putting it off is his name of the game...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: North America
Posts: 362
putting it off is his name of the game...
It really doesn't pay me to get so angry. Oh court was a walk in the park this morning for my A, he pleaded NOT GUILTY to all of his charges except for the possesion charge. He now has a new court date for August 15th. When he came back to the car after it was over, I said so ummm, I suppose your going to seek a lawyer now and try to convince him you weren't COMPLETLEY DRUNK that night? (at this point I was feeling my blood boil), I guess I didn't think he was going to plead not guilty, that is so him though. Put it off....I will deal with it later.
I was already getting pissed off and while driving to bring me to work, I said so what are you going to do today? (I had already showed him a sheet where I wrote some job contacts down on,although I know I need the skillet for that) He says Why do you need something done?" I said WELL... either the lights or the water will be cut off soon, I am unsure at this point which one will be first, and once they are cut off my next paycheck has to go for rent no matter what, so when they are off they are just OFF, and if it continues to be just me bringing in a paycheck in this house...things are not going to be good at ALL.
I mean I don't know what else to say to him. I get so aggrivated even bringing up the bills to him because I KNOW this other woman at times has given him money. So I become afraid sometimes to say anything because I think it will make him go to her. Sick isn't it?
Maybe when he comes home and flips the light and nothing comes on, he might realize I am not just blowing smoke up his ass to get a J O B!!!!!
Sometimes I don't know him anymore. He used to work 2 jobs to pay the bills. He's looked some and applied at "some" places, but not looked and stayed on top of it hard enough. There are also plenty of temp services to look for help that pay daily.
I am very frustrated and angry at me, him, the disease, and the fact he has a problem facing the music. <img border="0" alt="[Mad!]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/mad3.gif" />
Sorry for all the rambling, but if it didnt come out here....it would have came out to him in front of my workplace a little bit ago and they probobaly would have called security on me....
I was already getting pissed off and while driving to bring me to work, I said so what are you going to do today? (I had already showed him a sheet where I wrote some job contacts down on,although I know I need the skillet for that) He says Why do you need something done?" I said WELL... either the lights or the water will be cut off soon, I am unsure at this point which one will be first, and once they are cut off my next paycheck has to go for rent no matter what, so when they are off they are just OFF, and if it continues to be just me bringing in a paycheck in this house...things are not going to be good at ALL.
I mean I don't know what else to say to him. I get so aggrivated even bringing up the bills to him because I KNOW this other woman at times has given him money. So I become afraid sometimes to say anything because I think it will make him go to her. Sick isn't it?
Maybe when he comes home and flips the light and nothing comes on, he might realize I am not just blowing smoke up his ass to get a J O B!!!!!
Sometimes I don't know him anymore. He used to work 2 jobs to pay the bills. He's looked some and applied at "some" places, but not looked and stayed on top of it hard enough. There are also plenty of temp services to look for help that pay daily.
I am very frustrated and angry at me, him, the disease, and the fact he has a problem facing the music. <img border="0" alt="[Mad!]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/mad3.gif" />
Sorry for all the rambling, but if it didnt come out here....it would have came out to him in front of my workplace a little bit ago and they probobaly would have called security on me....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Raleigh, NC (Jersey Girl transplant)
Posts: 676
Bonbon, I so understand what you are going through. I just don't know what we can do to make this situation livable. I wish I knew what to do and I would share it with you, I promise. Take care, my prayers are with you.
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: United States
Posts: 39
Just like you if I didn't have this place to come to I'd be screaming and yelling at my A as I right this post!! I too am struggling with the "GET A JOB" theory!! You are in my thoughts and prayers!! Hang in there...
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: United States
Posts: 39
Just like you if I didn't have this place to come to I'd be screaming and yelling at my A as I right this post!! I too am struggling with the "GET A JOB" theory!! You are in my thoughts and prayers!! Hang in there...
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Hi Bonbon
My son was/is the same about working. He took forever to get a job. He has one now, but historically they don't last long. I don't give him money, which motivates him to work or do without.
And then when they get a job, we are never sure about getting the paychecks, especially if the addiction is active. So what difference does it make to us?
The best thing you can do, is find a way to live that you can support yourself. It may mean scaling down to a smaller less expensive place, or sharing a place with someone (not a good idea while still living with the addict), but make a plan for how you could look after yourself if they totally disappeared off the face of the earth tomorrow. At least you wouldn't be supporting them too.
Sometimes we have to back up, financially, to move forward with more stability. It is hard.
My prayers are with you.
Hugs
My son was/is the same about working. He took forever to get a job. He has one now, but historically they don't last long. I don't give him money, which motivates him to work or do without.
And then when they get a job, we are never sure about getting the paychecks, especially if the addiction is active. So what difference does it make to us?
The best thing you can do, is find a way to live that you can support yourself. It may mean scaling down to a smaller less expensive place, or sharing a place with someone (not a good idea while still living with the addict), but make a plan for how you could look after yourself if they totally disappeared off the face of the earth tomorrow. At least you wouldn't be supporting them too.
Sometimes we have to back up, financially, to move forward with more stability. It is hard.
My prayers are with you.
Hugs
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