littlebird73

Hi! I've been super busy & have not had time to post lately. Just wanted to post an update I promised. My AH hired a sober companion that has been living with us 2+ weeks now. The SC he hired is very patient, calm, affordable & appears to really be helping my AH. Things have been going really well. I was apprehensive, but it is like a more intense IOP for my AH & has been good for our whole family so far. My AH has been through rehab & IOP before, but this is the first time he has ever talked about a desire to abstain completely from both alcohol & porn. It is also the first time I've ever seen my AH pray everyday (which is weird in a good way) & he's been learning to meditate & skills to work through his anger. He's been choosing new positive activities, going to religious services & connecting to sober friends. The first few days were rough because my AH was really irritable, but gradually I have started to notice small changes I thought I would never see. I don't know if this will last after the SC leaves, but I keep reminding myself I am not alone, that I have a Higher Power, my sponsor, my friends, Al-Anon & you all & whatever happens with my AH I & the kids will be okay. Thanks for all your support. This had been one hell of a year.

Mango blast

It's so good to hear this is working out well for your husband. No matter what happens in the future, it's HUGE to learn how to seek out help and make positive changes in our lives. Sometimes rehab and other programs don't accomplish exactly what we'd like, but can be a break from past habits to open us up to more options ahead.

How are you doing with all this?

honeypig

This is such a huge thing to realize, isn't it? So glad you reached out for help and now have the peace of mind of knowing that your needs will be met and you'll be alright in the end.

allysen

Thanks for updating!

iSPAZ

Sounds like he is making a true effort to change things. Hats off to him and I hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself.

hopeful4

That's a super great update! I hope things continue to go well for all of you!

littlebird73

Thank you all. Reading others experiences on here helped me so much. I'm finding I still need a lot of Al-Anon meetings & other resources. I still worry about him relapsing sometimes. I'm still healing on a lot of levels, too. I just keep going back to, "what is my part in this," & have been doing my best to be calm, positive & take care of myself one day at a time.

Seren

I'm so glad things are continuing to improve, littlebird! What wonderful updates, thank you!

9111111

I'm happy for you! ...and also very very curious - I read your post a while back, but never heard about a sober companion before. If you don't mind me asking - what's a day like when having him in the house?

littlebird73

I'm sure it differs quite a bit with each SC. The man my RAH hired was really soft-spoken, patient & came with an arsenal of workbooks & experience. He slept on a cot & ate with us. He went to work & classes & to exercise with my RAH. I was worried it would be awkward & intrusive, but he was very polite & even though we have a small house & kids it worked out just fine. Our kids loved him. It brought calm to our home. When we did get into a fight, afterward the SC sat us down & helped us talk things through. Sometimes we'd have family meetings, but mostly he worked one-on-one with my RAH. The biggest difference in my RAH besides that he is not drinking & is abstaining from porn, etc, is that he really learned some skills to control & process his anger in a healthier manner. I was also shocked to see him praying regularly. He is still doing follow-up care with the SC by phone & e-mail.