JimJim

I'm packing some stuff, gonna head to the bus station and go homeless. I need the change, and I think I'm gonna need this community more than ever. I'm gonna be here more often for sure. See you in a bit...

CaptainPolaris

Im confused. Go homeless as a choice? Why? Im confused

Dee74

I hope that was auto correct and you meant home and not homeless Jim?

D

CaptainPolaris

That makes more sense

Jeni26

Hi Jim. So good to see you posting. I too hope that you're headed home. A new start and a regular presence on SR sounds just what you need.

There's a lot of us here who have been thinking of you x

soberclover

Glad to see you around and hope you are doing ok!

Sulu1

Look after yourself JimJim

HeadLump

We're here for you, Jim. Just reach out

JimJim

I packed my stuff, I just didn't have the balls to do it. Yeh I meant homeless. I'm considering the same tonight.

I spoke to my sister over the phone tonight, she says she gets too upset to see how unhappy I am and that she doesn't want contact with me anymore because it's too horrible, painfull and sad for her to witness my demise over the last 2 years and what I have become now.

For a moment I thought she was being incredibly selfish for abandoning me, then I felt a boiling rage within myself and couldn't carry on talking to her, complete hatred and anger. So much I could bite into and eat my own flesh! Because I know it's my fault.

Needless to say I started guzzling my stolen bottles of wine like a man that hasn't had a drink of water for hours after a hard day's labour. I'm just gonna throw out some skeletons here. I'm three sheets to the wind but I think there aint gonna be agood time to spill the beans and fix this. I've been waiting a long time for the right time.

I'm really getting too smashed to talk as always and I really apologise to people I don't respond too 'cus that's usually the case.

After working so hard to get away after many years I find myself back in a council house shared with my parents. It's not a good relationship at all. I'm only here for convenience. My dad was physically abusive to me as a child for which I have great anger towards him. My mother as much as she thinks she is helping me, is a small- minded irrational, maqnipualtive cow. I don't want to sound like an un-gratified brat living with his parents. These people fight and call each other names that can't be repeatable here. They co habit and are desperately unhappy and unaware themselves. It's not a suitable living environment.

You might tell me to put down the drink, but I need to get the hell and away out of here! I'm considering the backpack and bus stop option.

JimJim

Yeh reading my own post, I do sound like an ungrateful ****! No, I need away from here. Screw blaming your environment for your drinking. This is fuel to the fire being here. I can't help think a backpack is the solution.

least

I hope you can put the bottle down and eventually find another place to live.

Mags1

Hi Jim sorry things aren't going well. Hope it gets better for you soon.

Jeni26

Jim...are they the only 2 options? Being with your parents or homeless?

With the amount you've been drinking, you would qualify for a detox or rehab facility.

Could a third option be that you go to your doctor and be honest about your alcoholism. Instead of rushing out that door tonight, make a plan for tomorrow about getting sober. Your parents sound toxic...I don't blame you for wanting to leave...but the streets? Some don't make it back from there Jim. Please stay safe.

JimJim

I worry about homelessness too, but I think it's like the gazelle. It wont run unless there's a threat. Maybe that's what it's gonna take. I'm too enabled here. I have had so much advice here, I'm killing myself for sure with the amount I'm drinking. I need that gazelle that's being hunted moment, to run. I thought going backpack on the street would be that.

Thepatman

I don't think going homeless is a good step towards recovery.
If you are drunk your objectivity is unfortunately blurred and distorted.

Last saturday I relapsed and was in a very dark place. With just 2 little days between me and the Alcohol poison I feel more hopeful to dig myself out.

I know 2 days is not much, but it means a lot to me. Start putting distance between the bottle and you, easy? Nope, not at all, a better solution than drinking myself to death? Dam right it is.

Keep faith, try to rest and drink a bit of water.

JimJim

I'm too drunk here too, I'm gonna make a fool of myself. I will be here one day to say I'm free from this drinking hell. That's why I keep coming back.

JimJim

I could really eat my self right now. Sickened bastard. I'm done being here for now.

Jeni26

Jim..try this website

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/drugs/Pages/Drugshome.aspx

It gives advice on where to get help in the UK.

I can understand you wanting to break free of that enabling atmosphere, but the streets are a tough choice. Not many would make that move when there were other options to look into.

I would love to see you posting to say you had got free of it too...the chances of you doing that are higher if you stay close to SR, and keep a roof over your head, than if you turn your back on any support at all.

Aah Jim...you've been around SR as long as I have. It really is possible to break free of this, but you've gotta be willing to accept help.

And yeah...you've gotta let go of that bottle

Jeni26

Double post

Sulu1

Hey Jim,

There are more options out there than going homeless. The NHS can refer you to places that will detox and rehab you and help you get back on your feet. You can also go to the ER.

I really don't think going on the streets is the answer Jim.

Now might be the time to reach out mate. We all know you can do it...