Forgot what it's like...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Forgot what it's like...
Feeling blue. Feeling glum etc. Spent the day on the computer looking at job opportunities. Haven't updated/created a resume in forever. Forgot how to do it since I was so comfortable KNOWING I would retire from my position. OOPS!
I spent a good deal of time reading through the forum today. I read a lot and the more I read the more it is pounded into me that I can never drink again. So a big thank you once again to everyone who continually reminds me of that.
It's good to hear how some are starting to get better in their lives. And painful to here that others have fallen. Yet have gotten back up!
I told my wife I was going to go to a meeting tonight. Around 6 or so I started to not feel like it. And once again I get a phone call somebody I have no clue about. We pass around the local meeting schedule sheet when a newcomer shoes up at a meeting and add our phone number. He went down the list until somebody answered. Now I was committed to go to a meeting. Drove to pick up a guy that I had no clue about from whenever. Weird thoughts going through my head on my way to the laundromat. Went to a meeting and took him home. Job done. I guess I needed to go since I was feeling a bit out of sorts. Sunday it was 80 degrees - 27C for the rest of you. Tonight it was sleet mixed with snow on the way home from meeting.
It's supposed to get below freezing the next day or two. Cover your plants!
I was told I was putting on weight tonight. Hmmm, time to get off my aaa and do something. Just been down the past few days since the reality has set in. But I know for sure that I don't want or need a drink!!!!
So I got that going for me. Sorry for the long boring message.
What I really want to say is this. Seeing and hearing other people speak at the meeting told me something tonight. I have it pretty damned good and I should feel lucky to be me.
I spent a good deal of time reading through the forum today. I read a lot and the more I read the more it is pounded into me that I can never drink again. So a big thank you once again to everyone who continually reminds me of that.
It's good to hear how some are starting to get better in their lives. And painful to here that others have fallen. Yet have gotten back up!
I told my wife I was going to go to a meeting tonight. Around 6 or so I started to not feel like it. And once again I get a phone call somebody I have no clue about. We pass around the local meeting schedule sheet when a newcomer shoes up at a meeting and add our phone number. He went down the list until somebody answered. Now I was committed to go to a meeting. Drove to pick up a guy that I had no clue about from whenever. Weird thoughts going through my head on my way to the laundromat. Went to a meeting and took him home. Job done. I guess I needed to go since I was feeling a bit out of sorts. Sunday it was 80 degrees - 27C for the rest of you. Tonight it was sleet mixed with snow on the way home from meeting.
It's supposed to get below freezing the next day or two. Cover your plants!
I was told I was putting on weight tonight. Hmmm, time to get off my aaa and do something. Just been down the past few days since the reality has set in. But I know for sure that I don't want or need a drink!!!!
So I got that going for me. Sorry for the long boring message.
What I really want to say is this. Seeing and hearing other people speak at the meeting told me something tonight. I have it pretty damned good and I should feel lucky to be me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Hi LBrain I'm glad you're hanging in there despite the glumness. Reading through the SR forums also makes me more committed. Hoping you find your perfect job soon. Meanwhile, it's a good opportunity to concentrate on yourself and your recovery. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Thank you for posting this. I've been down myself lately. Then inertia starts and I don't feel like going to meetings either. I always feel better afterwards though. It is just the stinking thoughts that interfere. I always had trouble accepting a higher power for the longest time and still sometimes do but situations like you had tonight made me realize that there is someone or something working out there for us. You had a random call out of the blue from someone just when you were thinking you didn't want to go to a meeting. Good luck with your resume. I would be hard pressed to write a new one but it can be done.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lawrence, KS
Posts: 250
Originally Posted by LBrain 
Sunday it was 80 degrees - 27C for the rest of you. Tonight it was sleet mixed with snow on the way home from meeting.
I had a crappy day on Saturday ... in retrospect, that was the worst weather we'd had all week. Going from sunny and 80s to wind and rain and chilly weather is hard for anybody. Add that to everything else you're going through ... I guess my point is to take into consideration the impact weather can have on our mood.
And I wouldn't have the foggiest how to create or submit a current resume ... haven't done that in - ten years either! (Had to sit and think about it, lol)
Hang in there (like, um, like, what else am I supposed to say...? I feel so redundant posting the same supportive cliches on this forum, I do mean them, but I think I'm going to have to whip out my thesaurus to come up with some new ones. Grab on for dear life. Maintain a solid grasp on anything living. Um, wait... lol)
Aaaand that's all she wrote.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 832
Awwwww LBrain - I think we all know these feelings too well. But, I believe in my heart, that whether we are an alcoholic or not, we have these days. It hasn't nothing to do with our alcoholism, it's human nature. But, since we have an addiction, I think we feel it more because we used to "numb" it before, and the problem with that is, that is a temporary fix, and when we come back to reality, those problems and feelings are still there. And we feel even worse about it, because we tried to drown them away, and it didn't work.
Yes, it was some crazy weather. It was 75 here where I am in Michigan over the weekend. And yesterday I drove to work looking at snow covered trees, and on a sheet of glazed ice. But, I took my time, and I appreciated how beautiful it looked. I also thought it was amazing that we set a record, and beat the one from 100 years ago. So, in a way it was kind of exciting. I remember my grandparents talking about "oh, remember that big snow storm in 1942" or you always got the "I walked uphill to school going there and coming home". I understood why they had a root cellar because they went through some really tough times and remembered what it was like to be without.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say, is when the gloomy feeling hits you, what can you see in it - even one little thing - that makes you say, this isn't that bad. Or what is an opportunity about this? Or as in our crazy weather this week - glad I'm not a Robin that just came back for the Spring.
And never feel you are boring any of us. Because I know what you said in your post is exactly what I feel on some days. And when it's happening, it feels like somebody burst your bubble.
I'm glad you posted about your day. And thank you for being there for all of us. Your posts have helped me, too - I'm on day 10, and just you posting to say "good job" really goes a long way. Because of people like you, I am going to a meeting on Saturday at 10:00 a.m. I see myself doing it this time. The fact I'm even talking about it, is a huge step for me. But, I won't miss it, I can't.
Hugs and love to you - and thank you for that "boring" post. It made me want to reach out and give you a big hug!!!!
Congrats on your continued success with sobriety. And good luck with your resume! Just like with your journey here, stick with it - there's a job out there that has your name on it.
Yes, it was some crazy weather. It was 75 here where I am in Michigan over the weekend. And yesterday I drove to work looking at snow covered trees, and on a sheet of glazed ice. But, I took my time, and I appreciated how beautiful it looked. I also thought it was amazing that we set a record, and beat the one from 100 years ago. So, in a way it was kind of exciting. I remember my grandparents talking about "oh, remember that big snow storm in 1942" or you always got the "I walked uphill to school going there and coming home". I understood why they had a root cellar because they went through some really tough times and remembered what it was like to be without.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say, is when the gloomy feeling hits you, what can you see in it - even one little thing - that makes you say, this isn't that bad. Or what is an opportunity about this? Or as in our crazy weather this week - glad I'm not a Robin that just came back for the Spring.
And never feel you are boring any of us. Because I know what you said in your post is exactly what I feel on some days. And when it's happening, it feels like somebody burst your bubble.
I'm glad you posted about your day. And thank you for being there for all of us. Your posts have helped me, too - I'm on day 10, and just you posting to say "good job" really goes a long way. Because of people like you, I am going to a meeting on Saturday at 10:00 a.m. I see myself doing it this time. The fact I'm even talking about it, is a huge step for me. But, I won't miss it, I can't.
Hugs and love to you - and thank you for that "boring" post. It made me want to reach out and give you a big hug!!!!
Congrats on your continued success with sobriety. And good luck with your resume! Just like with your journey here, stick with it - there's a job out there that has your name on it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by LBrain
Seeing and hearing other people speak at the meeting told me something tonight. I have it pretty damned good and I should feel lucky to be me.
by the grace of God there go I
MM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Island Park , NY
Posts: 373
Hey LBrain, Hope your feeling better! Not to make light of your glumness but I am just getting over mine after sitting in jail from Feb 10th-apr 4th for a 2 1/2 yo Dui charge. Sitting here with my little ankle bracelet that can detect alcohol and is GPS I am happy to say i'm getting to feel a little better. The phone isn't ringing for my glass shop as everyone probably thinks I died or something with the door closed for 2 months, and I can't make any visits to drum up work as I have to be home so this thing can download to probation. Wish the bills would stop coming , but I know they won't, LOL! Chin up my friend, it will get better without alcohol! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I'm sure I'll be my old self again soon.
roguedreams - when you get tired of saying the same things over and over, just write something dumb you think is witty. It works for me. Even if other people think I'm out to lunch sometimes.
Just a few words of encouragement is all it takes really. There aren't many words to substitute for thank you, but I'm sure you say it all the time
That's one thing I always hated about emails and such. The person on the other end can't see what you were thinking at the time you wrote it. Something you may think is harmless and funny can be an insulting bump to someone else.
It's hard for me to be serious all the time. But I try.
A resume can not possibly convey how great I am at everything.
roguedreams - when you get tired of saying the same things over and over, just write something dumb you think is witty. It works for me. Even if other people think I'm out to lunch sometimes.
Just a few words of encouragement is all it takes really. There aren't many words to substitute for thank you, but I'm sure you say it all the time
That's one thing I always hated about emails and such. The person on the other end can't see what you were thinking at the time you wrote it. Something you may think is harmless and funny can be an insulting bump to someone else.
It's hard for me to be serious all the time. But I try.
A resume can not possibly convey how great I am at everything.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by LBrain
A resume can not possibly convey how great I am at everything.
It will get better. I lost my job of 17 1/2 years and today it is the blessing I never saw coming. Not because I got a better job or make more money, I don't but it was the pivotal point that pushed me over the edge and into the rooms of AA. Sober a little over a year now, so grateful I lost that job.
Keep your chin up, work on that resume and keep on keeping on!
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