Shel

OK am I really crazy for thinking that this time he might just stay sober?? Jan7 he got his 4th alcohol related driving offense......after 3 months of going thru the courts..he got 30 days in jail 45 days house arrest and 36 months hanging over his head..meaning if he does same or similar he goes to PRISON for 3 years no questions asked! OK we are past the 30days in house...mid july he has to start the home monitor......he was sober form jan 7 (okay maybe 8th depending on how long it took to get him sober..LOL) until June 3rd (approx) ...I really thought he was doin well, then 1 night out with his friends and nearly 5 months of soberity down the drain.....I know he felt terrible about it so I "tried" to be supportative and not judgemental......needless to say it has been all down hill...at least 1 or 2 times per week since then he has been out until 4+am drinking and thinks it's OK becasue he will ahve to start the monitoring and things will be "back to normal" (what is that again?)..at any rate....the same thing happened last night, on our way home from a ball game he wanted to stop a meet a friend to get money ...of course it was at the bar...I told him the onlly way we are stopping is if he goes in and comes right back out....we (my kids and I ) were not waiting in the car for him to have a beer .....well then it was "forget it " like all of a sudden it wasn't important any longer ...so we go home ..about an hour later he is asking my son to take him there to get this money.....he then asks me if it is ok..I said fine but don't make him wait for you.....well my son went and came back without him...said that he would call when he was ready for a ride home..WHAT !!! I said don't worry about it you are not picking him up....I then called his cell and told him that my son is NOT a taxi and he will not be picking him up. Well he called at 430 am ..hung up before I could answer, and didn't arrive home until after 11 this morning.......now calls (at 230pm)and is mad at me because I am still going thru with the plans we had tonight........then says call your exhusband and maybe he can go ......WHAT IS UP WITH THIS??? He knows he screwed up so can anyone tell me WHY it is my fault that he got drunk and missed work (AGAIN) and can't get his a$$ out of bed? Sorry for rambling I am just at work and feels good to get it out becasue I am VERY pissed right now...my problem is I cannot afford mortgage/cars/bills that we have together by myself...I do love him but have told him SEVERAL times I am not doing this again.....part of me wants to ignore because I know saying anything doesn't help but the other part wants to kick his a$$..........any thoughts or suggestions/insight would be helpful ...and again thanks for letting me VENT!!

Lorelai

Shel -
Vent away (we've all been there) and welcome to SR.

Keep reading and posting. It will get better. There are many people on this site that are living with thier alcoholic spouse and still have a great life. It may sound impossible right now but, please believe me, it is possible.

Stick around - I'm glad you're here.
L

Lorelai

Oh and no, you're not crazy. Crazy situation maybe but us crazy? No way.
:crazy:

Alexia

Sometimes the bottom is farther down than you think. I had a friend who ran through 12 DUI's and four jail stints, the last one 18 months before he finally quit.

Just take care of yourself because you cant control his problem, nor fix it.

moonkat

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.

A's will try to manipulate us, control us and make us feel guilty because we think they are doing wrong. I am by far no expert on relationships, but been dealing with A spouse for last 15 years.

Learn to take care of you, don't show him that his actions get to you, that is what he expects you to do. Just one time react differently to his actions and see how crazy that makes him.

My husband can't stand it when I don't react predictibly to his little games.

Keep reading the posts here, they help me.

bookworm

Oh wow, moonkat - you said it...G just hates it when I don't take his bait!

Shel, good for you for standing up for your son. You are not crazy - you're doing just fine; and don't forget it's...

ALWAYS YOUR FAULT!!

HugZ
Sandra

Shel

Thanks...........I will have you know when I got home he was gone.....called at 630 this morning for a ride, then said he would call a cab..there was silence..I asked what he wanted me to do and he said come and get him I said I have to get ready for work and hung up...he called back an hour later (as I was leaving ) so I was ready ...I did pick him up but not much was said...he is home AGAIN from work...but you are right my reaction is different .,....he called and asked if I still loved him I said yes ...then he went into the I don't feel goods..etc.......

thanks AGAIN all~

myles1

He wants to make you think you are crazy because he screwed up.

Ngaire