Wisconsin

I am a total mess again today. The combination of the electricity shutoff notice, the crap about tomorrow's hearing, and a very hurtful telephone fight with my AH have left me feeling on the verge of a breakdown.

What do you all do when you are in crisis? I can't just curl up into a ball and cry all day. My son is napping, and will be up soon. I have to be functional enough to be with him for the rest of the day.

embraced2000

well Wisconsin, maybe you and I should go sit in the corner together and hold hands till this passes (mini crisis here, too).

I can tell you what i'm doing to help myself....lurking on this forum. and i'm grateful that lurking here is not considered stalking or i'd be in deep doo-doo.

it always helps me to share with others.

and those phones have a disconnect button. click. poof. gone.

hang tight. I used to kiss my sleeping childrens cheeks and breath deeply. that feeling would go all the way to my toes. like they were a fountain of some sort of magic elixir.

I really don't have much to offer today, but hey, we can wait around and see what others may have for us.

redatlanta

I make myself busy, really busy. I clean, like the deep cleaning not normally done. If I work through that I might look for a hard recipe that will take a lot of time - homemade breads and pasta come to mind as they aren't my forte.

This always works for me I hope it will for you. Sorry you have so much going on (((((hugs)))))

Seren

-TV is usually on even if I'm not watching it just to have something yammering in the background. This has let me feel not so alone in the world, believe it or not. It helped me to think that there were other people, other lives, a whole world going on around me.

-Yeah, hyper cleaning mode for me, too, sometimes.

-Calling friends and asking them how THEY are doing instead of going on and on about my latest crisis.

-Praying.

healthyagain

I let my AH inspire action. When he ignores me for days and hardly speaks to me, refusing doing anything together, spending days in the bedroom behind the closed door, I say that it is OK and that this is only me practicing my future single life. Then I make myself a nice dinner, as if he does not even exist. I ignore his malice, let it go through me. I ignore his very existence from time to time.

biminiblue

Reach out for help or to help someone else.

FireSprite

Extra self-care.
A long, hot bath with Epsom salts.
Exercise
Chocolate
Yoga - it's also great for DS - you can stretch & be silly together
Dance party - turn up some happy jams & dance around the living room for 20 mins.
Chamomile tea - it has a mild sedative-like affect on me
More chocolate
Deep breathing - just a few mins at a time, a few times throughout the day
Switch to dark chocolate... it has all those extra antioxidants that are so important
Extra vitamin B's & C's
Mindless TV - 30 Rock, Raising Hope - stuff that makes me LOL
I alternate good clean, green foods (so I support my health) and junky soul food (so I support my soul)
Have I mentioned chocolate?

DesertEyes

My problem in crisis mode is that my mind keeps going in circles around the same issue. Usually imagining the worst possible outcome, and obsessing about how to deal with it. What I have learned is that I can only think about one thing at a time. Ok, so i can bounce a million thoughts around at hyper speed when I am _really_ wound up, but they are still one after the other.

Instead of letting my mind run wild, I focus on thinking just _one_ prayer. Just one. I say it slowly, paying attention to every word and force myself to finish it. Then I do it again. What it does for me is it "interrupts" the fear-filled thoughts and gives me something positive to focus on. Most of the time I can get myself out of that "crisis loop" in just a few minutes. 'course, being an alanoid, I will go an hour or two and then start worrying again

Mike

Mango blast

How are you doing? Where are you mentally now? (((hugs)))
Sending prayers and good thoughts for you.

Do you have a tree nearby? I never thought I'd be a tree hugger, but it's saved my sanity on more than one day. Let go of all your frustrations, of all the crap in your life and negative emotions. The energy from trees can help to physically ground us. Letting go of all the negative is a great bonus. Sometimes my son and I will play games running around trees. He doesn't know why I hang onto them, I just add it into the playtime. The playtime helps too, but I often find myself needing some grounding.

Florence

I go for vigorous exercise. I'm actually sitting down reading this after a long bike ride after a long, hard week and shockingly bad weekend.

I clean my house. When I'm feeling uninspired I look at UFYH (Google it) to give me a project.

Take a nap.

Take a shower.

Do something outside. Get out of the house.

I read SR.

Wisconsin

Thanks so much, everyone. The sobbing hysterics subsided before my boy woke up from his nap (thank goodness). I'm still fighting against this terrible despair and doom/gloom, but I don't feel as totally out of control as I did a few hours ago.

You guys really are the best!

OnlyOneProblem

In my times of high anxiety when I want to travel down those dark and dismal roads, I say the serenity prayer. When I wake in the middle of the night, unable to fall back to sleep due to my excessive thinking - I say the serenity prayer. When I feel like I need to be in control of a situation but know that I can only control myself - I say the serenity prayer.

It works for me. I bet it will work for you, too. Hang in there! You are going to be just fine.

lizatola

I typically turn to program tools or I call someone in program who I know can truly be a shoulder to cry on. I do some stupid cleaning project like cleaning all the windows or washing off the back deck. If those things don't work, then I let it all out in a good cry and gather myself together and promise that tomorrow will be better. I then rest, find something stupid to read or watch on TV, order a pizza (forget about cooking for me, that wouldn't be fun with salty tears in the sauce), and I curl up on the couch. Sometimes my son is around, sometimes it's just the dog, and sometimes it's just me and my gone crazy mind.

Hugs to you today! You are doing the best you can with your circumstances. Here's a saying I love: "This too shall pass", it can't stay like this forever and you won't feel this way forever. Hang in there!

Seren

Oh....I almost completely forgot! The SR Security Blanket!!

I put it away after the last time I got it back from the cleaners when another SR member used it. All you need to do is wrap yourself in it when you are in court tomorrow, and you will be impervious to the stares and words from ex-spouses and their attorneys

It works wonders because it is super-charged with all the fantastic support, love, confidence, and well-wishes of your friends here at SR. Plus, it is quite fashionable and matches any outfit!

I will have that shipped special magic overnight delivery so it will be there when you need it in the morning!

Wisconsin

Thanks everyone. I had a good talk with a friend tonight who is a litigator (but not a family/divorce lawyer). He gave me some suggestions on how to approach the situation, but also told me to be prepared for the judge to grant the continuance. He did also say, though, that I should be able to make a compelling case for the judge to schedule a hearing ASAP, given my situation. It feels a little better having more of an idea of what I might expect (although I know that anything can happen.)

Seren

I'm really so glad you received some practical guidance from another attorney. I must agree that your situation is likely to be compelling to the judge. I hope it goes really well for you tomorrow.

lillamy

I downloaded a bunch of relaxing sound apps to my phone -- there was a period of 3-4 months when I plugged in headphones and listened to those all night long, and it actually helped with the anxiety quite a bit.

Another thing I did a lot was distract the emotional part of the brain -- I'm told there's not enough energy to go around for emotional AND rational processing at the same time. So I would do crossword puzzles, Sudoku, any kind of phone/computer games. If anxiety hit when I couldn't do any of that, I would give myself a task -- something like "find all the purple things in the room" or "count how many round items you can see" or "focus on all the textures you can feel in your clothing" or something like that.

Bringing things back to right now and cutting off worry thoughts is hard, but that's something I worked really hard at. The damn breathing exercises that you hate when you're anxious actually work. Trying to put words on how the anxiety feels -- not as in "I feel like I want to puke and run" but as in "it feels like a hot coal in my stomach... and then the heat spreads out on the outside of my arms down to my elbows... and the sides of my head feel like they're on fire" -- just putting words to it like that made it better, too.

That's all I have off the top of my head. And prayer. I prayed a lot.

redatlanta

Good luck today!!!

embraced2000

don't forget your toolbelt and magic blanket! we will be there with you in thought today.

FireSprite

Thinking of you this morning, sending lots of love and support!! (((((hugs)))))