alexc1991

I've been on this forum before, received much of the love and support you have all given, for which I am very thankful for. I'm 23 and I was about a month and a week sober before I relapsed. I don't remember quite what my mindset was like when I relapsed. I'm guessing it was the "I bet I can have a few drinks occasionally without developing a problem with alcohol" voice in my head again. I've been drinking the past few months, not as much as I used to, since I was doing it every night before, but drinking a lot more than I should. Drinking a lot of beer, two pints and a couple glasses of wine, whatever it took for me to enjoy the strong buzz from the alcohol. I live with my brother, father, mother, and grandparents. I've hid my drinking from them all, drinking late at night, stashing my liquor away. Waking up with bad hangovers and headaches, but that didn't stop me from drinking, say, a couple days later.

Today, at the peoples house we are house sitting, they have vodka, rum, and a whole collection of other kinds of alcohol. I had a glass of vodka, straight, sitting on the living room table in front of me. My mom (I suspect she knew what I was doing since she knew I had some problems with alcohol) decided to take a casual sip of it, since it looked like water, and she knew what it was. She immediately confessed that she was concerned for me. The mother of the boy that my mom was babysitting had come by to pick her son up. She had said what a lovely young man I was, and that I looked great (since I've lost a lot of weight in the past couple years). And this must have broken my mothers heart because she knew I had this problem with alcohol that no one else knew about. I had this secret demon. So here I am again, wanting to stop. Because if I don't, I know it will snowball into a cycle of alcoholism and just proceed to get worse. Now my mom wants me to go to a meeting, she wants to go with me but I told her I'll feel more comftorable if she wasn't there. I'm up for going to a meeting.

MyTime86

Hey Alex , welcome back. I remember you from a few months ago we join this site about the same time. Glad to see your ready to get back on the wagon, I myself relapse after 83 days of sobriety. Which was really stupid but it happens don't beat your self up just get bad in the swing of things
I think it's good your mom knows now she would be some extra support for you. I'm ten days sober now an even more driven to make this a life long thing. Take the ride with me

b086

i'm 25, been sober since i was 23 thanks to AA. i know it is not for everyone, so feel free to try out other paths. but i can relate strongly to what you wrote and, for me, AA has been an absolute miracle.

you can get and stay sober, it is possible. and i feel confident that your life will begin to change for the better in ways you never imagined...

Hevyn

It's good to see you again alex. I hope it'll help to be back here with us. You're never alone.

fearNloathing

I wish you all the best, I can not even think of what life would have been like not having a few drinks out with my "friends" at your age. You don't want to wake up 15 years later with that same hangover and alone. It all seems like so much fun at the time but that time is fleeting at best. I wish I would have made the decision when I was your age to get serious about getting clean and staying clean. Stay strong you have people here to help who know more about your battle than most.

least

I hope the meetings are helpful to you.

PaulinaPolitely

Go without Mom. You are ready to do it on your own. For You!

savarna

Welcome back

Upward2Enlightenment

Like mytime said don't beat yourself up. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. Plus don't shut your mom out, not saying you need to take her to meetings, but she will be there to support you and help you.