amy55

I read both of these stories, and I gotta say they did apply to me.

I was in an abusive relationship. It started slowly. I started to accept the unacceptable, then I started to accept even more. Why? The unacceptable started to become the norm.

Hey, throw in a few breadcrumbs in the meantime. I ate them all up. I became brainwashed, or I don't know, perhaps Stockholm Syndrome. Ok, he hit me, but he didn't really mean to. I gave him that cup that he threw at me, it was my fault. I shouldn't have said that, I knew it would set him off, I just wanted him to see me as a person. It was my fault. Why was I so stupid. I did it again and again and again.

So I search and I seek out someplace where I might feel at home, where I might feel compassion, where I might feel another person reaching out to me.

I then feel again then I am being told that I am stupid, "what is wrong with you?"

I have gotten better, I know that posters are telling me now what I need to hear. Some want the God's honest truth, some want validation, that they are not crazy, some still think they can fix another person. Some just want to talk to others, they isolated themselves so much, they don't know what to think any more.

I really think that it is these posters that we should just hold and give them our love. I don't think they know what that feels like anymore.

DV is a serious matter, and it does serious damage.

ladyscribbler

I was both an intermittent chicken and a frog. My parents raised me as a chicken, and I later turned to frogdom when I was in a relationship with an abusive alcoholic.
Now I am regaining my sense of self. At my meeting today someone shared that before the program, she didn't really know who she was, she was so caught up with the needs of others, and this applies to me as well.
I am finally learning who I am. No more chicken, no more frog (though some days I might be a Grumpy Cat).