Back on SR
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Québec Canada
Posts: 46
Back on SR
It's been awhile and I was thinking nothing's change but I think some things have changed in the past 7 months...
We're in couples therapy (been for a year now) and our therapist finally confronted the AH and clearly stated that my AH has a drinking problem... I felt like saying "No sh$t Sherlock! But I didn't, and I have to say that this therapist is not an addictions therapist, and confronting an alcoholic is not always the best way to go... anyway, I finally felt like, finally someone can maybe shake some sense into him...So, this therapist let him know that he must contact the nearest facility and start therapy for this if he wishes to continue couples therapy.
We'll see what happens, so far, he's called the facility (he says) and waiting for a one-on-one meeting.
Other thing, for me, I'm visiting a house on Friday, and looking at my finances. The time is coming for me to face the fact that I've had enough.
Thanks for being there.
We're in couples therapy (been for a year now) and our therapist finally confronted the AH and clearly stated that my AH has a drinking problem... I felt like saying "No sh$t Sherlock! But I didn't, and I have to say that this therapist is not an addictions therapist, and confronting an alcoholic is not always the best way to go... anyway, I finally felt like, finally someone can maybe shake some sense into him...So, this therapist let him know that he must contact the nearest facility and start therapy for this if he wishes to continue couples therapy.
We'll see what happens, so far, he's called the facility (he says) and waiting for a one-on-one meeting.
Other thing, for me, I'm visiting a house on Friday, and looking at my finances. The time is coming for me to face the fact that I've had enough.
Thanks for being there.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Ripper, I am glad to see things progressing. I want to commend you on letting him do the calling and letting him take charge of his own recovery or not. Good for you!
Hope you like the house and continue to make positive progress. Good for the therapist to put the foot down on that.
Have a blessed day!
Hope you like the house and continue to make positive progress. Good for the therapist to put the foot down on that.
Have a blessed day!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Québec Canada
Posts: 46
Thanks all of you.
Refiner: Yes, I want to say I'm OUT no matter what he decides, and it's taking a lot from me to say this...
I still feel guilty and still feel that maybe I should stick it out, that the "quacking" he does may be in fact, truth (I'll never be happy, I'm never satisfied, I'm negative, not realizing how good I have it, I'll hurt the kids, etc...) but another part of me says, this is NOT normal behavior, this is NOT what I or my kids deserve, and this is NOT what I want for my life...I don't think I'm unreasonable in asking for a spouse that does not lie to me repeatedly and makes irresponsible decisions, and then tries to justify them.
I've made my share of mistakes and I own up to them, and if he came to me and said, I can't live with what you've done and if you cannot fix this I am leaving, well, I would either say, I'm taking care of it, or we should separate. Seems so simple....
Refiner: Yes, I want to say I'm OUT no matter what he decides, and it's taking a lot from me to say this...
I still feel guilty and still feel that maybe I should stick it out, that the "quacking" he does may be in fact, truth (I'll never be happy, I'm never satisfied, I'm negative, not realizing how good I have it, I'll hurt the kids, etc...) but another part of me says, this is NOT normal behavior, this is NOT what I or my kids deserve, and this is NOT what I want for my life...I don't think I'm unreasonable in asking for a spouse that does not lie to me repeatedly and makes irresponsible decisions, and then tries to justify them.
I've made my share of mistakes and I own up to them, and if he came to me and said, I can't live with what you've done and if you cannot fix this I am leaving, well, I would either say, I'm taking care of it, or we should separate. Seems so simple....
☀️⛳️
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by Ripper 
It's been awhile and I was thinking nothing's change but I think some things have changed in the past 7 months...
We're in couples therapy (been for a year now) and our therapist finally confronted the AH and clearly stated that my AH has a drinking problem... I felt like saying "No sh$t Sherlock! But I didn't, and I have to say that this therapist is not an addictions therapist, and confronting an alcoholic is not always the best way to go... anyway, I finally felt like, finally someone can maybe shake some sense into him...So, this therapist let him know that he must contact the nearest facility and start therapy for this if he wishes to continue couples therapy.
We'll see what happens, so far, he's called the facility (he says) and waiting for a one-on-one meeting.
Other thing, for me, I'm visiting a house on Friday, and looking at my finances. The time is coming for me to face the fact that I've had enough.
Thanks for being there.
We're in couples therapy (been for a year now) and our therapist finally confronted the AH and clearly stated that my AH has a drinking problem... I felt like saying "No sh$t Sherlock! But I didn't, and I have to say that this therapist is not an addictions therapist, and confronting an alcoholic is not always the best way to go... anyway, I finally felt like, finally someone can maybe shake some sense into him...So, this therapist let him know that he must contact the nearest facility and start therapy for this if he wishes to continue couples therapy.
We'll see what happens, so far, he's called the facility (he says) and waiting for a one-on-one meeting.
Other thing, for me, I'm visiting a house on Friday, and looking at my finances. The time is coming for me to face the fact that I've had enough.
Thanks for being there.
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