Same struggle..different day, worried and scared for my son.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: back woods USA
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Same struggle..different day, worried and scared for my son.
I know some of you understand the struggle I have with my teenage son. It has been my constant worry since all of this started the day I left my XAH. He had such a hard time from the very beginning. Hes always been so sensitive to things..Ive made it a priority to be aware of what he is going through..to try to understand and be supportive but nothing is working with him.
Therapy did not help, he did it for 2 years. He tried Alanon and then refused to keep going after a few months. Alcohol was his dads problem not his he said, and he resented having to be a part of a program he hated because his dad had a problem.
After a year and a half of his dad not being involved, of my son acting out so defiantly that I knew it was a matter of time before he was arrested or in a situation that was going to be life threatening for him..I moved to another state to be closer to family for support. He improved here, his anger was not so "on the surface"..He got into a sport grades were a little better.
Now its starting all over again, grades are horrible, he is acting out and angry, getting suspended (for stupid things, not even serious but disrespectful) pushing me to my limits and I am so tired.
Ive been up all night reading about absent parents and how it effects kids...I feel like there is no hope, like as long as his situation is what it is I might as well just sit and watch him self destruct. I have not kept him from his father...In the beginning I put a lot of effort and energy into trying to fix it...forcing him to go to his house, nagging him to stop ignoring his calls and call him back. But dad was so inconsistent and so preoccupied with the woman he was involved with he didn't really try that hard. Since we have moved he calls him and texts him but they are very shallow conversations and our son doesn't seem interested in maintaining a relationship. There has been no mention of a summer visit or anything like that. To be honest Im relieved at that since turning my son over to a person who hates me, I have minimal at best contact with and who has little character is not my idea of a solution.
That being said Im starting to think that moving was a huge mistake, that I may have threw a wrench in to their relationship or what it could have been. granted his father has not tried any harder to make it right with our son but maybe if they were still in the same city....it seems like he is not so obsessed with the new woman, its had been 3 years now and im sure the honeymoon is about over. He might be more available to our son ...I don't know Im just at a loss and trying to evaluate the situation to make sure I have done everything I can. I am going to try and find some therapy for both of us to go to together but I really cant afford much. I just cant stand to watch him suffer...maybe this is just a vent to get it out more then anything else.
I don't think this has anything to do with his dad being an A....it has more to do with his dad being emotionally unavailable to him and not being the dad he wants. I guess that would still be the case if we were 2 blocks away as apposed to 3500 miles. I know he is 17 and able to maintain his own relationship with his dad but I think he doesn't know how.
Therapy did not help, he did it for 2 years. He tried Alanon and then refused to keep going after a few months. Alcohol was his dads problem not his he said, and he resented having to be a part of a program he hated because his dad had a problem.
After a year and a half of his dad not being involved, of my son acting out so defiantly that I knew it was a matter of time before he was arrested or in a situation that was going to be life threatening for him..I moved to another state to be closer to family for support. He improved here, his anger was not so "on the surface"..He got into a sport grades were a little better.
Now its starting all over again, grades are horrible, he is acting out and angry, getting suspended (for stupid things, not even serious but disrespectful) pushing me to my limits and I am so tired.
Ive been up all night reading about absent parents and how it effects kids...I feel like there is no hope, like as long as his situation is what it is I might as well just sit and watch him self destruct. I have not kept him from his father...In the beginning I put a lot of effort and energy into trying to fix it...forcing him to go to his house, nagging him to stop ignoring his calls and call him back. But dad was so inconsistent and so preoccupied with the woman he was involved with he didn't really try that hard. Since we have moved he calls him and texts him but they are very shallow conversations and our son doesn't seem interested in maintaining a relationship. There has been no mention of a summer visit or anything like that. To be honest Im relieved at that since turning my son over to a person who hates me, I have minimal at best contact with and who has little character is not my idea of a solution.
That being said Im starting to think that moving was a huge mistake, that I may have threw a wrench in to their relationship or what it could have been. granted his father has not tried any harder to make it right with our son but maybe if they were still in the same city....it seems like he is not so obsessed with the new woman, its had been 3 years now and im sure the honeymoon is about over. He might be more available to our son ...I don't know Im just at a loss and trying to evaluate the situation to make sure I have done everything I can. I am going to try and find some therapy for both of us to go to together but I really cant afford much. I just cant stand to watch him suffer...maybe this is just a vent to get it out more then anything else.
I don't think this has anything to do with his dad being an A....it has more to do with his dad being emotionally unavailable to him and not being the dad he wants. I guess that would still be the case if we were 2 blocks away as apposed to 3500 miles. I know he is 17 and able to maintain his own relationship with his dad but I think he doesn't know how.
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Does your son have any other male role models he is close with?
Has he stopped therapy entirely or is still going, just not advancing things quickly? Was he rxed anti-depressants?
Does he have hobbies or interests to focus his attention?
Has he stopped therapy entirely or is still going, just not advancing things quickly? Was he rxed anti-depressants?
Does he have hobbies or interests to focus his attention?
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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Trying a different therapist is a good idea. Don't beat yourself up, we are all just doing the best we can. I think you are right - Chances are even if you were closer their relationship would be the same which may even make it harder on him, then you can't blame the distance...
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Join Date: Jan 2011
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Hi Formyboys,
My A father was emotionally unavailable and that is always a very sad thing but we all have to find our way out of FOO collateral damage. Life is a series of choices and your son is at an age where he is going to have to choose whether to allow this sad thing to derail his life and his future or work on replacing that missing hole in his heart with something else.
It appears that you have been on the right track and are doing all that you can and at a certain point your responsibility ends and his begins. He must choose to find his own way out and find what his life desires are... what gives him joy, purpose and meaning?
Is he connected to anything? Sports? Hobbies? Church? Charities?
In my youth horses saved my life. I lived breathed and slept my horses. It made the insanity of an A home tolerable and kept me from running away to the circus.
Passion. We were all designed to be passionate and find our creativity and purpose. Find what God wired him for to turn on his passion and set him in that direction. Whether it is football, bowling, bicycling, hot air ballooning, skydiving, recreational diving, showing dogs, salsa dancing, boating, fishing... something that sets his heart on fire!
And then find a strong male mentor in whatever that passion might be... go interview and meet instructors that can help fill that role.
Many times you can find great men who can help role model for your son at various charitable organizations in your community. Giving back to those who have less than we do is a great way to learn gratitude and unselfishness.
I was an abused child but I now use that experience to try to help other children avoid that situation entirely and am working on a national model to be used in jails and prisons that will benefit the wives and children of the male alcoholic and addict.
My bad situation as a child inspired me to help change the world around me and your experience and your son's negative experience can one day be the catalyst for him to be a role model and mentor to another young man (maybe yet to be born) to fill the empty spot where his absentee dad is not standing.
We can be the change we want to see in the world. I think Ghandi said that.
My A father was emotionally unavailable and that is always a very sad thing but we all have to find our way out of FOO collateral damage. Life is a series of choices and your son is at an age where he is going to have to choose whether to allow this sad thing to derail his life and his future or work on replacing that missing hole in his heart with something else.
It appears that you have been on the right track and are doing all that you can and at a certain point your responsibility ends and his begins. He must choose to find his own way out and find what his life desires are... what gives him joy, purpose and meaning?
Is he connected to anything? Sports? Hobbies? Church? Charities?
In my youth horses saved my life. I lived breathed and slept my horses. It made the insanity of an A home tolerable and kept me from running away to the circus.
Passion. We were all designed to be passionate and find our creativity and purpose. Find what God wired him for to turn on his passion and set him in that direction. Whether it is football, bowling, bicycling, hot air ballooning, skydiving, recreational diving, showing dogs, salsa dancing, boating, fishing... something that sets his heart on fire!
And then find a strong male mentor in whatever that passion might be... go interview and meet instructors that can help fill that role.
Many times you can find great men who can help role model for your son at various charitable organizations in your community. Giving back to those who have less than we do is a great way to learn gratitude and unselfishness.
I was an abused child but I now use that experience to try to help other children avoid that situation entirely and am working on a national model to be used in jails and prisons that will benefit the wives and children of the male alcoholic and addict.
My bad situation as a child inspired me to help change the world around me and your experience and your son's negative experience can one day be the catalyst for him to be a role model and mentor to another young man (maybe yet to be born) to fill the empty spot where his absentee dad is not standing.
We can be the change we want to see in the world. I think Ghandi said that.
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formyboys---my heart practically bleeds for you. Nobody knows how hard it is for a single mother to raise boys unless they have walked in those terrifying shoes. We try to be both mother and father or try to orchestrate a healthy relationship between father and son. But, we can never be a man and we can't control the father-son relationship--the best we can do is not be a roadblock. Beyond that--it is useless energy spent.
formyboys---I don't pretend to have "the answers"....but, I can speak from my own experience with this kind of situation. At this age, boys need--so desperately--strong, successful male role models to relate to. Also, their peer group is probably more important than any other factor. They will lean on their peer group to satisfy their needs if they are troubled within themselves. They will look to the peer group for identity and security--thus, they can be led anywhere.
At this age--boys seldom share their most intimate thoughts with their mothers (it is a biologic thing). If they are depressed or stressed--they may act-out or seek any kind of fun or dangerous activity to distract themselves--as they don't ususally have the verbal skills or brain development to deal with their own feelings. They need constructive outlets, a safe peer group and strong m ale role models to look up to.
I can tell you what I would do--since I know few details about your total situation. I would seek out a youth counselor or a church or some kind of organization that is dedicated to working with at risk youth. I would pour my story out to them and ask them to guide me in finding a situation or a mentor for my son. Often we don't know about the resources that are available---knowledge is power. Sometimes we have to find someone else who does have the knowledge--who does know where the resources are.
Perhaps he could go to a summer camp this year---like "Outward Bound", or a working camp--like a horse camp, etc. maybe a music camp or a youth corp program. There are organizations that give grants or fund expenses if finances are an obstacle. Kids of this age have got to be kept busy and challenged by something constructive--they thrive on it. "Idle hands are the devil's workshop"--my grndmother reminded me of this until she was blue in the face.
Basically, I am saying to know that it is time to get the kind of help that will matter. You are never going to be a man, and you might as well give up on that "dead horse" of a father. You are being a very good m other. You love him..and you care..and you are trying everything that you know. That is all you can do. Maybe, it is time to find someone else that can be useful to him.
I seriously doubt that his "problems" are a result of the relationship between the two of you--at least, not the major ones. Try not to beat up on yourself with guilt.
Actually--you probably could use the therapy to help you--with all that you have to bear---I know the exaustion and fear that you must carry around all the time.
I hope that this helps some...
Let us know how it goes....I often think about you and wondering how you are doing.
Sincerely,
dandylion
formyboys---I don't pretend to have "the answers"....but, I can speak from my own experience with this kind of situation. At this age, boys need--so desperately--strong, successful male role models to relate to. Also, their peer group is probably more important than any other factor. They will lean on their peer group to satisfy their needs if they are troubled within themselves. They will look to the peer group for identity and security--thus, they can be led anywhere.
At this age--boys seldom share their most intimate thoughts with their mothers (it is a biologic thing). If they are depressed or stressed--they may act-out or seek any kind of fun or dangerous activity to distract themselves--as they don't ususally have the verbal skills or brain development to deal with their own feelings. They need constructive outlets, a safe peer group and strong m ale role models to look up to.
I can tell you what I would do--since I know few details about your total situation. I would seek out a youth counselor or a church or some kind of organization that is dedicated to working with at risk youth. I would pour my story out to them and ask them to guide me in finding a situation or a mentor for my son. Often we don't know about the resources that are available---knowledge is power. Sometimes we have to find someone else who does have the knowledge--who does know where the resources are.
Perhaps he could go to a summer camp this year---like "Outward Bound", or a working camp--like a horse camp, etc. maybe a music camp or a youth corp program. There are organizations that give grants or fund expenses if finances are an obstacle. Kids of this age have got to be kept busy and challenged by something constructive--they thrive on it. "Idle hands are the devil's workshop"--my grndmother reminded me of this until she was blue in the face.
Basically, I am saying to know that it is time to get the kind of help that will matter. You are never going to be a man, and you might as well give up on that "dead horse" of a father. You are being a very good m other. You love him..and you care..and you are trying everything that you know. That is all you can do. Maybe, it is time to find someone else that can be useful to him.
I seriously doubt that his "problems" are a result of the relationship between the two of you--at least, not the major ones. Try not to beat up on yourself with guilt.
Actually--you probably could use the therapy to help you--with all that you have to bear---I know the exaustion and fear that you must carry around all the time.
I hope that this helps some...
Let us know how it goes....I often think about you and wondering how you are doing.
Sincerely,
dandylion
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I've raised 4 children...3 sons, 1 daugh. my eldest is now 41. teenage years were proof for me that I was a decent person.
and I knew why God made us love them so much as infants. because if we had not loved them so much then, we would have surely dropped them off at the nearest fire station when they became teens.
my sons were extremely sensitive, brooding, moody during the teen years. daughter was great fun. sons were a hoot as grade schoolers, but oh, those teen years.
they all turned out greaaatttt!!!
you seem to have a clear idea of what not to do, and are actively seeking alternate methods of assistance for your son. just being on task says a whole lot! and it will also speak to him some day when he pushes through all of this, and he realizes how you were AWARE! that will speak volumes to him some day.
keep strong.
and I knew why God made us love them so much as infants. because if we had not loved them so much then, we would have surely dropped them off at the nearest fire station when they became teens.
my sons were extremely sensitive, brooding, moody during the teen years. daughter was great fun. sons were a hoot as grade schoolers, but oh, those teen years.
they all turned out greaaatttt!!!
you seem to have a clear idea of what not to do, and are actively seeking alternate methods of assistance for your son. just being on task says a whole lot! and it will also speak to him some day when he pushes through all of this, and he realizes how you were AWARE! that will speak volumes to him some day.
keep strong.
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,057
Thanks Embraced. Your words helped me. Single parenting is the hardest job I've ever had, and the one I'm most afraid to screw up. Mine are in teens and early 20s now. It's much harder now than when a hug and kiss and word of encouragement would ease their troubles.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: back woods USA
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Neither one of us is in any kind of therapy right now. We both did it for a year and a half until the move, haven't had any medical until recently so I wasn't in a position to do that. I thought I had it pretty much handled but am realizing that I could still use some and obviously my son could as well. We have not don't it together since right after the split up with his dad...I think we could both use that now.
He is just drifting...I see it in his eyes. He has that tough exterior up and acts as if he doesn't care about anyone or anything. its so hard to watch knowing what a caring and sensitive person he really is. My boy who use to sit and cry when the animal shelter commercials came on, who would watch "chick flicks" with me and tear up...and that was just last year. I hate that this has literally changed who he is.
He has expressed some interest in a local MMA gym in town. I took him down there to watch a class and a few of the coaches came and introduced there selves to us....really great guys and he really liked them. Im going to sign him up as soon as we can fit it into his schedule, tomorrow he is going to take a class for free to see what he thinks. I think it would be great on 2 levels...he will be able to work some of his anger out physically, and get to know some really great role models in these men. they talked a lot about character and self control. and how they are a big family.
I hate that his dad has the ability to just bail, that he knows that I will just pick up the slack so he doesn't have to worry. what if I was the kind of person who could just emotionally bail?? where would our son be? what is it in his brain that says its ok, she will take care of it, you don't have to feel obligated to do anything for your son???
It has gotten bad in the last 3 days...he is pushing me and pushing all my buttons because he is grounded right now. Its spring break here and he is not leaving the house. I don't know who is being punished more at this point, him ...or me.
He is just drifting...I see it in his eyes. He has that tough exterior up and acts as if he doesn't care about anyone or anything. its so hard to watch knowing what a caring and sensitive person he really is. My boy who use to sit and cry when the animal shelter commercials came on, who would watch "chick flicks" with me and tear up...and that was just last year. I hate that this has literally changed who he is.
He has expressed some interest in a local MMA gym in town. I took him down there to watch a class and a few of the coaches came and introduced there selves to us....really great guys and he really liked them. Im going to sign him up as soon as we can fit it into his schedule, tomorrow he is going to take a class for free to see what he thinks. I think it would be great on 2 levels...he will be able to work some of his anger out physically, and get to know some really great role models in these men. they talked a lot about character and self control. and how they are a big family.
I hate that his dad has the ability to just bail, that he knows that I will just pick up the slack so he doesn't have to worry. what if I was the kind of person who could just emotionally bail?? where would our son be? what is it in his brain that says its ok, she will take care of it, you don't have to feel obligated to do anything for your son???
It has gotten bad in the last 3 days...he is pushing me and pushing all my buttons because he is grounded right now. Its spring break here and he is not leaving the house. I don't know who is being punished more at this point, him ...or me.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
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To me it sounds like getting to his heart is the big issue.
Have you two tried to write letters to each other instead of talking about the issue. What about buying him a card and put a note in there.
Boys generally feel they have to be tuff but if you can get to his heart is when things can change.
Have you two tried to write letters to each other instead of talking about the issue. What about buying him a card and put a note in there.
Boys generally feel they have to be tuff but if you can get to his heart is when things can change.
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formyboys--the gym sounds like a very good idea! Even if he is on restriction--maybe you could take him down (because you are chaperoning him) to sign up and even maybe go out for lunch together.
just an idea.....
dandylion
just an idea.....
dandylion
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: back woods USA
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Radiant...the card is a great idea. I use to love picking out cards for people and mailing them. People just don't do that anymore. I will defiantly try that.
and Dandylion I think its a great idea to, it was actually his idea but when I showed interest he backed off..the typical teenage "oh you like it well then never mind"..lol
but im going to take him to check it out and hope that he gets into it.
I am all for enlisting as many people I can to help with this younge man....I am not above saying I have no idea what to do anymore and need help.
and Dandylion I think its a great idea to, it was actually his idea but when I showed interest he backed off..the typical teenage "oh you like it well then never mind"..lol
but im going to take him to check it out and hope that he gets into it.
I am all for enlisting as many people I can to help with this younge man....I am not above saying I have no idea what to do anymore and need help.
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Is there a male relative who would take him to sign up---and, maybe spend a little time with him in the process. Boys hate to walk into places with their mother at their side (I forgot about that!). LOL.
dandylion
dandylion
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my uncle would take him...but we would be going at the same time. I do Crossfit and actually found this place because Crossfit has there gym in the back of this MMA place. I go twice a week and he would be having his class at the same time Im working out. So he would just have to deal with it..lol!
The Coaches that we talked to said that if he really wanted to get into it..and he did, he could take the 3 classes one after another and be there for almost 3 hours during the summer (wrestling, strikes and ju jitsu) that would def keep him busy and wear him out and I would not be there while he was there.
I also plan on having him find a part time job when school lets out, and start working on getting his permit. he has just showed no interest in that but Im going to start pushing him toward that so he will get some confidence back...start feeling some independence.
The Coaches that we talked to said that if he really wanted to get into it..and he did, he could take the 3 classes one after another and be there for almost 3 hours during the summer (wrestling, strikes and ju jitsu) that would def keep him busy and wear him out and I would not be there while he was there.
I also plan on having him find a part time job when school lets out, and start working on getting his permit. he has just showed no interest in that but Im going to start pushing him toward that so he will get some confidence back...start feeling some independence.
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I did get lucky in this department. I was still with my ex, but my ex was absent from their lives. They joined the environmental club in school. I don't think it had too much to do with the environmental club, it had to do with the teachers.
I know the school year is almost over, but check out the clubs in the school. It may not be something he will like, but if he likes that teacher it could make a big difference.
I know the school year is almost over, but check out the clubs in the school. It may not be something he will like, but if he likes that teacher it could make a big difference.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
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I have been really disappointed in the help I have gotten from the school, he is one of the managers on the varsity baseball team, he didn't actually make the team this year so they made him a manager. The Coaches know he is struggling and have done nothing to help. I have talked to teachers and the principle and have gotten nothing. They are kind of cliquey here, I don't know if its a southern thing or what but us being from California feels like its been a disadvantage.
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I'm sorry to hear about how that school is. You see, I would have never thought about the school. My first thing with the school was the science teacher. He called me personally, and told me that my son is really intelligent, but not doing his best in school. This teacher and I had agreed on the science club. My son hated me for doing this, then he started to enjoy going to the after school competitions.
The environmental club, both my son and daughter joined that one. My daughter went to Costa Rico twice with that club. It was a mix of people and personalities. From the rich to the poor, the academically talented to the slaggers. What they both got out of that was the beauty of seeing other people for who they are regardless of their status. It was a bonding experience for both of my children.
I don't know the things you have available in your area, but I would look for something like that. So I will go with the sports thing, or karate.
The environmental club, both my son and daughter joined that one. My daughter went to Costa Rico twice with that club. It was a mix of people and personalities. From the rich to the poor, the academically talented to the slaggers. What they both got out of that was the beauty of seeing other people for who they are regardless of their status. It was a bonding experience for both of my children.
I don't know the things you have available in your area, but I would look for something like that. So I will go with the sports thing, or karate.
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I recently started doing Karate! I can honestly say it's one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I so wish I had put my kids in it.
It is both mental and physical. It has such mental, emotional and physical benefits. I would even encourage you to try it too. It's not at all what I thought it would be and I joined reluctantly but I absolutely love it.
It is both mental and physical. It has such mental, emotional and physical benefits. I would even encourage you to try it too. It's not at all what I thought it would be and I joined reluctantly but I absolutely love it.
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Small town in the south? Join a church with lots of young people. There are youth groups that he can participate in. Small southern towns are not known for their openness. If you are part of the group, you are welcomed, outsiders not so much. Not all towns are like that, but many are. Things will get easier as you are there longer and get to know more people.
Can he spend more time with the uncle doing man things? Maybe with uncles friends with kids? What about his cousin? Are they close?
Can he spend more time with the uncle doing man things? Maybe with uncles friends with kids? What about his cousin? Are they close?
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Formyboys,
My DS is about to turn 13 so your is a bit older and I so fear this period. My RAH lost his father when he was a boy. It is plainly evident he has no real idea HOW to be a dad. I used to try to force it back in my earlier Codie days, but detached and did the best I could. But I knew eventually I could not fill that hole. I have no local family and my father (surprise surprise is emotionally withdrawn) so though he visits - he is pretty darn quiet.
A few weeks ago I forced them to go to a movie without me. I just wanted some alone time. They were both whining to me to go. It was a revelation that I am the glue. These two males depend on me for the family framework. They clearly have angst between them. Why both of these critters love me is a bit of a conundrum to my Codie self.
So do not think that XAH or XRAH being in the picture would be a solution. These As are broken. Even if sober and working a program there are just some things that are "off."
I love the gym idea. I think you are on the right path. I think you are wise to pull in help and write a few kind and loving notes to your son. I wrote a funny. Are to my DS at Halloween and just found it tucked in a book. Clearly it meant something to him and it make my little heart burst.
Also I love this simple book. Your DS is probably old enough to get something out of it. This man if I remember right lost a son to leukemia and another to suicide. He writes with great wisdom and heart. I see he has another newer book out that might also be good. Another simple book that might be a good message is The Last Lecture. BC your son is basically making decisions now that will impact his choices in the future.. Both of these books are short and powerful. I re-read them or a section periodically.
Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now: Gordon Livingston, Elizabeth Edwards: 9781569243732: Amazon.com: Books
Hugs Formyboys. I think you were wise to move and you have done all you could.
My DS is about to turn 13 so your is a bit older and I so fear this period. My RAH lost his father when he was a boy. It is plainly evident he has no real idea HOW to be a dad. I used to try to force it back in my earlier Codie days, but detached and did the best I could. But I knew eventually I could not fill that hole. I have no local family and my father (surprise surprise is emotionally withdrawn) so though he visits - he is pretty darn quiet.
A few weeks ago I forced them to go to a movie without me. I just wanted some alone time. They were both whining to me to go. It was a revelation that I am the glue. These two males depend on me for the family framework. They clearly have angst between them. Why both of these critters love me is a bit of a conundrum to my Codie self.
So do not think that XAH or XRAH being in the picture would be a solution. These As are broken. Even if sober and working a program there are just some things that are "off."
I love the gym idea. I think you are on the right path. I think you are wise to pull in help and write a few kind and loving notes to your son. I wrote a funny. Are to my DS at Halloween and just found it tucked in a book. Clearly it meant something to him and it make my little heart burst.
Also I love this simple book. Your DS is probably old enough to get something out of it. This man if I remember right lost a son to leukemia and another to suicide. He writes with great wisdom and heart. I see he has another newer book out that might also be good. Another simple book that might be a good message is The Last Lecture. BC your son is basically making decisions now that will impact his choices in the future.. Both of these books are short and powerful. I re-read them or a section periodically.
Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now: Gordon Livingston, Elizabeth Edwards: 9781569243732: Amazon.com: Books
Hugs Formyboys. I think you were wise to move and you have done all you could.
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A scene from a not too well known movie popped in my head too. Paul Neuman is a grandfather and he gives an old watch to his grandson who is afraid. He tells him you only have to be brave for 60 seconds at a time. The father is watching this scene and learning the same lesson behind a half closed door if I recall it correctly. This movie is all about relationships and it is based on a Richard Russo book and moves in a slow snowy nowhere little town - Nobody's Fool. My RAH adores this movie and I suspect this is the closest thing he has to imagining what his A father might have been like if he was alive. Which is sad.
Nobody's Fool Movie Review & Film Summary (1995) | Roger Ebert
Nobody's Fool Movie Review & Film Summary (1995) | Roger Ebert
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