blessed4x

5 years ago I divorced my AH, remarried him shortly after because he "changed". He went to AA for about a year, went to church with the family, was fully engaged in being a great husband and dad. He stayed sober for 4 years. It was truly the best 4 years of our almost 27 year marriage. About a year ago I noticed he was more distant and angry. I graduated with my Master's and a week later he came to me and said he wanted a divorce. He was drinking again (according to him) because I was distant and did not do enough around the house......you know, blah, blah, blah. He slept on the couch for a couple weeks, told me a divorce wasn't really what he wanted, and we kissed and made up. I was not about to beg him to stay, which I feel like now was what he was after. I told him then if he wanted out he knew where the door was. I feel the same today.

So now, a year later, he is drinking at least 5 days a week. I used to count his consumption. He was up to a 30 pack a day plus a fifth of vodka when we divorced. I have no idea now, and it doesn't really matter, but I would guess he picked up where he left off.

I don't even know what I want from you all....thanks for letting me put it out there. It helps to know there are people who understand.

Mango blast

I'm so sorry you're going through this again! Have you been going to Alanon or have other recovery support for yourself?
Has he done any kind of rehab program or individual counseling?

Pelican

I am sorry this happened.

It is nice to *see* you again!

Please make yourself comfortable by reading, posting and venting when needed. We are here for you!

blessed4x

Yes, I'm heading back to Alanon. Thought I would start here. It was such a huge support the last go around. Just getting honest with myself is a good start. I Absolutely know I will be fine. I think that's what is different this time. There is less unknown. The biggest difference is that there won't be another chance if it gets to the point of divorce again. I suspect he has some health issues. He was hospitalized in January for what they said was diverticulitis...abrupt onset of lower abdominal pain. I was never there when the doctors came in. Why do they visit at the crack of dawn?! Anyway...he didn't release his medical records to me so I have no idea what they really told him. He has a lot of fatigue. My cousin called today after seeing him at Easter dinner asking why his skin was so dark red and why he seemed depressed. So....either way, I don't see this ending pretty. Thank you so, so much for being here for me. I also love *seeing* familiar *faces* as well as new ones.

FeelingGreat

Hi blessed, as an alcoholic I can tell you I would start gradually again after giving up, and the consumption level would only go in one direction until I was back where I started, or worse. So you sort of know your future.

CodeJob

Miss Beth, although you might be back, it sounds like you have a tool box to tinker and deal with this situation. You might even have a manual. Well heck you might even know a good lawyer!

Hugs and welcome!

dandylion

blessed---As you well know....the disease is always lurking....waiting for an opportunity to raise it's ugly head. If he has been in AA--he knows this also. It is his job to work his program and be ever vigilant.

You gotta do what you gotta do.

dandylion

LoveMeNow

I am so sorry for the reasons that have brought you back here. But I want to thank you for sharing with such honestly. I really needed to read this today. It's a great reminder for me to keep my resolve. I can not and will not get back on this merry go round ever again. I know for my husband, it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. BTDT, one too many times.

Keeping you all in my prayers.