that.

least

Living a sober life means making changes, and sometimes that means changing your friends.