RunnerBean

Hi Guys,

Just wanted to post as I feel absolutely awful. Went on a 3 day vodka binge over Easter weekend and I am usually back to my normal self after 3 days, however, today, I am still wobbly on my feet, tired, and unable to concentrate.

I have college exams in 2 weeks time but I'm finding it awfully hard to study because I feel so down and lonely, and my concentration won't stretch beyond 5 minutes.

I also destroyed a new relationship at the weekend by actually stealing money from her to pay for more alcohol, and ditching her. She has since posted a lot about what I did on social networking sites, so I am terrified to go back into university on Monday now that everyone knows about my shameful actions.

She was actually my only real friend there. I have apologised profusely by the way, but she doesn't want to know me any more, which I can understand.

I guess it's just so saddening and frustrating when you are shocked someone can reciprocate feelings for you, so you immediately hit the self-destruct button.

I just wanted to write some of this down because I have no one to share my pain with. Thank you all

Climber122

Hi Runner,

You are not a bad person - just sick and needing to get well. Try and look at your actions of going on a binge when you didn't want to, stealing and hurting someone else for what they are - symptoms of an addiction, and more "proof" to yourself that action is needed.

That feeling of isolation you feel is part of it too. There are probably some issues in your past and/or present which you learned to cope with by drinking, or it could be genetic or a mix of both. Regardless, there is a solution to this, but you'll need to decide to reach out to someone in the UK who you are able to see in person. Whether you find your local AA chapter or search out a drug and alcohol counselor, if you are really ready for the madness to end then look one of those up.

At your university there surely is a student help/counseling office you could start at. Or do a quick google search for drug and alcohol counselors in your area. Don't be ashamed - addiction is a prevalent disease and anyone in the counseling profession or a recovery group is going to know just how to help you - you aren't the terrible person you suspect you may be. Good luck.

Kuropta13

Break ups can add a whole lot more emotions to being sober. Try to learn from it. Use those mistakes to remember to be better next time.

huntingtontx

I am sorry for your pain. Please turn this into a learning experience and get help. Choose to be sober. You can do this, one day at a time. I hope you reach out and get the help you need. Don't let alcohol ruin your life. We are here for you man.