Hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: dover, nh
Posts: 17
Hello
This is my first time posting here, I have read these posts on and off for several mos. I drank heavily for 15+ years and finally I couldnt take anymore and i got some help. I came out of detox and was sober for 4 mos, then at a hockey tournament all the parents were having beers and hanging out, and of course I thought I could have just ONE, that I had conquered this for 4 mos and I was invincible. That one lead to 5 more the next day, then a bottle of wine when I got back and then a three week binge. I got sober again for a few weeks and then said, see I did it again, I can have one if I want, that lead to another back and forth sober/drunk for another 2 mos. Well last sat I said this is enough that my life was so much better without the alcohol, different but much better, so here I am back on day three, going through the same miserable feelings and anxiety that I spent 4 mos getting rid of. Well that feeling is not what I want. This is a good forum and with alot of good people, we all have our stories, we have got the same result. I respect all of you for your courage in battlling back....."its not how hard you hit, its how hard you can get hit and get back up" thanks for having me
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
And no doubt you will have those thoughts again. It's what the addiction does. Recovery fails when we believe it. Just have something in place for when it happens. Post to SR, something, but don't pick up again.
Originally Posted by hockeywino 
I got sober again for a few weeks and then said, see I did it again, I can have one if I want, that lead to another back and forth sober/drunk for another 2 mos.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 125
Hockeywino... You just told my story and I find myself scared to death that I'm going to talk myself out of this again. Right now on a Tuesday in the early days of sobriety, I recognize its my addictive voice that will eventually try to convince me I can drink a bottle of wine on a weekend and be ok. However, in a few weeks or months when that Saturday night approaches how will I recognize that its my addictive voice and that its dangerous? I'm laughing thinking about "danger will Robinson" from the show Will and Grace but seriously..... How can I slay that dragon for good? That's what I'm here to learn. It scares me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: dover, nh
Posts: 17
serenity, I think we al have to continuously learn that this can be much like a race car driver, trying to control something out of control, may not crash this race or the next but eventually that driver will crash, much like when we try to moderate that cannot be moderated........I like to be out on the track, but going forward I will ride in the pace car!
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