Compass1

Today I learned that the person who I was previously involved with started dating someone and I got to see their lovely picture on social media. I feel so triggered right now and as if I cannot stand to be in my own mind right now. Just sad, anxious. I am dangerously considering drinking, I started making plans with people who I have blown off in the past and then went back on it, thinking it through and realizing its not the way out. It just hurts to be in my skin right now.

GreenEggsAndHam

I drank "at" someone my last relapse and it wasn't worth it. Solved nothing, nothing changed, and I only hurt myself.

I vowed never to let any one person take my sobriety from me.

Stay strong, the pain will pass. (hugs)

Flying4Life

Oh, I have been there! Social media can be such a dangerous thing during early recovery. Is there anyone you can call and just talk to about this? That is what I usually do, or failing that I like to journal or take a bubble bath, anything loving and healthy that I can do for myself. I know that pain and it is intense but it won't last forever. (((hugs)))

Brian316

I would say pray, read some recovery literature and avoid social media. Our self worth and sobriety can't be determined on number of likes or comments.

FeelingGreat

Hi, it's gut wrenching isn't it? But a successful life is the best revenge. Just think of them pitying you as a drunk. Do you want that?

I've found the best way to cope is to discipline my thoughts when I realise they are running away.

Compass1

It is absolutely gut wrenching and I so believe that success is the best revenge. I wish it would just go away. I think I am going to delete facebook but I don't want to do it right away and be obvious like that. It sucks a lot. Part of wanting to drink also comes from wanting to go out to a bar and meet someone, hook up, just get my mind away from what I am experiencing right now. Dating just doesn't flow well with me when I'm sober - which might be the hardest part of it for me.

love4life2014

Keep your head up! I'm trying to do the same working on emotional triggers but it's so hard sometimes...

Best of luck to you xo

SolitaryThinker

You don't need to delete it completely if you enjoy using it still, block and filter out the people you don't need to see, in the security settings. I did that to remove the sadness from a situation like that. I would frantically go back and check all the time and it def drives yourself crazy.

LBrain

how does it go? ah, drinking the poison and waiting for someone else to die? something like that.
You are much better than that. Becoming a successful you is what you need to focus on.
Social media... no comment.
Good luck. Stay strong.

SolitaryThinker

Yea I agree, it is a bit intrusive honestly...

littlefish

I'm going to link to something Alphaomega posted recently:it was really a great post and I think it is a great response to your question: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-feelings.html

Thepatman

I can relate to the pain this is causing you.

I was with girl for a long time and we broke up, she was with someone else just a few weeks after us.

Some people can't be alone, I recommend you learn to happy alone, learn to fall back in love with yourself before thinking about romantic involvement.

Compass1

I feel much better today. I am trying to use my pain as fuel instead of allowing it to destroy me... I am really making an effort to at least. Not to be hijacked. I woke up and did a VERY intense cardio work out. I cleaned the hell out of my house and listened to music. Went for a walk in the park with a friend. Although I don't feel that I'm out of the woods, I think I am going to make it. I just keep trying to channel that energy/anxiety into positives and basically just tired myself out and keep my mind busy.

Anna

That's great! I'm so glad that you got through this. And, you have learned more and better coping skills in the process.

SolitaryThinker

Good stuff, awesome way to flip it..

topspin

Great news !

That kind of thing is no joke, ; ....congrats !!!!



..;;....and whenever you do meet someone in the future,

...I've heard some girls really love fit guys and clean cribs
, hang in there, ...that's strong , gettin' thru stuff like that.

Compass1

topspin, thanks, and I will definitely keep that in mind

Amazingglazier

Compass, don't let this bring you to drinking, you know in your heart that will only bring more pain to go with the pain your talking about from that! You ARE better than that! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

alphaomega

Excellent work getting through that and protecting your sobriety.

One thing I can promise for sure , you won't regret not drinking in the morning.

You deserve to be your very best you.

And darling, living well, it's the best revenge. <3

Notmyrealname

I try to be happy for my ex- SO, if she is dating again I hope it is with someone who enriches her life and is good for her. I am a lot better off than I was when we lived together, and I don't know that I would have made it this far if things had worked out differently, so I am thankful that they went to hell the way they did.

People just break up sometimes. They decide to go a different route in life. We are all ships sailing, and sometimes we tie up next to another ship for awhile.. It feels very personal because it is, and yeah, it's rejection of you. But it's not "personal". Would you really want someone to stick with you who doesn't want to be there? That'd be horrible, for both parties. People are their own ends, they aren't on this earth simply to be there for you, they have their own lives and loves and dreams to pursue. So this talk of "revenge" in the thread confuses me.

It feels a lot better to be grateful that someone you care about is finding happiness than to be unhappy because you're . . unhappy. Because how is the latter situation ever going to end? It could go on forever.