Back to step 1
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
Back to step 1
Another relapse. Plan to write in my journal around step 1, maybe also 2 and 3 today. Anyone have any worksheets/guides they've used for the steps? Or just the BB/12x12?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
Posts: 813
The best "Guide" would be a sponsor who can teach you
the steps she worked as outlined in the first 164 Pages of the BB.
Self teaching doesn't work well with textbooks, which the BB is.
When you went to school your teachers didn't give you a list
of textbooks and send you home, you had to go to class and be
taught the meat & potatoes of the texts.
What you need to stop relapsing is a psychic change sufficient
to recover from alcoholism as a result of completing all the steps
with a person who has done them.
God speed.............
the steps she worked as outlined in the first 164 Pages of the BB.
Self teaching doesn't work well with textbooks, which the BB is.
When you went to school your teachers didn't give you a list
of textbooks and send you home, you had to go to class and be
taught the meat & potatoes of the texts.
What you need to stop relapsing is a psychic change sufficient
to recover from alcoholism as a result of completing all the steps
with a person who has done them.
God speed.............
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
I concur with UM...get a good sponsor. He/she will help you with the step and also help provide a saftey net during the early weeks/months. It took me six months to get my first, second and third step with tons of work. Yeah, I said I had achieved them in the first month but I was not being totally honest.
I find most of us, myself included want and easy fix to this probelm. The problem is that is the mindset that got most of us into this mess to begin with. Herein is the psychic change that I found I needed.
Good luck.
I find most of us, myself included want and easy fix to this probelm. The problem is that is the mindset that got most of us into this mess to begin with. Herein is the psychic change that I found I needed.
Good luck.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I like Dr Bobs story which throws another light on this. You will recall that Bob did not get sober first time around. One of his problems was that he did not understand what it meant to be an alcoholic. The powerlessness thing. He still thought he could pick and choose what he did.
He took all the steps as they then were, but refused to make his amends. He got drunk. He made his amends, then never drank again.
This relentless return to the first step, then 2,3,4 again, to me misses the point. In the same way that step 4 is the action of step 3, all steps are the action from step one and two.
It comes back to powerlessness, lack of choice. The reservation that Bob had was that he did not need to make amends, he thought he had a choice in that. When he accepted that he must do his amends, and actually did it, he accepted step one in its entirety.
When someone slipped it was the practice to continue to work with the individual to find out why. The common causes in the book are around steps 4, 5, and 9. Incomplete housekeeping. Holding something back in step five, for example, indicates the candidate thinks he can, so is not powerless on that one point. Completing the housecleaning properly shows acceptance of step one and true powerlessness.
Going back to the start and working all other steps completely again and again, but holding on to that one thing, will always bring the same result. It's the one thing that's causing the failure, and that's what we should be looking for.
He took all the steps as they then were, but refused to make his amends. He got drunk. He made his amends, then never drank again.
This relentless return to the first step, then 2,3,4 again, to me misses the point. In the same way that step 4 is the action of step 3, all steps are the action from step one and two.
It comes back to powerlessness, lack of choice. The reservation that Bob had was that he did not need to make amends, he thought he had a choice in that. When he accepted that he must do his amends, and actually did it, he accepted step one in its entirety.
When someone slipped it was the practice to continue to work with the individual to find out why. The common causes in the book are around steps 4, 5, and 9. Incomplete housekeeping. Holding something back in step five, for example, indicates the candidate thinks he can, so is not powerless on that one point. Completing the housecleaning properly shows acceptance of step one and true powerlessness.
Going back to the start and working all other steps completely again and again, but holding on to that one thing, will always bring the same result. It's the one thing that's causing the failure, and that's what we should be looking for.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Essex
Posts: 411
Lilac
It genuinely only helps to have someone who can guide you through this, preferably using the Big Book as a guide.
Have done many steps ones based on reams of writing, about powerlessness, and unmanageability and the manifestation of both in active alcoholism. What I actually needed was something very much more straightforward, that didn't mean months of ruminating on one step....and then another a few months later...and so on ad infinitum.
The thing that helped me most? Having a sponsor who knew how to guide me through the BB to do the steps as laid out there, and do so swiftly. Genuinely, nothing has helped me more in recognising obsession as it applies to alcohol, and increasingly, where those bugging thoughts can crop up elsewhere. It is truly liberating, and can only recommend you do the same.
Wish you well. Huge hug to you. This can be overcome, and we can only do it together.
It genuinely only helps to have someone who can guide you through this, preferably using the Big Book as a guide.
Have done many steps ones based on reams of writing, about powerlessness, and unmanageability and the manifestation of both in active alcoholism. What I actually needed was something very much more straightforward, that didn't mean months of ruminating on one step....and then another a few months later...and so on ad infinitum.
The thing that helped me most? Having a sponsor who knew how to guide me through the BB to do the steps as laid out there, and do so swiftly. Genuinely, nothing has helped me more in recognising obsession as it applies to alcohol, and increasingly, where those bugging thoughts can crop up elsewhere. It is truly liberating, and can only recommend you do the same.
Wish you well. Huge hug to you. This can be overcome, and we can only do it together.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
Originally Posted by Gottalife 
This relentless return to the first step, then 2,3,4 again, to me misses the point. In the same way that step 4 is the action of step 3, all steps are the action from step one and two.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
Originally Posted by Pipefish
Lilac
It genuinely only helps to have someone who can guide you through this, preferably using the Big Book as a guide.
Have done many steps ones based on reams of writing, about powerlessness, and unmanageability and the manifestation of both in active alcoholism. What I actually needed was something very much more straightforward, that didn't mean months of ruminating on one step....and then another a few months later...and so on ad infinitum.
It genuinely only helps to have someone who can guide you through this, preferably using the Big Book as a guide.
Have done many steps ones based on reams of writing, about powerlessness, and unmanageability and the manifestation of both in active alcoholism. What I actually needed was something very much more straightforward, that didn't mean months of ruminating on one step....and then another a few months later...and so on ad infinitum.
Ok, remember the powerlessness and unmanageability but get to the housecleaning pronto to avoid relapse! I can do this...if I can find a female around here to be a sponsor!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
Posts: 813
You can limit your search to a Step Sponsor. That way you simply
say "I am seeking a Step Sponsor to take me through the steps as
prescribed in the BB. Have you done them that way ? How long did it
take you to finish them all ?"
Their answer will tell you all you need to know. If it is not
what you are looking for just say thanks and move on to the next
person. Also, ask HP to direct you to the teacher you need before
you start your search. Your prayer will be answered........
say "I am seeking a Step Sponsor to take me through the steps as
prescribed in the BB. Have you done them that way ? How long did it
take you to finish them all ?"
Their answer will tell you all you need to know. If it is not
what you are looking for just say thanks and move on to the next
person. Also, ask HP to direct you to the teacher you need before
you start your search. Your prayer will be answered........
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
Originally Posted by UncleMeat69
You can limit your search to a Step Sponsor. That way you simply
say "I am seeking a Step Sponsor to take me through the steps as
prescribed in the BB. Have you done them that way ? How long did it
take you to finish them all ?"
Their answer will tell you all you need to know. If it is not
what you are looking for just say thanks and move on to the next
person. Also, ask HP to direct you to the teacher you need before
you start your search. Your prayer will be answered........
say "I am seeking a Step Sponsor to take me through the steps as
prescribed in the BB. Have you done them that way ? How long did it
take you to finish them all ?"
Their answer will tell you all you need to know. If it is not
what you are looking for just say thanks and move on to the next
person. Also, ask HP to direct you to the teacher you need before
you start your search. Your prayer will be answered........
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
Originally Posted by lilac0721
Another relapse. Plan to write in my journal around step 1, maybe also 2 and 3 today. Anyone have any worksheets/guides they've used for the steps? Or just the BB/12x12?
I got a great guide for you, its called the Alcoholics Anonymous book, aka The Big Book. Start at the front, go to page 164. There is a reason why 50% of the book is on the first few steps. It might be quite important to understand, but in order to stay sober on a day by day basis, action and more action is required, finishing all 12 steps. Then passing it onto others.
All the knowledge in the world will never keep an alcoholic sober.
All the meetings in the world will never keep an alcoholic sober.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 405
In the reality of my truth, I found my big book and started at the beginning. I sat with my book, a pen and paper and began with a new start.
Me and God. (and some excellent AA members that have recorded directions)!
I read, prayed, wrote, and listened.
I followed the words and wrote out inventory and prayed the prayers that were suggested. I follow the suggestions in the pages of this book daily.
Lilac, you are no newcomer. You have been at this for awhile.
The only one that stops us from progressing through the steps is us.
Are you willing to do all the steps with your book and a pen and paper, and a new level of willingness and an open mind?
I heard Sandy B. mention the idea that we try this one time...one complete attempt, and compare this new way of life with our old one.
We must finish what we start...and that was the hardest part for me. I want the easier, softer, way. I'm lazy.
Matt, this thread last entry was April. Hoping to hear from Lilac soon.
Me and God. (and some excellent AA members that have recorded directions)!
I read, prayed, wrote, and listened.
I followed the words and wrote out inventory and prayed the prayers that were suggested. I follow the suggestions in the pages of this book daily.
Lilac, you are no newcomer. You have been at this for awhile.
The only one that stops us from progressing through the steps is us.
Are you willing to do all the steps with your book and a pen and paper, and a new level of willingness and an open mind?
I heard Sandy B. mention the idea that we try this one time...one complete attempt, and compare this new way of life with our old one.
We must finish what we start...and that was the hardest part for me. I want the easier, softer, way. I'm lazy.
Matt, this thread last entry was April. Hoping to hear from Lilac soon.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 296
Maybe you should understand step 1 first.
Go over step 1 as its laid out in the Big Book with your sponsor.
Just 43 pages out of 103. Kind of important stuff.
Obsession of the mind we can deal with.
Allergy of the body we can not deal with.
Cravings start once you take that first drink, and cravings get stronger with each drink you take. This is the foundation and understanding of step 1. If you dont know this information, time to do a 2 on 1, or maybe do a big book study or listen to Joe and Charlie tapes.
Go over step 1 as its laid out in the Big Book with your sponsor.
Just 43 pages out of 103. Kind of important stuff.
Obsession of the mind we can deal with.
Allergy of the body we can not deal with.
Cravings start once you take that first drink, and cravings get stronger with each drink you take. This is the foundation and understanding of step 1. If you dont know this information, time to do a 2 on 1, or maybe do a big book study or listen to Joe and Charlie tapes.
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