Questions about AA
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: fl
Posts: 84
Questions about AA
So, I went to my second meeting today. It was pretty emotional. 3 people were there because they had relapsed. It brought up a lot of stuff in me as this is day 2, again. But, my question is, how does it work? Not in the ethereal sense, but functionally. Do I attend a few meetings before I get a sponsor? How do I get a sponsor, ask them or wait to be asked? Should I read the book before I start the steps? Do I need a sponsor to do the steps? I thought I would ask here because so many have done the program. I am going to try to go again tomorrow but time may get in the way, Wednesday for sure.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,028
I say, just keep going to meetings, every day if you can, and do what seems right. Share during meetings if you can. Go a bit early and hang around after -- soon you'll recognize people and it won't all seem so strange. I wouldn't be in a terrific hurry to "do" anything -- except, don't drink, and go to meetings. That's a lot, at first!
Great job on Day 2!
Great job on Day 2!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: St. Petersburg, FL
Posts: 20
Jill!
Congrats! I am not an authority about sobriety, nor is anyone in AA. We just want each other to taste the enjoyments of living a life clean & free. Today, you did the right thing, both going to a meeting, and asking questions that you are not sure the answers to. My opinion is to continue going to meetings as often as you can. Even if you do not feel comfortable to speak, just go to be around others who can bring you comfort in the fact that they have been where you have been. AA recommends that you get a sponsor soon...try to find someone who seems solid, try to find someone who you feel speaks to you. When you do feel ready, ask that person to sponsor you. They will be honored, I'm sure you will find. They will then take you through the steps at a pace they deem good for you.
I wish you the best of luck, and if you have any questions, continue to ask either in meetings, to a specific person, or the group at large...or, of course, on here. Keep doing the next right thing, and you should find your life continuously improving. But don't rush it. Just remember that sobriety will always be better for your life than relying on some external chemical or drug to make you feel whole.
God bless!
- Rich
Congrats! I am not an authority about sobriety, nor is anyone in AA. We just want each other to taste the enjoyments of living a life clean & free. Today, you did the right thing, both going to a meeting, and asking questions that you are not sure the answers to. My opinion is to continue going to meetings as often as you can. Even if you do not feel comfortable to speak, just go to be around others who can bring you comfort in the fact that they have been where you have been. AA recommends that you get a sponsor soon...try to find someone who seems solid, try to find someone who you feel speaks to you. When you do feel ready, ask that person to sponsor you. They will be honored, I'm sure you will find. They will then take you through the steps at a pace they deem good for you.
I wish you the best of luck, and if you have any questions, continue to ask either in meetings, to a specific person, or the group at large...or, of course, on here. Keep doing the next right thing, and you should find your life continuously improving. But don't rush it. Just remember that sobriety will always be better for your life than relying on some external chemical or drug to make you feel whole.
God bless!
- Rich
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
Good news you are attending meetings.
If you have a copy of the Big Book and a 12x12 book,have a read of them.
I know different areas have different ways of doing things,some meetings,the chairperson will ask if anybody is looking for a sponsor,other meetings you ask someone yourself.The sooner you get a sponsor the better.You need a sponsor to work through the steps with.
As has already been said if you get to a meeting early and stay around after,you will soon get to know people.Of course that is easier said than done,at my early meetings I was last in and first out!
I wish you well.
If you have a copy of the Big Book and a 12x12 book,have a read of them.
I know different areas have different ways of doing things,some meetings,the chairperson will ask if anybody is looking for a sponsor,other meetings you ask someone yourself.The sooner you get a sponsor the better.You need a sponsor to work through the steps with.
As has already been said if you get to a meeting early and stay around after,you will soon get to know people.Of course that is easier said than done,at my early meetings I was last in and first out!
I wish you well.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 556
There are many different types of meetings,Jill.
Discussion, speaker, big book study, step study, tradition study,women only, gay, open, closed, birthdays, etc
In the beginning, if you are feeling shy, look on line for women's meetings. You can ask for a temporary sponsor to help you until you find the person who you feel both works a good program and can walk you through the steps. I would then attend as many big book studies as you can, speaker meetings are enlightening, birthday meetings are encouraging, open meetings-anyone can attend, closed meetings are only for people with the desire to quit drinking.
If you go on-line and find your local chapter, call them up and ask when the next step study in your area begins. They usually run 1x week for 13 or 14 weeks. If you relapse during the study, you have to start all over.
Discussion, speaker, big book study, step study, tradition study,women only, gay, open, closed, birthdays, etc
In the beginning, if you are feeling shy, look on line for women's meetings. You can ask for a temporary sponsor to help you until you find the person who you feel both works a good program and can walk you through the steps. I would then attend as many big book studies as you can, speaker meetings are enlightening, birthday meetings are encouraging, open meetings-anyone can attend, closed meetings are only for people with the desire to quit drinking.
If you go on-line and find your local chapter, call them up and ask when the next step study in your area begins. They usually run 1x week for 13 or 14 weeks. If you relapse during the study, you have to start all over.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 556
Heath as good advise, I get as much out of the meeting after the meeting as the meeting itself. Lots of groups meet afterwards in a coffee shop or dinner. If they do, tag right along. Members know and remember how scary those first meetings can be, until you find a buddy or two.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
A.A. Myths: The Myth of Sponsorship - Big Book Sponsorship
read this ^ at all of the meetings I attend the home group asks members with a year or more of sobriety who are willing to sponsor a newcomer to raise their hand. find a temporary sponsor to help you out in the beginning. if you agreeable to this person keep him/her. read the books and get a feel for everything. A "sponsor's job" is to help guide you through the steps. Not to dictate to you your every life move. If at any time you feel uncomfortable with a "sponsor" find a new one. The first many people who went through the AA steps did it without a sponsor. We make it more complicated than it really needs to be.
read this ^ at all of the meetings I attend the home group asks members with a year or more of sobriety who are willing to sponsor a newcomer to raise their hand. find a temporary sponsor to help you out in the beginning. if you agreeable to this person keep him/her. read the books and get a feel for everything. A "sponsor's job" is to help guide you through the steps. Not to dictate to you your every life move. If at any time you feel uncomfortable with a "sponsor" find a new one. The first many people who went through the AA steps did it without a sponsor. We make it more complicated than it really needs to be.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I got a sponsor as soon as I could because I could not last long without drinking again. He had worked the steps of AA and he showed me how to to the same. Do not try and work the steps by yourself especially as a newcomer, it would be like trying to be a counselor to yourself. I recovered from the mental obsession and now I just don't drink, nice and simple.
The steps are also an ongoing process, a design for living if you like, as we need help learning to live an honest, fruitful life.
The steps themselves are best described in the 12&12 which you will be able to buy at most AA meetings.
The steps are also an ongoing process, a design for living if you like, as we need help learning to live an honest, fruitful life.
The steps themselves are best described in the 12&12 which you will be able to buy at most AA meetings.
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