Jillian2563

I've realized that even though I really want to quit and change my life, there is still a part if me that thinks I can have just one. Or that I'm not an alcoholic.

When will I realize that I can't drink!

Starting over today. I pray that I stay sober from here on out. Yet I have doubts

Dee74

Everyone has a different timetable Jillian.

I do know that we get out of our recovery what we put into it tho.

I like this fable. It speaks to me about recovery.
Feed the part of you that doesn't want to drink again, Jillian - find more support and make more changes to your life, perhaps?

D

Thepatman

I think leaving drinking open for internal discussion is what prevented me from maintaining permanent sobriety.

Many here with longevity in their sobriety succeeded because they closed the door completely. Leaving a crack open has always failed me.

neferkamichael

Jillian2563, please be aware that the part of you saying, "I can have just one", is just trying to trick you too continue using. The AV voice will diminish with time sober. Rootin for ya.

Jillian2563

Thanks Dee, that made me tear up, in a good way

Pat, that exactly what I've been struggling with, closing the door altogether. But I know that's what I need to do.

Jillian2563

Thanks Egypt!

Mags1

Hi Jillian2563, I thought the same, keep reading on sr, it learnt me a lot about our addictive voice, similar to the two wolves, in a roundabout way.

One experience I read from a member of sr, which stays with me, she was sober 25 years and was offered a glass of wine and thought 'why not' but it didn't stop at one.

I believe the position I'm in, as others whose experiences I've read, just one drink is one too many.

MIRecovery

When it finally became obvious to me was when I suffered acute withdrawal by accidently not drinking enough and wound up in a hospital after nearly dieing

The good news is you do not have to get that bad. You have a choice today to make things better or worse

least

For me, I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink.

Compass7

I feel the same Jillian. I always came up with a reason to have that one, but it always leads me to more. It feels like too much separation-life change to tell myself completely no more, I quit (like my AV is telling me no you wanna leave that option open you know you do). I feel like I'm missing out on so much without drinking, but want to realize I would have more without it. I had someone tell me from SR to picture a me that doesn't drink at all under any circumstances no matter what. I always use the oh just this concert, oh just this holiday...but that's a line of crap!

Amazingglazier

Jillian , no matter how many times or how long I stopped for , that one sent me off to the races, downhill I might add! You know if your on here you want to stop the madness! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

FeenixxRising

For many of us it takes time to come to terms with this realization. To help myself with this I used a worksheet from SMART Recovery called the Cost Benefit Analysis (CBA) for drinking. On the worksheet you list the advantages of "drinking", and then the disadvantages of drinking. You then do the same for "not drinking".

After you've completed it, you should "realize" there are far too many disadvantages to drinking and, in turn, many, many advantages to not drinking.

I highly recommend using this worksheet, it only takes 20 minutes or so. You find it on the SMART website under "Resources">"Tools & Homework"> CBA worksheet.

Anna

Yes, Jillian, when you close the door firmly, something will happen. You will relax and your mind will begin to find new and healthy ways to get through life. It's all about the motivation.