Off and on
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Louisville KY
Posts: 1
Off and on Hi,
Been drinking since I was about 13 or so. Now I'm pushing 30. Did a lot of
time overseas in the Mil. Can't drink in a lot of the places I've been. Doesn't
matter. I always came back to the bottle. I keep telling myself I can just
quit, but I can't. I drive a mile in any direction and there is a place that
serves alcohol. I have good days, but mostly bad days. If I think about the
past 365 days of my life....maybe I've gone a few days without a single drink.
Sometimes I'll have 30 drinks, sometimes I'll have 6, some days I will only have
a few. The days that I only have a few drinks are the days I consider to be a
success. I wake up early, and don't feel awful. I'm more productive and
attentive.
Things recently have been going downhill with the drinking. Went and did
some searching. Soon, I'll be taking a drug called naltrexone. I've read a lot
of good things about treatment with this. Until I start this, I know I'll keep
drinking. As much as I'd like to humor myself, the crave can sometimes be
irresistible.
The regret in the morning after a negative conversation. Thinking of all the
stupid things I do when I drink. The feeling like I'm going to have a heart
attack or seizure after a night of very heavy drinking. The way I look in the
mirror and see myself getting to be a fat, disgusting, unshaven slob with a
pinkish hue on my face and puffy eyelids. The stutter I develop after a week
of hard binge drinking, the countless amount of sexual partners, the daze and
detachment of my thought process, the isolation from the people I love, the
sheer amount of money decimating my hard earned savings just to get more
alcohol, and a hundred other good reasons I need to quit.
Worst among worst, I'm a very functional alcoholic. My closest friends and
family are aware I like to drink, I've even sought advice and received mainly
"You are young, and you are having fun. Don't worry about it." But I know
damn well what I am. I'm an alcoholic. My dad was, his dad was, and just
about everyone else in the family (males) are.
I've done the AA thing a few times, and trying to be at a meeting every night
is almost impossible considering how far away from all the meetings I live.
Thought I'd come here in search of support, some like minded people, and
maybe a few funny anecdotes and stories I can relate to.
Matt[/LEFT][/SIZE]
Been drinking since I was about 13 or so. Now I'm pushing 30. Did a lot of
time overseas in the Mil. Can't drink in a lot of the places I've been. Doesn't
matter. I always came back to the bottle. I keep telling myself I can just
quit, but I can't. I drive a mile in any direction and there is a place that
serves alcohol. I have good days, but mostly bad days. If I think about the
past 365 days of my life....maybe I've gone a few days without a single drink.
Sometimes I'll have 30 drinks, sometimes I'll have 6, some days I will only have
a few. The days that I only have a few drinks are the days I consider to be a
success. I wake up early, and don't feel awful. I'm more productive and
attentive.
Things recently have been going downhill with the drinking. Went and did
some searching. Soon, I'll be taking a drug called naltrexone. I've read a lot
of good things about treatment with this. Until I start this, I know I'll keep
drinking. As much as I'd like to humor myself, the crave can sometimes be
irresistible.
The regret in the morning after a negative conversation. Thinking of all the
stupid things I do when I drink. The feeling like I'm going to have a heart
attack or seizure after a night of very heavy drinking. The way I look in the
mirror and see myself getting to be a fat, disgusting, unshaven slob with a
pinkish hue on my face and puffy eyelids. The stutter I develop after a week
of hard binge drinking, the countless amount of sexual partners, the daze and
detachment of my thought process, the isolation from the people I love, the
sheer amount of money decimating my hard earned savings just to get more
alcohol, and a hundred other good reasons I need to quit.
Worst among worst, I'm a very functional alcoholic. My closest friends and
family are aware I like to drink, I've even sought advice and received mainly
"You are young, and you are having fun. Don't worry about it." But I know
damn well what I am. I'm an alcoholic. My dad was, his dad was, and just
about everyone else in the family (males) are.
I've done the AA thing a few times, and trying to be at a meeting every night
is almost impossible considering how far away from all the meetings I live.
Thought I'd come here in search of support, some like minded people, and
maybe a few funny anecdotes and stories I can relate to.
Matt[/LEFT][/SIZE]
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Glad to meet you Matt. You found a friendly & encouraging place. I was much older than you when I finally admitted I had to stop. There was no telling what would happen once that first drink got in my system. It feels great to be free of it. You can do this.
Thank you for serving Matt.
Thank you for serving Matt.
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