i want to be....
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lost in the midwest
Posts: 443
i want to be....
6'00", dark dirty blonde hair that brushes my shoulders. hmm, blue or green eyes and skin that tans, never burns. I want to have the body of a swimmer. i want no stretch marks from bearing children. I want the purest mind, and to be the most gentle natured person you have ever met!!!! 
but....
I am 5'8", brunette with brown eyes, my skin does burn. I have an average build, and my body has plenty of proof of bearing children.
My point? I also want to be a normal drinker, but I have the mind of an alcoholic. No matter how much i wish it would change, it simply won't. testing and retesting this theory isnt going to change that, just as swimming laps isnt going to make me taller.
But, I do have the ability to recognize that today, and I have the opportunity to work on my spirit, and my demeanor. I have reached out to people that i never dreamed i would have a conversation with, about things i never thought i would talk about. That is a blessing!! look, today i have 15 days sober, and that is a miracle! my longest stretch (aside from pregnancy) was 116 days. I dont know if i will get there again, but it certainly requires more than wishing. it requires more than decision making, it requires work, and faith.
For anyone struggling, hang in there. dont lose hope!!! IT IS POSSIBLE!
but....
I am 5'8", brunette with brown eyes, my skin does burn. I have an average build, and my body has plenty of proof of bearing children.
My point? I also want to be a normal drinker, but I have the mind of an alcoholic. No matter how much i wish it would change, it simply won't. testing and retesting this theory isnt going to change that, just as swimming laps isnt going to make me taller.
But, I do have the ability to recognize that today, and I have the opportunity to work on my spirit, and my demeanor. I have reached out to people that i never dreamed i would have a conversation with, about things i never thought i would talk about. That is a blessing!! look, today i have 15 days sober, and that is a miracle! my longest stretch (aside from pregnancy) was 116 days. I dont know if i will get there again, but it certainly requires more than wishing. it requires more than decision making, it requires work, and faith.
For anyone struggling, hang in there. dont lose hope!!! IT IS POSSIBLE!
It sounds like you're doing the right things for your recovery. 
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