justinJustQuit

So today I have a very hard obstacle in my sobriety. Going to sister in law's birthday party. I'm sure there will be alcohol there.

If anyone has read my previous posts, they'll know this is where I always cave in to alcohol. Strangely, I can turn down alcohol at the party, but I can't seem to avoid the liquor store on the way home from the party. I'm at damn near a month sober, and I don't want to ruin it. It's not at night time, so I think this will help. It's in one hour from now and goes until 5:00 (AKA, prime drinking hours)

My options are: flake out and not go, or take my own car and try to white knuckle it and get home without picking up.

Anyone have any other suggestions? I'm trying not to get into the mentality of expecting myself to fail, I'm trying to get past today and tomorrow so I'm back into my routine. Being in my routine makes sobriety much easier.

Stoogy

I really wish there was a magical answer to this I really do, personally I just rough through it and abstain at all times, not a great answer but it's all I've got my friend. Be strong, sober and happy👍

LadyBlue0527

I do indeed have a suggestion. Take all of us with you. That's right, it's a little squished but we're all in your pockets. Try it out, it works.

I take you guys all out with me when it's an iffy situation.

If you don't think that you can make it through this don't torture yourself, it's not worth it!

Noolan

Leave your ID or means of paying for it at home?

MsJax

I vote for staying home today. There is peace in knowing you have put yourself and your recovery first.

SeekingGrowth

I'm with MsJax. To use your words, "flake out" and don't go. There will be other birthday parties. It's not the end of the world if you miss this one - your sobriety is SO much more important than this event. You have almost a whole month sober, which is SO great, but is still so early. You said that this is the kind of situation where you always cave - sounds like your AV is planning your relapse. Don't go.

Anna

Don't go.

Like you, I could white-knuckle it through a party (though it was awful), but the next morning I'd be out as early as possible buying wine.

I stayed away from places where alcohol was being served. For the first time in my life, I put my needs ahead of others. It was awesome!

justinJustQuit

I agree that I should not go, but how long do I have to NOT be around alcohol? Its inevitable at some point.

MsJax

Justin, when I got sober I didn't go to any party type events for about 5-6 months.

Karma2014

Hi. I'm Scott and I'm an alcoholic. For what it's worth, my opinion differs from the previous two posts. I'd take the white knuckle route. Mind you, this is what I would do.

It's a big world out there and sooner or later you're going to be in situations where there is drinking. You're not going to escape that forever.

You realize it's a trigger, own it. Take control and don't take that first drink. In my case, if I'm white knuckling thinking about picking up, I fall back on fear. The fear of where that first drink will lead me. The fear of realizing what the aftermath and result will be. The fear of losing control and having to regain sobriety all over again.

For me, I do not wish to ever have a hangover again, or to detox from a drinking spree. Fear of those keeps me somewhat sane and gets me through it.

That's all!

Holli

Make the obligatory appearance then leave, go home, and rent a movie you haven't gotten around to seeing, or catch up on everything you have DVRd, curled up in bed, with chocolate? Cheesecake? Just kidding about the last, but sometimes we have to do family obligations, although your situation may be different.

ReadyAtLast

I would not go. Why put yourself in that position where you know it will trigger you. Of course you can't avoid alcohol events forever but you can do your pretty darn best to avoid them in the first few hard vulnerable weeks of sobriety

If you know these events always trigger you why take a chance?

justinJustQuit

I've avoided MY side of the family for over 6 months because they are all alcoholics. Her side of the family (where the event today is) are not. I would have to guess there will be booze around though since people associate getting trashed and puking to having a good time for some stupid reason.

Holli

Two cars, leave early?

justinJustQuit

Yeah that's what I'm going to do.

Amazingglazier

Excellent Suggestion Lady! I think I will use that , Thanx! Happy Easter Everyone! Stay Strong and Wel ! Bobby

Amazingglazier

justin, Alcohol is everywhere, it's just not ours to partake of! Happy Easter! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

Mags1

Hi justin, it doesn't stay forever, I was out last night and when I did drink in the past I wouldn't usually drink until I got home as I could drink as much as I wanted at home, so I usually waited till I got home.

I avoided places with alcohol when I first stopped, I thought about it constantly, temptation was everywhere and I noticed it more because I'd stopped, it was almost like it was tempting me, drink me, drink me.

It does get better, stick with it and if you think you're gonna drink when you get home, that's your temptation, don't do it. Have a plan and go with it, it's hard and, heck, it tempts the hell out of us,but really really really, it does get better.

So much better that you can have a full life after booze, imagine that! I was really convinced there could not be a life without alcohol. How pleased I am that I've stopped.

Give it your best shot, so to speak, you won't look back for to long, only glance once in a while.

justinJustQuit

Well people are having a couple beers but nothing hard liquor like I used to have. The worst thing is the unopened bottle of rum on a shelf. As long as no one breaks that out I'll be fine.

Holli

Sounds like its time to start thinking about how to beg off and go home and relax, :-)