kosi

Has anyone else had this happen.. when I am drunk I black out and have no memory of the night before. I have written awful emails/texts to people.. When I wake up I have such a sense of dread to look what I may have done.. I have made a mess of my life ( I have an understanding husband.. but it takes nothing to convince him to stop for a bottle of wine on the way home.. (actually 2). It is not his fault though.. this is me. Why would I write such things to people? I have people that hate me now.. some I have been able to mend.. (family mainly), others not so much.. thanks for any help..

ScottFromWI

Yes, it's very common during blackouts to say/do/write things you normally wouldn't. There really isn't an answer as to "why" you would do it, but there is a solution to keeping it from ever happening again, which is to quit drinking.

Aellyce

Hi Kosi, yes unfortunately that was one of the most disturbing "side effects" of being a drinker for me. I think many of us experienced versions of this. Strangely though, I had some friends who seemingly really enjoyed my drunken emails, they said it was like reading interesting psycho-horror stories, and missed them when I quit. I don't think they were aware that I wrote all that stuff drunk, definitely not the extent of it. I definitely don't miss the insane interactions I had.

Laura567

I write a lot of **** too, mainly to my boyfriend accusing him of not treating me good which is so very untrue. And I tend to send textmessages to people I hardly have any contact with, suggesting we go out for drinks some day. Really embarrassing to cancel it the nex day and come up with excuses. This is on my list of things I won´t miss with alcohol..

LBrain

I can check that on the list of things I did in the past. More than once!

bloss

Yes I have done many embarrassing things while drunk and in a black out. The only way I stopped doing those drunk texts, calls and so on was to not pick up the first drink of alcohol, no matter what. Took me years and it was the hardest thing I've ever done, but so worth it. Glad you are here with us on SR.

Thepatman

Same here, pretty scary things I have done.

comtnman740

Yep totally understand and one of the reasons why I'm really working at getting sober. I'm still repairing relationships from people that are years damaged. One of the things that I used to do is get on facebook and post ridiculous things to friends (sometimes hurtful). The alcohol amplified my anger sometimes and I said things that I would not say had I been sober.

Most recently I posted some things that relayed to my ex that I was drunk which really stunk to see the next morning. Just remember those things the next time you want to take that 1st drink.

Have a good one!

kosi

Yes, mine have all been mean, hurtful..things I would never normally say.

Hevyn

Welcome kosi. Glad to have you with us.

I did many out-of-character things once it got in my system. That's why I had to stop. Each time I drank it led to danger & an unpredictable outcome. It caused me to become someone I didn't even recognize. It's so good to be free of it.

Leana

What you wrote- is exactly the reason why I quit drinking. I honestly could not face another day of waking up and not remembering the nasty things I did, said, or wrote. I hated that feeling. Hated it. Luckily, for me I hated that more than I liked drinking. It was the number 1 reason I quit drinking. Waking up and knowing what you did the night before...whew...is that a nice feeling!!

Katsmeeyow

Yep me too. I can say this was probably the worst thing I did while drinking. For some reason when I would drink sometimes I'd think it was a great idea to get on the phone with family members and/or friends while I'm three sheets to the wind. I'd have no recollection of what was said the following morning. So embarrassing. At one point in the mornings the first thing I'd do is check my call history and texts to see what damage I did the night before that I didn't remember. What an awful, scary and lonely feeling that was. I didn't have anyone in my close circle of friends that could relate to that, no one who said, "Oh yeah, I did that too, on a regular basis!" Nope. Just me.

Like the others have said, the only way I can guarantee that this won't happen again is not to drink again. Back when I knew I was screwing up, but I didn't want to/wasn't ready to quit drinking yet, I'd keep a notebook and as the night went on and I'd get drunker and drunker, I'd note down the time and what I was doing at that moment. Pretty pathetic that I needed this to look at the next day to see what I did! And the handwriting would turn into this crazy chicken scratch the drunker I got.

I don't miss those days at all, and typing this out helps me keep focused on being sober...I don't ever want to be that person again!

ontherightpath

Am I sure I didn't write this? Lol

Yep all of these posts were me. But over the course of the last year, my angry messages turned into my reaching out because I miss some of my old friends. My husband would say, don't get drunk and reach out to those people, or stop with the a hole texts, u make yourself look like an idiot. He was right.

Facebook, texts, and call lists were the first thing I checked in the morning. And I was continually
Bummed at my less than great performances. In my mind I felt like dr drew, in reality I was just a mess. A scared mess.

Glad that's behind me now. My world of friends has gotten smaller. Some repair can't be done, and that's ok. My life is much calmer today.

lovesymphony

Yes it was bad enough I made a fool of myself a lot but I was starting to hurt other people which made the guilt and remorse 10 times worse

Mountainmanbob

I have noticed that for (almost all) who get sober

these issues concerning the wreckage of our past

seem to improve greatly

MM