Ughhh.... Serenity now....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lost in the midwest
Posts: 443
Ughhh.... Serenity now....
Can tell today is going to be challenging, at best. Not due to drinking, due to thinking. Serenity prayer in full swing. Remember to removed self from situations, and realize that I'm not the center of the universe, therefore others intentions, good or bad, are not meant to destiny my inner peace. Inner peace is my responsibility. Ok, breathe.... 12345.....
painless
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: somerset
Posts: 138
Everyday for us addicts will be challenging until the day God calls us home to heaven... Even though im on an opiate blocker to keep me drug free the urges come at me because of PEOPLE, PLACES AND THINGS... I cant even use the bathroom at my tattoo studio without having a strong panic attack because every time i went in there i used. I would spend minimum 15 minutes in their shooting my pain away and trying to get my brain into normal thinking so I could perform at work. My addiction to heroin kept me at levels of usage that would kill the normal user but would only make me not sick. I would soon nod out in my chair only to be yelled at by a coworker to stop snoaring. lol.. what a loser i was... I look back at pictures of me when i was using and I cant see myself in any of them because all i see is a monster. Now when i look in the mirror clean over 30 days I see a sparkle in these lil ole brown eyes and I see the transformation my body has been making from working out daily very hard. I keep a picture of me in my station of me looking like a junkie and then a current picture of me looking very healthy. Its a crutch I know but its a great crutch according to my therapist. when i look at it and see the comparison it makes me feel both very happy and extremely ill to my stomach. keep yourself busy and focused. tonight im going to AA meeting even though my drug was opiates. I reflect better in AA then ever i could in NA. The message is the same... CALL BEFORE U FALL AND KEEP COMING BACK... This website has been a great help to e and my needing to stay clean... keep coming back my friend... be well
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lost in the midwest
Posts: 443
So far I have made it thru the day. Not planning to attend a meeting tonight. Planning to hang out with the family. Serenity prayer at least 20 times today and good conversations with my clients. People can see the change in me, and although I may emotionally appear to be an alien to them, since I am grounded today,and don't want to get into the petty omg conversations with co workers, I feel good and strong and humble. I work with women, and believe me, they are tough critics. But this too shall pass. And none of them know I am going to meetings, let alone that I am sober 19 days.... But they know something is different. Lol
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