ParalyzedForce

This is what'll hopefully be the last day three. I've been wavering back and forth for the past 4-5 months, deciding to quit for good, deciding it's not so big a deal, deciding to quit for good, deciding it's not so big a deal, back and forth, etc., and it's only getting worse. I still haven't made a firm decision, but I'm tired of counting days only to start over again. I need to get better at identifying triggers, but I think I also need to find a way to fully convince myself that quitting for good is the only remaining option. Any advice?

Anna

My advice is that you're absolutely right. To make recovery work you need to be fully committed. I hope that you make that choice. Make a decision that alcohol is no longer an option and you will start to find new, healthy ways to deal with life.

SoberLeigh

Just do it, ParalyzedForce. All that flip-flopping must be exhausting and discouraging. Give sobriety a true, fighting chance; see how you like it!!! We will walk with you, encourage you when dealing with the triggers, help you shoot-down the AV and celebrate your victories.

Thepatman

I agree with the others and have / am right at this tipping point.

It's totally exhausting gathering up courage to face day 1 all over again. The answer is simple yet complex, never pickup that first drink again.

We need to divorce this addiction once and for all.

You can do this,

EndGameNYC

This is often left unspoken or is easily dismissed. After all, I've gotten by when I've given a halfhearted effort in work, in my relationships and in other areas of my life.

We don't have enough time. We don't want other people to know. We don't like what other people will think about us. We've got social anxiety, depression or simply don't like mixing with other people. Recently declassified documents will prove that the CIA killed JFK if I quit. We have to figure out the first causes of why we drink before we stop. I'm too "high-profile" in my community to be seen doing anything about my drinking problem. I don't want to go through withdrawal. Everything will get better if I could just cut down. What will my neighbors think? My family doesn't think I have a problem. Nabisco will stop making Double Stuff Oreos if I quit. My girlfriend will hate me if I quit. I'll hate my girlfriend if I quit. I'll discover that I'm gay if I quit. I'm more productive when I drink. I can't be social without drinking. I'm not as funny when I don't drink. I'll lose all my drinking friends. My cat will run away if I quit. I'll have to quit my job since I have to drink to be successful at what I do. I won't be able to watch Red Sox games with my friends if I quit. I have a wedding to go to or too many important social events on my calendar to quit, and people will not like me if I don't drink. And if I don't go, civilization as we know it will come to an end. I can't go on living without drinking. I'll get fat if I quit. I'll start smoking if I quit. I'll start gambling or abusing drugs if I quit. They'll stop selling my favorite deodorant if I quit. I'll lose all my cable channels if I quit.

I've had my dance with denial; took it to the prom, actually. All it did was prolong my suffering, further ruin my health, and arm me with hundreds of new excuses to avoid things I'd rather not do.

Brian316

Bro I lived where you are for about the last 3 years of my drinking career. Believe us when we assure you, it does get worse. For many of us it took the loss of something significant to make us stop. You don't want to get there and you don't need to try and prove anything to yourself. Make a plan and put the plug in the jug. It's much better on this side.

Ruby2

Well, I would go back and read your original post again. Several times. You haven't convinced yourself that quitting is a good idea but after reading your original post why would you think that DRINKING is a good idea? Are you still entertaining thoughts that you can somehow find a way to drink in moderation? That is the Holy Grail of every alcoholic. You will have to ask yourself if the never ending pain is worth more to you than quitting. Because if you continue it will only get worse. I went away to college at 17 and started drinking then as well. I did manage to finish but as life progressed so did my drinking. I would love to be a moderate drinker but I know that I will never be. So every morning I tell myself that I won't drink that day. And try to remember the feeling of waking up hung over. It was never fun in the end. I was strictly a maintenance drinker and would choke down my drink no matter how it burned my throat. You can do it. You are worth it.