In Limbo, what to.do ?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 49
In Limbo, what to.do ?
Not sure what.forum to post in because both drugs and alcohol dui but feel drugs are the real problem so here goes:
His hearing for DUI and posession was postponed, but a deal is maybe going to happen. Im not sure I like it at all whats being proposed. We got the referral, saw this specialist who thinks a 30 day rehab and then outpatient is way to go. conflict is plea deal will require alcohol course about two months only once week. one counseling session per week and two aa meetings or equivalent they say for 6 months, plus probation for one year with.random drug testing. Now he thinks this is better option. His attorney already said if he wants to do rehab it will take the place of the counseling and aa. Thinks he can get his cousin the.drug pusher clean by going to aa together. I think he wants the easy way out. if he completes this whole probation then they close it like charges are pending and then wont happen. Huge relief but he has to stay clean. Hes quit before and started again and im afraid it will happen again. He says ok he will work and go outpatient yeah everynight and on saturday. I dont think he can keep it up unless he gets more help right now i dont see him sticking with it.
I dont think he gets the seriousness, he could die, go on using for years if he doesnt stop, our son will get hurt by this as he grows, and I cant be engaged forever to someone who cant commit to work hard and stay off drugs. I know hes scared and thinks oh the court says this will work, but its some mental justification. me, his dad we are willing to sacrifice time and money to help him he feels guilty. But he doesnt get if hes using then hes not available and i give up my time anyway being the only parent plus working. I dont know what makes sense anymore. He starts his alcohol class first of May, the attorney said go ahead get it done because it will for sure be part of it. The rest I need God to drop the answer at our feet .
His hearing for DUI and posession was postponed, but a deal is maybe going to happen. Im not sure I like it at all whats being proposed. We got the referral, saw this specialist who thinks a 30 day rehab and then outpatient is way to go. conflict is plea deal will require alcohol course about two months only once week. one counseling session per week and two aa meetings or equivalent they say for 6 months, plus probation for one year with.random drug testing. Now he thinks this is better option. His attorney already said if he wants to do rehab it will take the place of the counseling and aa. Thinks he can get his cousin the.drug pusher clean by going to aa together. I think he wants the easy way out. if he completes this whole probation then they close it like charges are pending and then wont happen. Huge relief but he has to stay clean. Hes quit before and started again and im afraid it will happen again. He says ok he will work and go outpatient yeah everynight and on saturday. I dont think he can keep it up unless he gets more help right now i dont see him sticking with it.
I dont think he gets the seriousness, he could die, go on using for years if he doesnt stop, our son will get hurt by this as he grows, and I cant be engaged forever to someone who cant commit to work hard and stay off drugs. I know hes scared and thinks oh the court says this will work, but its some mental justification. me, his dad we are willing to sacrifice time and money to help him he feels guilty. But he doesnt get if hes using then hes not available and i give up my time anyway being the only parent plus working. I dont know what makes sense anymore. He starts his alcohol class first of May, the attorney said go ahead get it done because it will for sure be part of it. The rest I need God to drop the answer at our feet .
Last edited by CarrieBear; 04-24-2014 at 01:56 PM. Reason: typing phone
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Carrie, I understand completely your worries, I had them often with my son.
Whether he goes to rehab or meetings and counseling or out patient care...none of these will keep him clean unless he is truly willing.
If he is agreeing to avoid the consequences for his DUI, I'd maybe be concerned for his motive. That said, many have been court ordered to find treatment of some kind and have found the better path and stayed on it.
We don't get to say who makes it with recovery and who doesn't. Even the addicts themselves don't know until they find themselves with some quality clean time behind them.
The best thing you can do is live your life well, protect yourself in case he relapses, and let him find his own way...or not. Their recovery is out of our hands and no matter how much we wish it on them, no matter how much sense it all makes, it just isn't our shot to call.
I hope things go well with him and with you, no matter what he chooses. You can choose to be happy and live a drug free life and then see if he fits into your plans or not.
Hugs
Whether he goes to rehab or meetings and counseling or out patient care...none of these will keep him clean unless he is truly willing.
If he is agreeing to avoid the consequences for his DUI, I'd maybe be concerned for his motive. That said, many have been court ordered to find treatment of some kind and have found the better path and stayed on it.
We don't get to say who makes it with recovery and who doesn't. Even the addicts themselves don't know until they find themselves with some quality clean time behind them.
The best thing you can do is live your life well, protect yourself in case he relapses, and let him find his own way...or not. Their recovery is out of our hands and no matter how much we wish it on them, no matter how much sense it all makes, it just isn't our shot to call.
I hope things go well with him and with you, no matter what he chooses. You can choose to be happy and live a drug free life and then see if he fits into your plans or not.
Hugs
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
