terryr97

Here he is in a "Tommys Holiday Camp" type crappy rehab that's not spoken well about and he tells my son that he had a newgf and she's awesome. He's, supposedly, 4 months clean from heroin. He said he's told me to move on but I'm in denial. Uh, was he telling me to move on 4 months ago from jail asking me what he should do? Or when he asked me to help him pack and go to rehab? Or maybe it was the 2 letters he sent me after he was there telling me how he wanted us to get back together and that he loved me.

Yes, I was raging pissed off yesterday after I found out but now I realize that every shred of the wonderful guy I fell in love with 4 years ago is gone. I did my time and he's only gotten worse so its time to give it up and start living again. I, and my friends in AA, have an idea who she is and shes far from clean, too. She was my best friend. Obviously, even though he said this rehab was his last chance or he'd end up dying, he knows not to get into a new relationship in the first year so that tells me a lot about his not working the program.

I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm furious, but I'm beaten. He just burned the last bridge he had of someone who would be there for him (all our friends know he's full of it and how much I loved him and how he's screwed me over time and again). It's sad, cos, clean, he's a nice loving guy. Ah well. I'm sure she's awesome cos she doesn't hold him accountable and make him feel guilty. Whatever.

Thanks for letting me vent my frustrations, anger, and sadness.

terryr97

Ugh. Was just re-reading all my old posts. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly? Very slowly for me! Thats cool, though. As long as the lesson is learned. Pathetic.

But, I graduate college in 2 weeks, amazingly. How I ever did it with all the chaos is beyond me. Thank you, God! Feel bad for the ex, and every other addict and alcoholic who's struggling. But that'll be my job, to help them help themselves. Not my life. And, for that, I am grateful. :-)

hopeful4

UGH is right. I am sorry. He is a real peach all right.

It is sad when you realize the person you once loved is gone. However, you are right that is just the case. I hope you focus on the good in your life and move on to what makes you happy!

XXX

story74

Yes, I agree! Focus on the good. Let him go. It's hard. I'm trying to do it as well. It isn't easy not to allow their actions to affect you, especially when a childs well being is in concern...

Ann

Sometimes it takes a jolt like this to accept what is and be ready to move on.

You have a wonderful long life ahead of you, you are about to graduate and the world will be yours. Embrace the adventure and set your sails for better days ahead.

Hugs

terryr97

And a "friend"in the program told me that he posted something on his fb page thanking his exes and friends for showing him who he really is. Thanks. I needed that. Of course I can't see that cos he blocked me from fb in Feb. Personally, if he's got a gf after 4 months and is posting how great his life is, I'd bet he's using. But, ah well, not my business anymore. If he really wanted to burn that bridge, he's certainly done it now. What an idiot. And I'm miserable, as usual. 2 weeks before graduation. He's just the gift that keeps on giving.

I posted on fb that I know he has a girlfriend and she awesome. I know I'm pathetic for staying so long, through all of it, but I thought he loved me as much asi loved him. I was wrong. So I don't want his name mentioned to me again andi promise to suffer in misery, alone, for them. Thanks.

Rant over.